


do what thou wilt

by sunflowerwitches



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Historical, Alternative Universe - 1600s, M/M, Pendle Hill, Witchcraft
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-28
Updated: 2020-08-18
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:55:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23894926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerwitches/pseuds/sunflowerwitches
Summary: dan has always known that he isn't a normal human, he grew up wiccan in the middle of seventeenth-century england. he definitely knew he wasn't normal when he has to flee his family home due to the witch trials taking place. he flees to pendle hill in lancashire which isn't completely different to his life back home
Relationships: Dan Howell & Phil Lester, Dan Howell/Phil Lester
Comments: 40
Kudos: 30





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi everyone!!! ive been planning this for a while and this fic means so much to me. i have always wanted to write a witch au fic but they've already been done, to the supernatural sense so i thought why not make it a tad more realistic.
> 
> i thought about the salem witch trials but the idea of pendle hill made more sense because i make it as close to real canon life as i can. 
> 
> disclaimer: im a history student so i am trying to make this as accurate as possible in terms of seventeenth century england but im not perfect. my niche in history is definitely BCE so i will probably make some errors along the way. however, some of the "errors" are on purpose because without some slight changes, the story would be incredibly different.
> 
> i will also write notes at the end of each chapter with some definition or explanations for wiccan terms that i think may be a grey area for general knowledge. if i miss something you want help with understand please leave a comment and i'll do my best to explain it to u <3 i dont want this to be confusing in anyway
> 
> ALSO another disclaimer: this is my religion. please be nice <3 everyone who practises wicca is different. there's SO many paths so i'm going to only be following my own in this fic. if you are wiccan yourself and read this and feel there are some inaccuracies. you may be right, for you personally. but for me this is my life. so please remain thoughtful about that.
> 
> again. if u need anything explained feel free to leave a comment. i'll try and define them all in notes after the chapter but if it's not there, i won't feel offended if you don't understand. not everyone is knowledgable on everything and i understand that :) <3

Dan feels sick. It is a mixture between an upset stomach from a lack of food and substantial sustenance for a few days from the travelling and the anxiety looming in the pit of his tummy. His mind keeps tying his thoughts into incredibly tight knots about what happened-

No. Dan cannot think about it. He promised he would not let that flood his thoughts anymore.

But the churning of his stomach is almost unbearable. Sickening incredibly tight knots of the ideas that he fucked up massively and the only thing that could possibly keep him from lashing out into a river of tears is the promise of a better life.

Not that his life wasn’t perfect beforehand. He had a loving family. He had a mother who waited on his hand and foot like any mother would who had a bouncing baby boy grow past the first year since birth. Maybe that was the obsidian on his side, that lay under his pillow until he turned eighteen, just in case. He had a father who was so proud of him like he didn’t witness from his friends back home. They had horrible parents, lack thereof a better word.

Keyword – had. _Had_. He wasn’t so sure anymore.

Dan knows he was incredibly lucky having a family who loved him and that is exactly why he hates the idea of speaking in the past tense. It doesn’t feel right. He shouldn’t speak like that. There is no way he could possibly know what happened to them back home in Wokingham.

That is why, for the first time ever, Dan is moving far far away from his parents. More than humanly possible. It may be permanent, and goddess knows, Dan really hopes not. The idea of- No. Dan can’t even imagine thinking of what happened.

He looks out beside him for a moment, not at all comforted by the quickly passing greenery. He should be comforted by greenery. He should be comforted by the idea that he is surrounded by forests upon forests where he can hide and set up an altar if needed but he isn’t. He’s hoping that maybe time will pass and he can grow accustomed to the change he is forced to deal with.

The nervous twisting of Dan’s insides returns as he realises, he is approaching his destination. His horse is very clearly a witch’s horse because they knew exactly where to go. His father told him, all before he had left his family home for good, that he _must_ get on the horse that he has left in the forest behind their house to Lancaster and wait until the horse completely stops before he gets off. The horse will know where she’s going and Dan should feel free to keep her if he wants. Lancaster is safe for witches, that’s what has always been said.

It’s a safe haven. A lot of witches go to Lancaster to be safe because truth be told, most of England isn’t safe anymore. Goddess, most of the world isn’t safe for witches anymore. He’s heard about what’s going on in France to the people who are different and the threats of that are coming straight to England too and Dan hates that he will probably see that car crash.

He shakes his head of the wiring thoughts and tries desperately to ignore the guilt of leaving his family behind down south as he makes his way through this scarily unfamiliar village – surprisingly not many people are flooding Lancaster after escaping a potentially fatal outcome at home. Maybe he is the only unlucky one after all.

He exhales like he hasn’t let his breath go for the entire journey. It’s been days but until he got to Lancaster, he knew he would always be on edge. And now he’s here. He can breathe a little bit.

The air is different. Not completely salty but saltier than the air he knows back home.

Right. Lancaster is a coastal town. Very different from his inner-city hometown. That could be the only benefit of all of this, the crisp sea air.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

He made his way to the address that his father sorted out for him in no time. It was really close to the village which Dan just walked through and under normal circumstances, Dan would find ideal. But he didn’t care. He didn’t care at all because let’s be real, what did he need to use a village full of people for? He wasn’t going to ever make friends.

He sees the house in front of him. It isn’t anything special but it’s enough that he could afford the rent for a few months without rushing for a job. Maybe his father knew that he wouldn’t rush to find a job – either with the hopes that he could return back home after it all dies down or that he would be too tired and upset mourning the loss of his life before the world turned it upside down.

He knew he needed to look for a job though. He _knew_ this was permanent. He couldn’t say it enough to himself on the train journey here. He knew he would never see his family again but if he was lucky, they’d be happy living their life in Wokingham without him. He could hope for that at the very least.

He hops off the horse and pats her on the head as a symbol of gratitude before taking her reigns and allowing her to follow his footsteps.

He steps towards the cottage that is now his own and onto the cobblestone pathway that leads his feet to the front door. He looks around and sees a plethora of rainbow flowers littering the front garden, clearly kept well from whoever lived here last. Any other day, he would laugh at how much this screams _witch lives here_ but he isn’t in the mood for laughter today.

The trees surrounding the house are tall and almost overpowering but protective at the same time. You would think the trees would mask the sunlight due to their height, but they don’t at all. Maybe that’s witchy magic but Dan does not think he can blame everything on spirituality.

He can hear a small jingle to the side of him and notices a rainbow wind chime dangling down off of the wood panelling across the doorway and watches it saunter in the air.

It’s almost like the owner could sense his arrival – it's almost like the owner is also a witch, which they were, obviously, his father wouldn’t leave him in the hands of a non-witch because that would be too risky – because he hears a cleared throat and the quiet clatter of shoes walking along a stone path walking towards him.

“Hi!” the voice says. He looks up to find a very pretty woman in front of him, not that that was important to this situation or to Dan ever for that matter, waving innocently. “You must be Dan!?”

Dan merely nods because he isn’t completely distracted to be a dickhead right now but he doesn’t feel like engaging in an entire conversation.

“I thought I could sense you coming. I’m Eleanor.”

“Dan,” he replies instantly and immediately wants to smack himself in the face for being an idiot. Of course, she already knows that.

“These are your keys. Make yourself at home,” she giggles in response before handing him some keys that he assumes are for the cottage, “I’m under the impression that home life wasn’t good?”

“Home life was good actually,” Dan almost screams and hates himself for snapping but it is too soon to not be overly protective of his family.

He watches as Eleanor’s face crinkles up like she’s received the worst news imaginable, like she _wanted_ Dan to have a terrible home life, “Oh. Sorry, I didn’t mea-“

“No, it’s okay. I get what you mean,” Dan sighs. Because he did. He did know but he is far too fragile right now.

“I’ve taken the liberty of leaving you some basic essentials in the lounge. Sage, some crystals for healing etc. I assume you need them. A witch lived here before you but you can’t be too safe with negative energy so the sage may help!”

Dan says thank you but all he can really think about is how he doesn’t need healing crystals and he brought all the negative energy with him.

“Your horse is welcome to stay here too. I’m sure she’ll love the fields in the back!”

Dan nods and smiles lightly, kind of forgetting that his horse is right behind him for a second. All he knew for the last five minutes was himself and the presence of another person.

He watches as Eleanor walks away, with the same clatter of her heels and a completely different energy to her. He makes a mental reminder that he needs to apologise to Eleanor when he sees her next – if he sees her again that is. Nothing is ever permanent.

Pushing the key into the slot and turning it to open the door, he drags himself and his very few bags in with a slum demeanour. He expected to live in a complete run-down place for a few months before he could get on his feet, but this is the complete opposite.

It was by no means perfect but it’s something, to say the least. The exterior wood panelling still makes an appearance inside but it’s slightly darker, contrasting against the eggshell coloured wallpaper. There’s a log fire in the one corner and what looks like the remains of a previous witches altar in the other corner opposite.

He makes his way into the lounge properly and sees the gifts that Eleanor had left him with a small note attached. He picks the note up and skims it with his eyes.

_Hi Daniel!_

_I’ve left you some basic witchy essentials because I didn’t know if you would have brought any with you. I’m not sure what state you left in but I assume an urgent one._

_Please don’t feel any need to repay me. I know how witches get with favours, but I know you will probably be there for me if I need anything in return one day. And besides, it’s only a few bounds of sage and some howlite and amazonite, nothing major._

_I’m the next house along if you need anything. I live with my wife (in all but legal name obviously) and a few orphaned children so if you see any small boys with a cheeky grin on their faces, don’t mind them. They just love the land your home has!_

_Please don’t be a stranger,_

_That it harm none, do as thou wilt,_

_Eleanor x_

Dan feels a pang of guilt in his gut as he reads the sincerity and niceness of the letter because it’s a severe contrast to how horrible he was to her just a few moments ago.

His eyes still on the words _my wife_ as if he has never heard of them before. But of course, he hasn’t. Why would he ever need to hear the words _my wife_ when he isn’t ever going to have one himself? Perks of being Wiccan in the seventeenth century England is that there’s absolutely no negativity against who you want to marry, regardless of their sex and/or gender.

That’s something that Dan has already prided himself on. The fact he would turn up to school growing up, because his family were rich enough to educate him luckily, and be faced with derogatory comments about men loving men or women loving women but then he would close his front door and return to normal hearing nothing but loving comments about love regardless of who it was with.

His family knew he wasn’t going to have a wife and children like the stereotypes of his surroundings, and they didn’t care because they knew whoever Dan chose to love would love him the right way. It did not matter if they had long blonde curly hair and red lipstick or trousers and a fulltime job. Love truly is love to a Wiccan.

He holds back tears thinking about his family as he walks towards the log fire and bends down, starting a small fire. It isn’t a cold November night by any means, it’s the middle of June so he doesn’t need the fire for heat. Not yet anyway.

He stands up straight again and rings the bell that Eleanor left him – quite thoughtful really. He walks around the small expanse of the lounge, the kitchen and quickly walks upstairs into his bare bedroom – ringing the bell the entire time. He is upset but he is going to sage properly and awaken the energies in the house.

He makes his way back downstairs and unwraps a tiny part of the sage before holding it over the open flames of the log fire, watching intently as the flame slowly engulfs the sage and blows the flame to kill it just as quickly as it was born.

With both of his hands, he brings the sage and the smoke that follows it over his head and down the front and back of his body, as well as he being a tall person and lacking the energy to do it with full intent. He realises that’s as best as he is going to get to cleanse himself for now before moving room to room, waving around the sage slowly whilst inspecting the house properly for the first time.

His kitchen is very pretty. It’s very obvious that whoever lived here before him was a kitchen witch. Who takes care of their kitchen _this_ well without it having a necessary purpose?

Once he makes it into his bedroom again, he quickly waves the sage around before the embers completely dull. Quite fitting.

He collapses onto his bed realising that he is done with today. It took well over half a day to get here and that is enough. He didn’t even do the journey himself, he just sat back in a train carriage and let the train driver do all the work.

But who can blame him for being so tired when he woke up yesterday with an entire loving family and a happy life and is going to sleep today with none of that?

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Somehow, he has a good sleep and somehow, he finds himself leaving his cottage in the early hours of the morning to explore. Already feeling like his emotions simmering after the sage cleanse the night before. He is still pretty upset but it is better than nothing and progress is progress.

The wind he faced just the evening before had died down and it’s now just a warm summer breeze. He didn’t hate it and it actually may have accidentally produced a small spring in his step. But he wasn’t going to admit to that. He isn’t going to admit that he is a lot happier already. His family could be dead for all he knows.

He finds his way to a small little village which couldn’t be more than a fifteen-minute walk from his cottage – the exact same village he walked through just yesterday when arriving. He takes a quick look around because it is now in broad daylight and by quick he means _quick_ because the small little village is an understatement. There’s a collection of grocery stands one side of the road and a vegetable patch the other that has a sign saying _free for all_ above the entryway. Dan can't help but feel like that’s a lovely thing to do, something he has never seen back home before.

He turns his head a little more and sees a small dainty little café with not that many people in it. It’s not to be underestimated that there aren't a lot of people pottering around this village at 7:30am anyway but the café is even quieter, almost making Dan question whether it’s open. He walks closer and notices it is, in fact, open and heads inside because he could do with some pastries and a coffee, or two or three, who is really counting?

Quickly orders his black coffee and croissants to go, after several minutes politely arguing with the cashier that he wants his coffee black and _yes that means he doesn’t want any milk in his brew and yes he knows that’s weird but he doesn’t drink milk so he has grown accustomed to coffee withou_ t and turns his head around the noticeboard on his departure noticing a recognisable scribe.

_hwæt á hǣþnu!_

_gegæncg tómorgen at town hall_

_drýicge only_

Dan could almost drop this coffee cup if he wasn’t trying to play it cool. Seeing that scribe wasn’t something he thought would happen whilst trying to remain unnoticed in Lancaster. His first proper day here and he has clearly noticed a witches writing announcing a coven meet up for tomorrow evening. This wasn’t supposed to happen.

At least not this early on. Does he even risk going?

“Sir?” a voice calls which makes Dan jolt back from the noticeboard like it suddenly caught on fire and he didn’t want to be burnt.

“Huh?”

“Ignore that note. Someone left gibberish there this morning and we have yet to take it down yet,” the cashier huffs as he rolls his eyes playfully at Dan. He clearly doesn’t notice just how startled Dan is. “Someone is just playing a prank on us or something. Maybe it is one of the children being a fool.”

“Haha, yeah maybe,” Dan mutters and he’s pretty sure it sounds as flustered as he actually is right now. He decides to make a quick mental note of the time and place of the meeting just in case and scurries out of the door as quickly as possible.

He all but literally runs back to his cottage like he was the one who left the note himself. He didn’t and he wants to desperately know who did.

It couldn’t be a prank. Could it? There’s no way a prankster would figure out a witch’s language and write a perfect note in the said language if it were a prank. Right?

As he locks the door behind himself and sits down on the lounge sofa, he ponders the two options he has. He can either one, risk it all and go to the meeting which could in all intents and purpose be a set up by the police force to catch stranded witches, just like they did to some of Dan’s family friends a few weeks ago, or two, he could ignore it and never know.

Dan’s an idiot but he could easily get himself out of a sticky situation if one arises. He isn’t a fool. He could stealthily arrive at the coven meet up and check out the scene before exposing himself. That’s something he could do. He could do it if he went.

Dan drinks the remaining coffee in his cup and throws it into the log fire before ultimately deciding, fuck it. He’s clearly going to go to this coven meet up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Obsidian – one of the strongest protection stones. It can be used for both emotional and physical protection
> 
> Goddess knows – ok this is just for me really. Wiccans can have two gods, the horned god and the mother goddess and I personally really love the mother goddess so I chose to replace “god” is every casual saying with goddess lmao
> 
> Altar – the place of worship and prayer for Wicca. Usually where spells can be cast if that’s what a witch does (not all witches do spell casting)
> 
> Howlite – usually used for calm communication and to encourage positive emotional expression. Can also assist the elimination of pain, stress and rage.
> 
> Amazonite – associated with filtering out stress, trauma healing and making the home a positive energy
> 
> That it harm none do as thou wilt – from the Wiccan rede, meaning if you do nothing negative and harmful yourself then you will get none yourself
> 
> The noticeboard sign translates to “attention all witches! Meeting tomorrow at the town hall. Witches only.” written in old English
> 
> Also, I know that coven isn’t used until 1921 by witches but just for familiarity for me and for everyone who knows a little bit about witches, I thought I’d use it.
> 
> But thank you for reading <3 i'm so excited to write this :3


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! im back with another chapter!  
> im thinking about posting every tuesday but obviously i suck at sticking to schedules so lets see about that

The evening comes around much quicker than Dan has anticipated but he can’t be mad about it. It’s not that he doesn’t want to join a new coven, because he has quickly realised over the years that his ability to be a solitary witch is lacking some (if not a lot, Dan should be more honest about how he doesn’t have the energy to do things alone like he knows his Grandma did many years ago). He needs to join a coven and he is excited to do so.

  
Thinking about joining a new coven comes with small thoughts about his family. His previous coven was literally just that – a family. It consisted of his Grandma, who created the coven, Coven of the Equinox, his parents and some family friends. It’s nothing major but to Dan, it’s perfect.

He’s sure that new covens will be equally as perfect because they usually consist of a close-knit family and close friends, a coven that he will soon enough mingle himself into and be part of a new family. But, it’s terrifying. What if they weren’t nice to him? What if he isn’t nice enough for them? What if they think he is a fake and not good enough to join their precious coven? He knows how strict witches are with allowing new members in.

He is technically a complete stranger to them so he wouldn’t be surprised if he isn’t allowed to enter. He kind of hopes he is denied because that’s an excuse to be solitary and not trust people won't leave him again.

Not that his family purposely left him or anything. If you’re technically speaking, Dan knows that he _left_ them and everything he once thought he’d have around him forever.

He sighs as he stands up from his bed anyway and makes his way to the suitcase he has yet to unpack full of his clothes. He knew he needed to unpack and make this place into a proper home but that’s far too much commitment right now.

The idea of putting all of his clothes into the built-in cupboard that this cottage came withholds too much commitment and anxiety for him. So, living out of a suitcase will have to do for now. It’s not like he gets any visitors to warrant the rush of making this house a home.  
He runs his hand through his folded clothes. They aren’t neat by any means and are a true representation of the hurry and hysteria that he faced when escaping Wokingham a few nights ago.

He pulls out a very special shirt from his suitcase and holds it up in the air to inspect it. It looks fine and clean so this is definitely what he shall wear for the coven meeting.

The shirt is a black button-up with patterned white lace and skulls dotted all around it in a recognisable pattern. A hand-me-down from his father, that got it from his grandfather and so on. That’s a tradition in Wiccan culture, to have a family heirloom that gets passed throughout the generations.

Clearly, it isn’t _that_ loud because he doesn’t have many family generations involved in his religion, but it’s a start and that’s good enough.

He lays out the shirt along with some simple high-waisted boyfriend trousers that he has probably worn far too many times and strips off to head to their bathroom.

It isn’t the prettiest of bathrooms but it’s better than nothing. It’s just a huge basin enough for Dan to crawl into and fold in on himself easily enough. It’s not like the huge one he had back at his parent’s house. But then again, they had years to prepare knowing their child was abnormally tall and the witch who owned this house before him probably had no idea an over six-foot man would live here in years to come.

He doesn’t mess about cleaning himself, deciding that if he spends any longer than a couple of minutes in this basin he will not be able to unbend out of the shape he’s had to force himself into.

He dries himself off and shoves his legs into the trousers and buttons up his shirt. He watches in the mirror as he French tucks his shirt into his trousers and puffs it out a little bit. He giggles to himself when he sees the little ducktail popping out the back before tucking that in too.

Running his hand through his hair, he bends down into another suitcase and takes out his citrine, a perfect crystal for his first time out somewhere. Perfect for visiting a risky place. He thinks about carrying some black tourmaline for safe measure, but he doesn’t think there’s that much of a risk. Not really.

Yes, it’s a new place but the note on the noticeboard was written in Wiccan scribe, he’s pretty safe and comfortable knowing he isn’t going to turn up to a bunch of police with rifles and pistols. At least he hopes not.

A stab wound he could probably heal all by himself (and the help of positive energy and crystal healing but practically all by himself) but a bullet wound is enough story.

He runs down the stairs into his lounge to check the time, seeing that it’s fairly dark outside means it is probably time to go. So, he sits down, shoving his feet into his black ankle boots one by one before climbing into his thick cape to keep warm. It’s the middle of Summer but still a little bit chilly.

He turns the lock on his front door and enters the chilly June air quickly regretting not bringing a thicker outerwear with him. But he isn’t about to go back inside to find a coat, he is already late and he is _not_ going to admit defeat. Not yet anyway.

He makes his way down the pathway onto the street and puts his hands in the pockets of his trousers as he walks.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

He finds the townhall simple enough. It’s just a short walk away from the café that he visited just this morning. Simple enough to remember if he decides to stay in touch with this coven or not.

It’s just off a small alleyway, away from the main roads which Dan guesses is a suitable place for a witch meeting, especially when, you know, being a witch offers you the death penalty if you happen to be caught. It’s surrounded by pine trees and every now again one of those trees that leaves don’t spend more than a moment or two on the branches, creating a dusting of leaves along the floor that Dan can guess has been played in far too many times by children passing by.

Walking up towards the doorway, that he assumes is the way in, he notices that there’s a little peephole around shoulder level for him – which makes sense because he is literally a giant. The peephole is probably so the people inside can make sure the person entering is who they say they are and not accidentally allowing police inside and thus putting any of their witches under any risk.

It’s almost like they sense him coming, of course, they do they are all witches here, because the peephole is dragged open revealing some beady brown eyes which are surrounded by ice white skin and a few strands of ginger hair dangling down her cheek, a part of her face that Dan can partially see.

“Hi?”

“Hi, I’m Daniel. I s-saw your sign on the noticeboard an-“

“How did you know where to come?”

“I can read?”

“Hmm,” the voice says through the hole in the wall. “One moment, sir.”

He doesn’t have an opportunity to respond before the hole in the wall disappears behind a piece of wood sliding back into place and he’s returned alone in the middle of a darkening alleyway. He has a few moments for anxiety to brew and contemplate how much of a mistake this is.

Of course, he is an idiot. He just walked right into a trap that his parents told him to not even risk. They haven’t been de- he hasn’t been living alone for a week before he goes against their rules.

He eyes his surroundings, scoping out the possible escape routes he could run into any second when the police open this door and arrest him for witchcraft. He could run into the nearby trees and soon lose any of the policemen chasing him. He could run back into the streets where there must be a couple of dozen people milling about that he could lose himself in. But he spends a second doing so before the wooden slot is reopened, and his eyes are catching the others through the gap.

“Okay, Daniel. I’m going to open the door if you could stand back please.”

Dan nods shyly and steps back a couple of inches, allowing what he assumes is enough room for the door to open and it does, just about. He’s greeted with the full body of a woman now. She’s wearing a cape similar to his and a long purple gown that ends mid-calf exposing her pale ankles and some simple black pumps.

He looks back at her face and notices the brass hair in tight ringlets cascading over her slender shoulders which are exposed from the style of dress. Dan would think she looks pretty if he could love women that way.

“Daniel?”

“Huh? Sorry,” Dan blushes shaking his head from his thoughts. It’s been a few seconds and he’s already embarrassed himself in a potential coven. He watches as she ushers him in and follows her instructions as she invades his personal space to close the door.

“I take it you aren’t normal?”

“What exactly is the definition of normal?”

“Funny. I like you,” she laughs as she sits down in her seat and watches Dan for a few moments, making him shuffle in his place uncomfortably. “I take it you’re a witch?”

“Yep.”

“From?”

“I escaped Wokingham.”

“Oh,” he watches as the woman bites her lip for a second before cringing. “I heard that wasn’t very pleasant a few nights ago?”

“Yeah. My family were involved.”

“I’m so sorry about that.”

“Yeah.”

“So, are you wanting to join? We need to know a few things about you before we accept you because we don’t want to just accept _anyone_ you know? That could be a mistake.”

“I understand, fire away.”

“Alright,” he watches again as she messes with the loose fabric on her gown nervously. She cant be as nervous as him though, he’s sure of it. “What type of witch are you?”

“Eclectic. My family brought me up like that, thought it was best for me to make my own decisions later on but I just found this most comfortable.”

“My mother was the same! I stayed eclectic too. We’re mostly eclectic here. There are a few faery witches and green witches but mostly coven based eclectics!”

“Nice,” Dan coughs, shifting on his feet slightly. He isn’t used to standing up for this long because there is usually a seat available somewhere and he’s extremely lazy.

“Next question, will you have anyone joining us? Like a wife or a child or a parent?” she hums innocently as she watches Dan with doe eyes.

“No, I’m alone. I don’t have a wife and I wouldn’t want one anyway.”

“Okay that’s fine!” she smiles, not dimming in any way but his reaction to not wanting a wife. He always forgets after growing up with a lot of non-Wiccans that a lot of Wiccans actually accept you no matter what you are or want from life. Dan could want a wife and kids and it would produce the exact same reaction from the Wiccan if he responded that he wanted a husband and no children. “This isn’t important at all but we have weekly meetings for the higher power so if you do believe in the horned god or the mother goddess you are more than welcome to tag along?”

“Does that mean I’m allowed in?”

“Yes, Daniel.”

“Thank you,” Dan smiles as he feels tears welling in his eyes. He didn’t think he would feel this emotional about being part of a coven again. It’s only been a few days of being technically solitary but that was more than enough. He is looking forward to being part of a collective group again. “And I don’t really believe in them as a higher power as such, just appreciating them day by day.”

“That’s fair enough,” she smiles a toothy grin and reaches a hand out for Dan to shake. “The names Annika.”

“Hi, Annika.”

“Hi Daniel, welcome to the coven of Bramble Root.”

The Coven of Bramble Root. Huh. Dan smiles to himself when realising hearing the coven name cements something in his brain. People don’t just state their covens name without purpose. They could easily be leaked. This much mean that Dan is welcome if he wants to be.

“I have to stay by the door for stranglers or new entries like yourself but just follow the stairs down the hall and open the door, you’ll find us!”

Dan looks behind him and notices exactly what she is talking about. There are a couple of dozen steps going downwards and what he sees is a door with some loud chatter coming from behind. He is nervous but follows instructions regardless, offering a little wave to Annika as he departs.

He pushes the door open to reveal a room with lit candles in every possible place and a couple of people sitting in a circle humming what Dan can assume is a prayer and a few people in duos talking off on their own.

The nerves suddenly come back when he realises, he does need to go and speak to someone to get himself comfortable with the new coven. He’s obviously not going to go and break the prayer circle in the middle because that would be rude. You could expect that from newly converted Wiccan but not from someone like Dan who knows the basic rules. He could go over and speak to the couple kneeling on some pillows in the one corner but again, they don’t look like they want to be interrupted.

He turns his head a couple of inches to the sudden surprise of a petite blonde in front of him. He doesn’t know when they arrived, but he isn’t going to deny they startled him slightly. They must sense his nervousness because they giggle and open their mouth to speak.

“You are?”

“Hi, I’m Daniel,” he exclaims as he accepts the hand being given to him by the woman. One thing he is noticing is that there aren’t very many men in this coven, but he should have expected that knowing there aren’t very many men in Wicca in general, apart from the few women worshipping pathways.

“You must be new I’ve never seen you? I’m Belle.”

“Hi, Belle!”

“You should go and speak to that group over there. Phil and Elizabeth. They are very much your type of people,” Belle laughs as she points over to the couple Dan definitely didn’t want to go over to. Not that he didn’t want to talk to people in his new coven, he just didn’t want to interrupt a clear couple. “Not that we aren’t all your people, by the way, Daniel.”

“No no I get you, I’ll speak to you later,” he pats Belle on her shoulder before spinning on his heels to head towards the couple. He may surprise himself and make his new best friends here.

When he approaches them, it’s almost like they can sense him coming (of course they can, Dan, they are all fucking witches here) because both of their heads dart up in his general direction resulting in a beaming smile from the pair of them.

“Hi, I’m Daniel. I’m new here and Belle over there told me to come and say hello to you both. I hope I’m not interrupting anything?” Dan bites his lip and cringes as he speaks. He knows he’s being weird about it because even if he was interrupting anything, witches aren’t going to be rude about it and tell him to bugger off. They’re just going to pleasantly smile and allow him to get involved, only to return to the conversation where they had left off much later when they can see fit.

“Hi, Daniel. I’m Phil and this is Elizabeth. You aren’t interrupting anything please don’t think that!” Phil smiles as he gladly takes Dan’s head before removing the contact to pat his hand down in a space next to him. Dan happily accepts the invitation and chuckles as he bends down to sit in the gap they have both made for him. “We were just talking about the Malkin Tower incident.”

“Yeah did you hear about it? Must have been awful,” Elizabeth mutters in response to Phil but keeping her eye contact directly onto Dan. Nice pleasant witchy manners for you.

“No,” Dan shrugs. “I haven’t actually. I’m new here. New to town. I don’t know anything?”

“In April, a bunch of witches were arrested and murdered after a meeting at Malkin Tower a few towns away. There are talks about demolishing the houses that the witches owned there.”

“Oh,” Dan swallows. He didn’t expect the criticisms of witches to be so dangerous here. He expected some but Lancaster is _safe for witches_ , right? “That’s terrible. I’m so sorry.”

“No need to apologise, Daniel. It’s not like you were one of the people who ratted them out,” Elizabeth laughs as she pats his knee with her hand innocently and absentmindedly. She is quick to return it to her own lap though. It is the seventeenth century, after all, touching regardless of sexual attraction is definitely ill-mannered.

“It’s awful. Lancaster is known as a haven for witches and this happens.”

“I know, but what can you do? The entire country is attacking us lately. We can’t catch a break.”

“What do you think, Daniel?”

“Oh uh, I agree. It’s like we can't escape.”

“What happened with you anyway? You’re here alone so I assumed you escaped somewhere.”

“Wokingham.”

“Oh,” Dan watches as Phil cringes like everyone else does like everyone else knows way more about the situation than Dan does. But then he watches as Phil’s face changes into something he can’t quite understand – eyes full of adoration and something he can't pinpoint emotion wise. “I’m sorry, Daniel.”

“Call me Dan.”

“I’m sorry, Dan,” Phil repeats as he places his hand on Dan’s knee in a similar way that Elizabeth did just a few moments ago but something changes. Dan feels a shoot of electricity jump through his entire being. Surely, he isn’t the only one who feels it and maybe that’s why Phil jolts away from the way he does. “I’m sorry you had to go through that, but you are here now. You’re safe.”

Elizabeth hums as she watches the encounter. At least, Dan thinks she is watching. He isn’t really taking his eyes off of Phil because those eyes... Those eyes are otherworldly. He’d blame witchy powers, but he knows they can't change their eye colours and how Phil’s eyes have beaming lights of green, yellow and blue can’t be magic. They must be his real eyes and somehow that even more intense for Dan.

There are a few bounds of silence before Elizabeth begins to stand up. He expects them both to follow suit but it’s only Elizabeth who dusts off her hands and smiles at them both. “I’m going to catch up with Belle. I’ll see you both around? I assume the goddess meeting in a few days?”

Phil nods and Dan hums, suddenly deciding that he is going to go to the goddess meeting because Phil seems to go. He can't explain it but he feels pulled to whatever Phil does like Phil has cast a love spell on him here and then. Dan knows he hasn’t.

“So, come here often?”

Phil giggles in response and Dan wants to mentally slap himself in the face for being such an idiot. He can’t help being a stuttering mess.

“It’s my coven, Dan, of course, I come here.”

“I know, I’m such an idiot. I can’t speak to people to save my life,” Dan groans as he drops his head into his hands in shame. He doesn’t have a second to process what is happening because he feels a hand wrap around his wrist and pulls it away, resulting in his head lifting up in confusion.

“It’s okay, it was funny,” Phil giggles as he doesn’t make any effort to remove his hand from Dan’s wrist. He just leaves it there. And Dan feels nothing but a tingle radiating through his body as a result of it all.

“Was it?” Dan chuckles slightly as he tries to recover from the blushing, he knows his face is doing right now. That isn’t helping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> citrine - carrying the power of the sun, it is warm and comforting, energizing and life-giving. normally used for protection
> 
> black tourmaline - a protective stone which repels and blocks out negative energies and attacks
> 
> eclectic - a pathway in Wicca that means the witch doesn't follow any one specific pathway and takes little bits of each to form their own
> 
> faery witch - emphasises the Fae such as faeries elves pixies etc, which is drawn from Irish mythology
> 
> green witch - this pathway focuses on nature, a love of gardening and are usually dedicated eco people
> 
> horned god - one of the deities in Wicca. you don't HAVE to worship them. is associated with nature, wilderness, sexuality, hunting, and the life cycle.
> 
> mother goddess - one of the deities in Wicca. again, you don't have to worship a deity. is a personification of motherhood and sometimes referred to as mother earth?


	3. Chapter 3

Dan leaves the town hall with a fuzzy heart and a somewhat clear head. It wasn’t too bad, he thinks to himself, as he walks along the road back home kicking a few stones here and there with his feet. He truly could spend the rest of his life with that coven.

He spent the majority of his time with Phil who he quickly drew accustom to, far more quickly than he thought he would with anyone in an unfamiliar coven. He found out that Phil has an utterly adorable cat (Phil’s words, not Dan’s – how would Dan know what Phil’s cat looks like and if it is actually deemed _utterly adorable_?) as a familiar that Phil had promised Dan would meet super soon.

Not that they have planned any times to meet up at one another house anytime soon. Whilst Wicca is fairly accepting of all sexualities and however, you want to represent yourself, the outside world isn’t. Visiting each other without no necessary reason would have left questions, especially if someone saw Dan enter Phil’s home, spend hours there to leave late at night all alone. That would be a cause for concern for some people even if it shouldn’t be anyone’s business but their own.

Besides, Dan is still ninety nine per cent sure that Phil and Elizabeth are more than just friends. Not that he asked. He wouldn’t dare. But he caught a vibe from the way they looked at each other and no matter how Phil looked at Dan, nothing was going to happen there. Dan could dream.

Truthfully, Dan didn’t think he would have as much fun in a completely new coven as he did with the coven of Bramble Root. He can tell that he has potentially made friends for life here. Annika is a lovely person and obviously so is Phil. He didn’t speak much to anyone else partially because of nerves and also because he may have accidentally spent too much time laughing and joking with Phil.

He loves Elizabeth already too, telling that she’s the type of person that his own mother would have loved to have as a daughter if they had an opportunity to have one.

He thinks back to the conversation he had had with Phil and tries not to cringe about how embarrassing it was.

_“So, come here often?”_

_“It’s my coven, Dan, of course, I come here.”_

_“I know, I’m such an idiot. I can’t speak to people to save my life.”_

_“It’s okay, it was funny.”_

_“Was it?”_

_“You are funny.”_

_“I don’t think so.”_

_“Hm, I’ll be the judge of that.”_

_“And?”_

_“You may be my new favourite.”_

You may be my new favourite, rings throughout Dan’s entire being. It was a half assed compliment but Dan can’t help but take it to heart.

  
Is it even worthy of that? Maybe not. But it makes all the blood vessels in Dan’s face rise to the surface and his breathing stammer a little bit. Definitely an issue Dan needs to work on if he wants to stay in this coven for long. Rule number one of any guy code is to not hit on your friends who aren’t single, Dan should know.

Making his way back to his cottage and closing the front door behind himself, he sighs against the wood as he realises how much of a big day it had actually been. It wouldn’t have been for a usual person because joining into a coven isn’t that much of a big deal. Dan can’t deny that he does have some trauma and anxiety surrounding getting attached to a new coven though – all with obvious reasoning.

He knows that his family would want this for him, but he can’t help but feel guilty for wanting it for himself too. He should be mourning – or should he? He isn’t sure – but instead, he’s thinking about what how good his new coven is. Maybe his family would have loved to join as much as he is?

He pushes himself back off the wooden door and makes his way up to his bedroom, not really thinking much as he unbuttons his shirt and drops his clothes on the floor, up the stairs along the way. He can clean that up in the morning when he wakes up.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Dan wakes up to a jolt and the echoes of screaming around him. They could be coming from the same house he is in just as much as they could be coming from three doors down. He isn’t sure. They are just so piercing and loud that he can’t mistake them for sheer terror.

Ignoring the sounds of screeching coming through the cement walls entirely, there’s a distinct smell of burning. Wood burning. Wood burning really close to home.

He jumps out of his bed and grabs his candle from his bedside table, planning to run into the lounge come kitchen area of his home to light the candle with the log fire. Obviously, he can’t fucking light a candle from thin air. He can do magic but not _that_ kind of magic.

He thinks he’s going to make it to the lounge but that’s until the piercing screams get louder. And louder. And louder. Until they are literally in the same room as him.

He watches as his mother comes running towards him, hair a mess and dressing gown ripped to shreds. He can’t look much better though.

“Darling, oh my darling boy! You need to leave,” she cries as she wraps one of her hands around his shoulder blade and the other hand caressing his face, running through his hair. It’s almost like she’s trying to memorise what he looks like, like she isn’t going to see him again and Dan can’t quite understand why. All he knows is that his mother is crying and his father is nowhere to be seen, and neither is his Grandma come to mention it.

“Huh?” he says, because of course, he does. He’s just woken up to sheer terror and his word turning upside down. He isn’t going to know what is going on, is he?

“Daniel, darling. They know we’re here. They know,” she whispers as she pushes him back into his bedroom and shuts the door behind them both. The screams not actually dying down now that his mother is quiet, maybe they weren’t coming from her.

“They know?”

“They know we’re witches, Daniel.”

Oh. That makes a lot of sense suddenly.

It’s not like they kept it a secret. Dan lives in a small village where he’s one hundred per cent sure everyone is a witch. He can’t be certain, but he doesn’t know anyone who at least doesn’t practise some parts of Wicca as he does anyway.

But how? How did they find out? They were here for years. For as long as Dan can remember.

He’s always been told that he grew up moving around Southern England, never staying in one single place for too long because they were always close to being found out. But then this Grandma found this place. Wokingham. Where they were going to stay for the rest of their lives – until now.

His face scrunches up before he can stop it and shows no sign of stopping even when his own mother uses her thumb to attempt to smoothen it out.

“Bu- Wha- Huh? Why? How did they find out?”

“It doesn’t matter darling, you just need to go.”

“Me?”

“Yes. You need to go!”

“Bu- aren’t you coming with me?” Dan whispers, feeling the frown line on his face growing and his eyes becoming blurry. He hears the screams becoming more intense as he watches his mothers face mirror his own, her own eyes becoming teary.

“No, son.”

“Why aren’t you coming with me? Pleas-“

“Daniel there’s no time. They already are looking for me.”

“Bu- where’s father? And Grandma?”

He watches as his mother lets go of his shoulder and his face finally and turns around to his cupboards. She pulls out a suitcase and an overnight satchel and begins shoving his clothes in them. Just his clothes. No one else’s.

“Mother?”

She ignores him. And he hopes to Goddess that he doesn’t know why. He thinks he does. He isn’t stupid but he can’t know for sure. And he hopes she doesn’t say it. Anything but that.

She runs (well walks but it’s still fast enough to startle Dan out of whatever trance he’s part of) to under his bed and he instantly knows what she’s pulling out.

“Wha- Mother? Please? Why are you packing _those_?”

“You need supplies, bear.”

“No I’m staying,” he almost screams, but he remembers he’s meant to be quiet (he isn’t sure but his mother is whispering so maybe he is meant to be too?) “You can’t make me leave.”

“Daniel, I don’t want you to either. But you must. For us.”

“Why?

“Daniel. It’s serious,” his mother stands up, after zipping closed his one suitcase and his overnight bag after she lets out an exhale. “If you stay, what will it all be for? Huh? All the hard work your father and I put into caring for you and making sure you were safe will all be in vain.”

“N-“

“Because if you stay, I can’t guarantee your safety and I don’t want to live with that. You need to go.”

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Waking up from a flashback dream puts Dan in a way different mood than he went to sleep in. He went to sleep full of joy and excitement for what the future may bring him due to his new entry into the coven, the thoughts of his new friendship with Phil and the other witches (but mainly Phil) and the premise of a good future that he could be proud of, a future that he knew his parents would have wanted for him. But he woke up in a mood that he wouldn’t ever put on his worst enemy – not that he has one, holding grudges is a big no no for him and his family.

He should be grateful that he had all the opportunities and love that he got from his family back in Wokingham but it’s difficult. Truly difficult to even get out of bed this morning.

He knows he needs to, because moping around and feeling sorry for yourself isn’t true Wiccan culture so he jumps out of bed, when all he really wants to do is stay put.

He makes his way down the stairs into the lounge come kitchen area, wondering what he’s going to make for breakfast when he notices a rather large gift package on his kitchen counter. It’s nothing special but it looks full to the brim of goodies for Dan to eat until he has the opportunity to go food shopping. He really needs to thank her at some point.

He sees a small pre-cut loaf of bread poking out the top, amongst some peanut butter and what Dan assumes is a raspberry jam. He grabs at it and doesn’t hesitate putting a few slices under the grill before sitting down at his dining table to wait.

He takes a few moments to himself, thinking about how his day may pan out. Maybe he’s going to cleanse his crystals, especially the ones  
Dan sighs into his toast for a couple of moments until he realises that the banging he hears isn’t some kind of sick joke that his brain is playing on him by reminding him of some of his worst memories, and is actually happening in real life in front of him.

He lifts his head towards where the house is coming from, which coincidently happens to be his open window at the front of the house. He frowns without meaning to when he notices a long haired black cat banging their head lightly against the wooden window frame.

He sits up from his dining table, leaving his breakfast half eaten out of curiosity. He notices the black cat's meowing getting louder as he approaches them.

“Alright, alright,” Dan huffs out a giggle as he stops in front of the cat, absentmindedly running his fingers through the cat’s fur, scratching along her cheeks and under her chin. He feels his entire person fill with warmth when he feels the cat pushing into his touch, so he can’t help but speak in a gentle but still high pitched voice, “Hello. Who are you and what do you want from me?”

Of course, the cat only meows in response but Dan doesn’t stop scratching the cat’s chin as he bends down to become in eye view of the cat. The cat’s black fur is almost impossibly soft. It shouldn’t be allowed but here it is, in front of Dan with fur that feels like it’s been drowned in bottles upon bottles of rosemary oil.

It’s when he bends down to look at the cat's eye’s – which are impossibly cute all on their own, how can a cat have one yellow eye and one silver eye? How can you get away with that? – that he notices a rolled-up piece of paper tied to the cat’s collar with a small red ribbon.

“Is this for me?” Dan asks, still in the high pitched voice because he can’t not speak to a cat, or any animal really, without adopting this voice. He takes the piece of paper, soon realising it’s a note with writing all over it and opens it up.

_Hello Daniel,_

_I hope this gets to you well and I hope Dusk hasn’t lost the letter by accident. She is a dopey cat sometimes, but she does listen so hopefully you get it._

_I just wanted to say I really REALLY enjoyed meeting you at the coven meeting yesterday. It was nice to see a fellow boy witch for once, it’s always overrun by girls._

_I hope this isn’t overstepping in any way. I didn’t stalk you but Dusk has such a special power in finding out where people live by just a short description of them – familiar powers, I guess you’re aware. Or not, I don’t know your life. But I hope you have a familiar, you deserve that in your life at least._

_The whole point of this note was to say I really enjoyed seeing you and I would like to hang out with you more outside of meetings if that’s anything you wanted? I’m not sure if it is and it’s okay if not, I completely understand. Just thought I’d ask._

_Don’t worry about getting back to me, we’ll see each other tomorrow for the mother goddess meeting. That is if you’re still going. I hope you are (:_

_Also, Dusk will be okay. She’s good with navigating her way back home. But feel free to keep her for a while if you want some kitty loving._

_Phil x_

Huh.

Dan can hear Dusk purring down by his feet and he can definitely feel her rubbing her sides against Dan’s legs, that thing cats do when they love a human. Dan would usually bask in the attention an adorable little kitty is giving him but he’s far too busy blushing and overanalysing the letter.

What did Phil mean by wanting to spend more time with him outside of meetings? Obviously, he must mean it in a friendly manner but Dan can’t help but hope.

He knows he shouldn’t but there’s hope there. A tiny bit of hope. A smidge of hope. It’s barely there but it’s enough.

Squatting down onto the floor, he sits and doesn’t have to wait too long until Dusk joins him in his lap, allowing him to nuzzle into her fur, “I guess you can stay for a little while, eh?”

Dusk does nothing much meow in response which honestly isn’t surprising, but Dan accepts it.

“What does your daddy want from me? Do you know the answers? Of course, you don’t you’re a cat.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i didn't want to feed into the witches x black cats trope but i couldn't help but write dnp with cats i'm sorry ;__________;
> 
> i don't think there's anything i need to clear up in this chapter but let me know! ill add it here if anyone comments :3
> 
> i hope you're all being safe right now <3 have you done anything fun in quarantine? ive wrote far too many plans for fics that i probably will never end up writing which is always fun, and spent my entire time procrastinating my uni assignments so that's how my lockdown is working out for me lol


	4. Chapter 4

The morning of the meeting for Mother Earth swings by far too quickly. Not that Dan really minds. He wants to see Phil again, but he wouldn’t admit that to anyone even if they paid him.

The days in between getting the note from Phil via carrier cat (a term Dan coined himself and thus laughed over how funny he is for hours afterwards) and the next meeting were pretty uneventful but Dan still managed to think about Phil throughout them.

Preparing his oatmeal with almond milk and eating breakfast – Phil. Cleansing his crystals in preparation for the day ahead – Phil. Praying at his altar for his prayers – Phil. I wonder how Phil is doing? Making a simple lunch – I wonder what Phil is having for lunch. Taking a midday nap – I wonder if Phil works and doesn’t have time for naps? Preparing dinner – I think Phil would like this meal.

The fact Dan only really had an hours worth of a conversation means little to nothing to him because let’s be real the conversation was enough to make Dan instantly attached.

He’s always been like that. Always attaching himself to the first person who shows him the littlest amount of attention, but that’s okay because isn’t everyone like that? It’s not _wrong_ to glue yourself onto someone who treats you how you’re supposed to be treated – even if you only know that from a handful of conversations.

Dan wastes the day doing absolutely nothing in particular, still thinking of Phil throughout the day, until it soon approaches his time to leave. He bathes in the bathtub for far longer than necessary. He all but literally drowns himself in his favourite scent of vanilla and rose oil before putting on a basic white button-up shirt tucked into a pair of dark brown corduroy trousers, not completely tucked though so a one-half of the shirt overhangs.

He floofs his hair a little in the mirror. It’s worthy of a wash and maybe if he is trying to impress someone _no one in particular definitely not_ this evening then maybe he should have washed it clean, but it wasn’t washing day and _honestly_ washing curls is a hazard waiting to happen. He doesn’t have access to his haircare, having left it back in Wokingham and not repurchased it yet, so washing just means he turns into even more of a frizz ball than usual.

He makes it into the hallway, looking in the mirror one last time because he is a weak and flawed human being come witch who needs to get his appearance before leaving the house. He floofs his hair one last time, making sure his fringe is as perfect as can be before he steps outside into the cold air.

Again, it’s cold for June but Dan can’t complain because he prefers the cold weather naturally. The months October through January have always been his favourite time of the year and that’s not just because they hold Dan’s favourite sabbats. It’s also mainly because he gets to bring out his cosy sweaters and dress more like himself – leaving the house in just a shirt isn’t a usual need or want for Dan.

He makes it to the meeting place with minimal accidents. Not that Dan planned to have any, but it is Dan, he is bound to have some being himself.

He turns around the corner and sees the town hall but instead of it being a ghost town outside, he sees Phil. Dan’s being almost leaves his entire body and he struggles to breathe for a minute.

Phil’s dressed in nothing special, if Dan was wearing it he wouldn’t look as pretty as Phil does right now. He’s wearing a black button-up but it isn’t plain and much rather patterned with little gold stars glittered around his entire top half. It’s tucked into the skinniest pair of black trouser that Dan thinks he’s ever seen with black leather bracers keeping them up, crisscrossed over his back.

He’s wearing his black-rimmed glasses again and Dan can’t manage to tear his eyes away. Except he can, because why was Phil outside?

He steps towards him, closing any remaining gap because Dan is accidentally far too close for any two men to be right now, and follows Phil’s gaze, “What are you looking at?”

Phil doesn’t even look startled by Dan’s sudden approach and if he is, he didn’t act on it. He smiles lightly whilst Dan speaks and Dan tries not to think too much into that.

“The moon, Dan.”

Dan realises now that’s obviously where Phil’s gaze is at. It’s a full moon today, and that means a lot of things for witches – mainly new beginnings and positive changes, a time to set new goals and introduce yourself to a new environment. It’s fitting that there’s a full moon today. Phil tears his eyes away from the moon for a second and locks eyes with Dan. Dan has to do everything in his power to not cave there and then and do what his heart wants the most.

“Do you like the moon?” Phil whispers as he turns back to look at it again. Dan can’t comprehend how cute Phil looks staring at something he can never truly have with admiration, maybe that’s what Dan looks like right now too.

“Yes,” Dan matches Phil’s pitch, maybe even a little quieter to hide the nerves.

“It’s so pretty. It means so much to me,” Phil continues, still smiling at the night sky above him. “I know I’m eclectic but I could easily convert to lunar witchcraft if I wanted to. It’s just so beautiful.”

Dan doesn’t take his eyes off of the side of Phil’s face when he just nods and whispers a “Yeah” in response.

“Maybe I’ll move to the moon one day.”

“Phil, don’t you think you’re aiming a bit high in the sky there?”

Phil rolls his eyes as he turns to look at Dan again. Dan swears there’s nothing as special as Phil looking away from the object he seemingly adores to look at Dan whilst he speaks, “That’s the whole point.”

They stand in silence for a while. Maybe a couple of seconds, maybe a few minutes, Dan isn’t sure but he quite enjoys standing there with Phil looking at the moon.

Dan does agree that the moon is quite pretty. He’s always found the moon pretty, even as a little child when first introduced to Wicca and lunar magic, he always thought the moon was something special. He doesn’t know why he is so drawn to the moon, definitely not in the same sense that lunar witches are drawn to it but it’s enough.

He just loves how the moon sits there quietly and is unaware of how important its presence is to the Earth and its people.

“Imagine if we saw a shooting star right now,” Phil almost squeals out of excitement, but not as much as Dan almost squeals when Phil reaches for his hand and holds it in his own, intertwining their fingers. His heart feels like it’s going a million miles per hour and his mouth is dry. If he ever doubted his attraction to men before now, this would solidify it. “What would you wish for?”

Curse Phil for saying something like that. Dan knows what he would wish for – for Phil to not have a girlfriend and to want him instead. He isn’t going to say that though. Wiccans usually are accepting regardless but knowing his track record, he would find a witch who is against everything Wicca stands for. So instead he says the only other thing that comes to mind, “I’d wish for happiness and the ability to be content with what I have.”

Phil turns around, with something new in his eyes tonight, something Dan had seen in his eyes on the very first night they met. He doesn’t want to say a fond look because he doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but it’s how Dan imagines he looks at Phil. He feels his face mirroring Phil’s the more he stares,” Yeah?”

“Yup.”

“We should probably go inside before someone sees us,” Phil whispers, not taking his eyes off of Dan and funnily enough, not taking his hand away from Dan’s either. Dan is not going to mention it.

Before Dan so much as responds, he is being pulled into the town hall by his hand, Phil in front and Dan close behind.

“You smell really good by the way,” Phil breaks the silence of the hallway with words that could make Dan swoon. “What is that?” He leans in closer, almost invading Dan’s personal space at this point. “Vanilla and?”

“Rose oil.”

“Right,” Phil smiles with his eyes and Dan can’t help but smile back. How could he when Phil’s eyes look like that and Dan’s almost dead certain you could go swimming in those eyes. He would give anything to test that out.

They make it into the room they first met in, but there are significantly fewer people this time. He sees Elizabeth, Phil’s friend (because Dan is denying any proof he has seen to call her what she actually is. Call him petty but it’s how he is coping.) and Belle chatting the other side of the room. He also sees Annika sitting in the middle of the room with what Dan can only assume are the ingredients for their altars tonight.

Phil lets go of Dan’s hand and Dan pretends to not be bothered by it but truth be told, he misses the warmth even though he thought he was perfectly content before.

He watches as Phil walks away from him up to Elizabeth and mourns the loss of that special private moment he got with Phil. It’s nothing major but special enough all the same.

“Hi, Dan!” Annika smiles from the floor in front of him and she manoeuvres her hand to suggest him to come and sit down next to her, so he does. It’s much better than just standing in the doorway like a bloody idiot.

He sits down in front of what looks like Annika’s altar for the prayer for Mother Earth. It’s not much different from an altar that Dan is aware of for general prayers. He sees the centre of the altar with an etched pentagram, with all of the offerings in the right places. He sees the North offering which is usually home for the “Earth” giving being a small bowl of salt. He turns his head to look at the East offering which he knows is for “Air” and an incense burner is in its rightful place. West, being “Water” and a small glass of water sitting in its rightful place. And finally, the South offering being fire with a small red candle sitting on a coal mat.

Nothing out of the ordinary for Dan.

“Do you know how to set up your own altar? I remember you saying you didn’t necessarily believe in the goddess?” Annika says cheerfully as she finishes the altar in front of her, placing the symbol for the Goddess in the centre with the pentagram. Dan is about to respond when he sees Phil walking up beside them, to a spare altar space.

“Did I say that?” Dan raises his eyebrows as he knows Phil is now listening. “Yeah, I know how to set one up.”

“Oh, I must have misheard or got confused,” Annika laughs, wiping her hands on her thighs before standing up. “I’ll leave you to it then.”

“Okay.”

Dan knows how to set up a basic altar and he can’t imagine that an altar for a goddess prayer is any different. So, he gets to work, trying desperately to ignore the burning sensation he has in his right temple and tries to ignore that that could be Phil staring at him. Of course, it isn’t.

Annika sits in the spare place opposite him and gets to work on her altar. She seems to know what she’s doing so he mimics her to the best of her abilities, placing the dagger just south of the incense burner and level with the red candle.

He quickly becomes flustered when realising this isn’t the best way to do this, noticing that he can’t actually see what crystals she is using and where she’s exactly placing them, and he should just ask for help but that would be too embarrassing.

He looks up with a sigh, and almost instantly locks eyes with Phil, who has a smug look on his face.

“Dan?” Phil voices and Dan’s eyes zero in on Phil’s face to see him smirking, eyes crinkled and all, staring at him. “Have you ever been to a Goddess meeting before?”

“I-uh-“

“Thought not. Do you even believe in the Goddess?”

“I- I’ve never thought about it actually. My family never brought me up believing in any of the deities.”

Phil rolls his eyes before standing up and walking to a halt in front of Dan and his part in the prayer circle, and sitting down next to him. Dan can feel almost every inch of Phil, with his feet placed so delicately next to his own and his thighs accidentally pressing against his own likewise. He feels nothing but warmth and Dan desperately needs to shake his head to remove the thoughts of infatuation that definitely aren’t needed right now.

Mother Goddess is known for strengthening your sensual thoughts but there’s a time and a place and neither of those are right now where Dan is, “Then why did you come?”

“Huh?”

“You came to a goddess meeting, and you don’t believe in the goddess?”

Dan couldn’t help but blush and he prays that Phil hasn’t noticed, seeing as Phil is busy helping Dan with his altar. Phil seems to notice Dan’s lack of response and doesn’t push so he chuckles and gently explains to him which crystals go where.

_The labradorite goes by the earth offering because it’s the one that’s as close to Earth as possible, you find it in the ground. Deep deep in the ground. I just remember it by thinking it looks kind of like a globe?_

_I normally put the rose quartz by the water because, for me, the rose quartz is quite calming like water is for me. I also associate water with femininity so it is nice to put them both together._

_I just place selenite wherever really because it’s good next to anything. Putting it next to the fire offering suggest it’s meant to help you access your highest self so fire and selenite match pretty well._

Dan tried to listen. He did. But he couldn’t help zoning out and thus staring at Phil’s hand. He never thought he was a hand man before but he now is.

It’s not that they are anything remotely sexual, they are just _so_ tiny and petite. Something that he wouldn’t expect from a man so tall. Phil is just a little bit shorter than Dan so he would have assumed that his hands would be of the same size.

Dan feels his entire face redden thinking just how desperately he wants to hold that hand.

“There you go!” Phil says somewhat loudly, or maybe just enough to shake Dan from his thoughts. “All sorted for you.”

Dan gains eye contact from Phil and can't help himself from smiling as soon as he sees a warm and welcoming gaze on Phil’s face, “Thank you.”

“It’s no problem.”

Phil soon shuffles back to his altar and Dan returns to staring at his own. Having a loss of what to do because truth be told, he’s never done an altar this way so there’s no point touching it and ruining Phil’s handy work.

Dan wraps his hand around one of the crystals, specifically the rose quartz, until everyone else is done and Annika speaks up.

“What does everyone want to pray for?”

Dan listens to everyone around the prayer circle answer Annika. He hears Elizabeth says she wants to pray for a good harvest, which Dan wants to roll his eyes at. Of course, she’s perfect like that. He hears Annika say she would love to find someone to love, which Dan can personally relate to. He hears a couple of other answers that he kind of blurs out of his memory until Phil speaks and says he wants his plants to not die on him again.

He has to muffle a giggle with his hand, well technically his shirt because he’s obviously pulled up his sleeve around his hand into a sweater paw, and he knows Phil hears him because he chuckles back.

“Dan?” Annika questions. “What do you want to pray for tonight?”

“A family?” he says with a bitten lip. He hears murmurs but doesn’t really pay any attention until he hears Phil speak up.

“Maybe you might find that here?” Phil says with a shy smile on his face, a smile that Dan can’t help but blush at.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

The prayer circle doesn’t go any worse or better than Dan thought it would. It went okay and now Dan’s just grateful to be tucking into some bean and sweet potato soup – courtesy of Elizabeth and her bloody harvests.

Dan’s sitting with Phil in the corner of the room, funnily enough, the same corner he first met Phil a few days ago.

“How’s your soup?”

“Good,” Dan speaks through a mouth full of soup. His mother’s not here to scorn him for speaking with his mouth full so sue him. “Yours?”

“It’s so good. The best soup actually,” Phil giggles as he places another spoonful into his mouth, maybe too big of a spoonful to actually warrant but Dan isn’t judging. If his mother was here, she would definitely be making comments about how it’s not manlike or polite to eat that much in one mouthful. “Want some?”

Dan nods but before Dan can so much as pick up his own spoon to test some of Phil’s, Phil is digging his spoon into his spoon and carefully placing it in front of Dan’s mouth. He raises his eyebrows as if to say he’s serious and Dan opens his mouth obediently.

Dan has two options here. The first option is to be incredibly selfish and take this moment as a moment to flirt. To be his most sexual self and use this to his advantage. Gauge the situation, see if Phil is interested. Or the second option, which is to be his usual flustered self and react like a fucking idiot and do nothing sexual of the sort and in fact, be oddly less than sexual.

Of course, Dan does the second option. His cheeks turn bright red. His heart beats a million and one miles per hour. His stomach feels like it’s literally going to drop out of his arsehole. He has to force his eyes to stay open and not close due to the contact. Everything the first option isn’t.

Phil obviously isn’t batting an eyelid. In fact, he couldn’t be any less interested in the situation if he tried. He is weirdly keeping his eyes locked firmly on Dan’s mouth and his own mouth slightly agape in interest. Dan would ask why, if he didn’t have his mouth full right now.  
Phil pulls on the spoon gently and Dan reluctantly lets it out of his mouth, somehow blushing more with the popping sound that his mouth makes when the spoon leaves. There’s no way in hell that this should have been this erotic but here they are.

Dan’s eyes dart away from Phil almost out of embarrassment and vulnerability for a second before turning to his face. His mouth twitches slightly, almost like he is going to say something.

But before he has any chance, Phil’s trance-like state is broken by the sound of footsteps approaching. Dan turns his head to see Elizabeth innocently smiling as she comes to rest of Phil’s armchair and then moving to sit on his lap after a few moments (or a second, time is going weirdly slow for Dan right now.)

“What’s everyone doing?” Elizabeth says, blissfully unaware of whatever the hell she just walked over and interrupted.

“Uh, nothing, just eating soup,” Dan mutters as he leans back in his seat, putting his own spoon full of soup into his mouth to aid as a distraction from the tension in the air. The tension he isn’t sure he is making up.

Phil’s head whips around to burn a hole in the side of Dan’s head and Dan swears he could have got whiplash from someone else's movements. What did he do that warranted _that_ look of disgust?

He turns around just as Phil’s head returns to looking ahead and he watches for a moment as Phil plays with his spoon in his bowl, almost distracted himself.

He doesn’t eat any more of the soup, Dan notices. Maybe he was done? Or maybe he was so horrifically disgusted by Dan’s mouth and bodily fluids that he wanted nothing to do with the soup anymore?

Dan doubts it’s the latter because Phil literally _offered_ to feed Dan but he can't help but question how weird Phil is being.

The meeting comes to an end and Dan watches as Phil leaves without so much as saying goodbye. He doesn’t understand but he tries not to dwell on it when he makes his own way home too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> labradorite - intuition and self-discovery. raises your consciousness and brings universal harmony  
> rose quartz - healing stone. compassionate and peaceful feminine energy  
> selenite - helps you access your inner goddess and communicate more clearly with your highest self. known as the goddess crystal. actually named after the Greek word for moon
> 
> speak to me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches) <3


	5. Chapter 5

A few weeks pass and a lot really changes with Dan. He becomes so much closer with his coven, more than he thought he ever would. He is really good friends with Annika. The way her brass hair almost shines in the light like honey being poured over flames, leaving Dan jealous of her hair and rather jealous that he was stuck with his dark brown messy curls. The way she laughs at every single joke that Dan makes helps a lot too.

Dan can’t deny that he has become rather close to Phil too. If he ignores how weird Phil acts around Dan whenever Elizabeth is around, it’s almost perfect. Almost because whilst Dan believes truly that whenever he and Phil are alone they act like an old married couple, they will never actually be that old married couple. For quite a few reasons.

The bickering they take part in that always ends up in a flit of giggles. The way in which Phil will never let Dan live without bringing up the fact he came to a goddess coven meeting. It’s embarrassing but Dan can’t help but not regret it when Phil looks at him with nothing but admiration and he especially can’t regret it when Phil’s laughter sounds like that.

He misses his old coven, more importantly, he misses his family. He misses how his mother would style his hair even morning hours before a coven sabbat because his curly mop of a head was apparently too crazy to just leave natural on special days. He misses how his father would sit in the corner, in his famous rocking chair next to the log fire, complaining about how long his wife spends on Dan’s hair and that it’s fine the way it is. He misses how his grandma would roll her eyes and mutter unspeakable words under her breath at her son for being an idiot and not realising how important hair is.

He misses it all but he can’t dwell on it for long because everything happens for a reason and he knows that. Whatever happened back in Wokingham happened for a specific reason to lead him to Lancashire. For a reason. Maybe the reason is that one of the most important Wiccan Sabbats, Litha.

Litha coven celebrations are very much different from traditional and regular coven meetings or any other sabbat throughout the year. Litha means the celebration of summer and takes place on the day that the sun is up in the sky for the longest amount of time and the day when the night is the shortest.

It signifies the ending of summer and welcoming the turning of the wheel and bringing the darkening powers and energies into the world – calling for the Samhain and Yule mainly.

The Goddess is now full and pregnant with her metaphorical baby and the Sun God is at the height of his virility. Even if you don’t believe in the goddess and the god, it’s still an important part of the wheel year because it shows the stark difference between the two halves of the year and allows witches (and other pagans) to realise it’s time to celebrate achievements and the turning point of the Wheel.

It’s one of Dan’s favourite celebrations of the year because of this. He loves the colder months way more than the summer months so saying goodbye to them in Litha is a good way to positively welcome the dark energy. It’s not that he _hates_ summer because he knows what summer brings the earth and thus, is thankful for the heat and those months, but that doesn’t mean he has to enjoy them. He’s a snug jumper and blankets in front of the fire kind of guy.

Litha celebrations usually begin much more later in the evening than other celebrations because they are for the celebration of the sun, so staying up all night to welcome and watch the sunrise is a must.

This is why it’s after sunset, much after sunset, on the day before Litha actually takes place, Dan is sitting on the edge of his bed in a bath towel.

Dan doesn’t hesitate to put on his best celebration outfit – high waisted corduroy black trousers and his black button-up with patterned white lace and skulls dotted all around – the Howell family heirloom that’s passed down the generations.

He all but literally runs down the stairs, shoving his feet into his slip on shoes even though they really underlook the rest of the outfit. They are comfortable and Dan knows he’s going to need comfortable shoes today if the Litha celebrations at his new coven are anything similar to his previous covens.

He leaves the house with a spring in his step that he tries to suppress but he honestly cannot stop himself from being excited to celebrate Litha. And maybe it has something to do with seeing Phil again but he isn’t going to admit that.

He makes it to the town centre fairly quickly. The walk usually takes him the best part of half an hour but he’s blaming his excitement on him completing the walk in a little under fifteen minutes.

The breeze today is lighter on his face, meaning he doesn’t feel guilty about leaving the house in the middle of the night without a jacket. His mum would be mad but she isn’t here to tell him off so he allows himself to bask in the slightly muggy summer air, unbuttoning the top button of his shirt to cool down a little bit.

It’s when he walks past the town hall where they usually do the coven gatherings – obviously, today is in a different location because they couldn’t do the bonfire inside a building, so a forest would have to make do – that his heart drops slightly.

He hears the loud scuffle and the sound of people talking before he makes it around the corner, enabling him to stop and press himself into the tight space between closely knit trees and the wall. Not really a good hiding place but good enough that if the people in front of the town hall don’t look in his general direction, or at least directly for him.

Why are there people standing outside the town hall on the days that they usually meet there? He isn’t sure. But surely they aren’t looking for this coven, right? Surely not.

The watchmen are using their flame torches to check the outskirts of the forest, luckily not the same one Dan is meeting his coven at, but still threatening all the same. The one man standing by the town hall entrance, attempting to pry the door open and another man trying to peak into a curtain covered window to see inside.

He decides it’s better if he leaves the area immediately, not wanting to draw attention to himself being in the area they are looking for witches in the middle of the night with no other reason for being out other than being a witch.

He takes his feet to the pavement quicker than he’s ever moved in his life and keeps his head down, hiding his face from passers-by. Realistically, he is safe. He has to be because he passes half a dozen people on his walk through the town towards the forest. He can’t look suspicious when there’s _this_ many people walking around. He must just look like them, going about things no one dares ask that late at night.

Still, he can’t help but turn his head and look around for anyone following him once he gets to the edge of the forest, not wanting to draw attention to where he is going. If he saw someone coming this way, he would have easily just distracted them by not directly going to the meeting place – waiting to join his coven when the coast was clear.

Alas, no one is behind him, so he heads into the forest with no more hesitation.

This is where Dan just feels safe. He isn’t an earth oriented witch by any means but the forest just feels like home to him. Maybe it’s the summers he sent playing in the forests at the back of his house for years as a young child. They just feel like home even if those memories are kind of clouded by the memories of riding through on a horse with tears in his eyes and destruction behind him.

You can’t learn to unlove something as beautiful as forests and trees when you spend years loving it.

Dan hasn’t spent much time surrounded by greenery and trees since coming to Lancashire, apart from the small woods in the back of his garden, just to collect a couple of herbs here and there. He hasn’t actively avoided it by any means. He could never. But it just slipped his memories of something to do when he is anxious.

He used to spend time in the woods back in Wokingham crying about various things – when the girl didn’t like him back when they were eight, which is pretty ironic now when he thinks about it; when his friends forgot about his sixteenth birthday party and didn’t turn up even though his mother spent days preparing and especially every time his parents shouted at him for doing something wrong. It’s almost like he doesn’t need that safety net anymore and he doesn’t want to think too long about why.

He does, however, bask in the safety the forest brings, almost as soon as he steps in the grounds. His heart no longer feels heavy. His mind is no longer running wild with the anxious overthinking thoughts about the law enforcement hanging out around their usual meeting place – although he needs to remember to tell the coven that at some point tonight just to be safe.

He feels energy radiating through his entire body when he rests his hand against the girthy tree trunk as he walks past, feeling the edges and ridges bump against the tips of his fingers at the contact.

He can’t deny this feels like home for him. Like all he ever wants to do is sit in these woods alone and never leave, surviving solely off of the food that the forest has on offer for him and making friends with all the cute woodland animals. He doesn’t want to think too much about the idea of Phil joining him.

He finally arrives at the place they all agreed to meet and he knows this because he follows the faint sounds of laughter and the heat of the bonfire until the sounds become louder and louder.

He makes eye contact with Phil first, who offers him a small smile and a discreet wave. Dan doesn’t question it because he’s come to the conclusion that Phil is always going to be a little off with him around Elizabeth, which makes sense as she is his girlfriend after all.

He can’t help but stare for a few moments at what Phil is wearing. Phil always looks beautiful in Dan’s humble opinion, but tonight he looks jaw-dropping worthy. He’s wearing an oversized plain white button-up shirt tucked into black slacks but the slacks aren’t anything like his usual plain black slacks – they are covered in little gold glittered stars which reflect the bonfire perfectly.

He thinks it’s okay to stare because Phil is staring right back, with a small scatter of red covering his cheeks and an intense glare in his eyes. Dan doesn’t think anyone has ever looked at him like that before but he daren’t question it.

Reluctantly, he tears his gaze away from Phil leaving him with a wide smile that shows in his eyes and the next person he lays sight on is his next closest friend Annika. She’s standing next to the bonfire, opposite side to Phil, wearing a simple but elegant black maxi dress. It doesn’t have much to offer but she’s wearing it well.

It’s almost like she senses his arrival because she turns around, a huge smile on her face, and comes up to him running, holding the sides of her dress as she does so.

“Hi,” he says as he wraps his arms around Annika’s shoulders and squeezes her tightly. He doesn’t let go until she all but literally shoves him off. “You look really pretty.”

“You don’t look too bad yourself, Daniel,” she blushes before running her hand through her hair. He knows she means nothing by it, just like how he means nothing by complimenting her. They have this sort of mutual agreement that they are only friends and that’s all they will ever be – it started by Annika sensing Dan was queer. Annika and her sneaky sixth sense.

“I thought I’d tell you that I saw some night watch by the town hall on my walk here, I don’t know what they were hoping to find?”

“Yeah, ironically they seem to know when our sabbats are and wait at likely meeting places to catch us out,” Annika sighs, chuckling lightly at the irony of it all. But Dan can still see the worry and anxiety plastered all over her face.

“Is that why we meet up at different places for these types of things?”

“Yeah,” Annika smiles as she ushers him towards the picnic area. It’s a small table, clearly from someone’s home that they must have secretly brought through the forest in the middle of the day without any questions, draped in a simple but cute cloth covered in golden stars. “We meet up in different forests around here every sabbat and they never guess. We are also on high alert so don’t worry. We’ll know if they come.”

“I’m sure you’ll sense it,” Dan winks.

“Yeah! You get it,” Annika laughs as she diverts her gaze away from Dan’s face for a second, looking behind him and smiling. Dan turns around to see a new girl, or at least Dan hasn’t seen her before. Annika groans as she notices him turning, before forcing him to look back in her general direction. “Don’t.”

“Who, is that?”

“Can’t a girl have a secret crush anymore?”

“You weren’t keeping it very secret with your love heart eyes,” Dan teases, which only results in a light kick to his shins which doesn’t really hurt him but he isn’t going to admit that. Admitting it will mean she tries harder.

“What? Like you and Phil, you mean?” she raises her eyebrows as all of the blood rushes to Dan’s face causing him to blush heavily. She only laughs and Dan wishes he wasn’t anti-violence otherwise he’d kick her right back.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

The beginning of Litha goes down a treat, in Dan’s opinion anyway. Litha with the new coven is exactly like how Litha was with his old coven, and for that, he cannot help but enjoy it.

They have vegan buttermilk bread, thank you Annika for also being vegan meaning everyone makes the snacks vegan by default and some agave syrup cake. Dan probably eats far too much but he washes it down with elderflower champagne, so he doesn’t feel that guilty.

Maybe it’s the alcohol in his system but he doesn’t feel that embarrassed to dance along to old folk tunes in front of the bonfire either. Usually, when he was a lot younger, he was not allowed to drink the elderflower champagne. Vivid memories of his father tipsy on the champagne saying _come on love give him a little taste_ and his mother snapping back saying he’s only young and wouldn’t understand how special the champagne is yet spring to mind.

He never got to taste his grandmother’s special elderflower champagne, but this is the next best thing. If he thinks deeply enough, it can be his grandmother’s.

Allowing Annika to tug at his arm to walk closer to the bonfire, he follows her lead completely. Annika’s arms wrap around his neck whilst his hand finds her waist almost without thinking. He doesn’t know how he learnt to dance but he allows Annika to lead the way at least for now.

He pushes her back lightly to grab her hand instead, spinning her around to make her giggle.

He should be looking at how her dress rises and spins at the motion, but his eyes find Phil instead. He should be looking at how the gorgeous girl in front of him is smiling widely with her eyes. He should find her breath taking but Dan’s eyes can’t tear away from Phil.

It should hurt him that Phil is dancing with Elizabeth and whispering whatever, probably sweet nothings, into her ear but he still can’t look away.

The fires in the middle of their dance floor flicker and create a beautiful scene on Phil’s face – echoes of orange, red and yellow shining over his face and making his eyes glimmer. He probably doesn’t even know it’s happening. The funny thing is, Phil probably doesn’t know how beautiful he looks right now.

It hits him like a brick all over again, just how much he is attracted to that man.

Almost like Phil’s sixth sense comes into play (Dan isn’t even sure he has one but Phil swears he got it from his Grandma, so Dan has no choice but to believe him), Phil’s eyes dart away from the bonfire straight into Dan’s.

Dan doesn’t know how to react when he watches Phil whisper into Elizabeth’s ear whilst maintaining the eye contact. He definitely doesn’t know how to react when Elizabeth turns around to look at Dan for a few seconds before letting go and allowing Phil to walk towards him.  
Dan’s pretty certain he doesn’t breathe for the entire time he watches Phil walk towards him, with a shy smile on his face and his eyes not leaving Dan’s.

Phil taps Annika on her shoulder so she removes her head off of Dan’s shoulder to look at him,” Sorry Annika, can I borrow Dan for a second?”

Annika pulls away, looks at Dan with a smirk for a second before nodding and leaving them alone. Dan doesn’t even know where Annika walks off to because he can’t stop staring at Phil.

Without even noticing, Phil wraps his arm around Dan’s mid section to pull him closer before loosening his grip to just rest his hand there instead. Dan’s brain doesn’t even think about it when he meets Phil with hands on his shoulder.

He’s too immersed in the closeness of Phil’s body, trying his best to not trip over his feet to even notice how they are acting right now. He doesn’t even notice if anyone is looking if anyone _is_ looking.

Heart pounding hard and fast in his chest, Phil’s smile swishing in and out of view as he spins him around, the heat of the moment begins to crawl beneath his skin. He can feel all the eyes down in the cantina burn as they look upon them, stinging him.

But right now, he couldn’t care. He’s got Phil, here, and while his sobered brain might regret revelling in the intimacy of the moment, he won’t ponder upon it.

He giggles as Phil spins him around for the second and third time, resting his arms around Phil’s shoulders each time like they are supposed to be there. Like they belong there.

“I didn’t say hi,” Phil whispers in his ear as he rests his hands back onto Dan’s waist. Dan tries to ignore the burning of the delicate touch on his delicate skin. His shirt may have raised slightly from the playful spinning around, but Dan doesn’t mention it, and neither does Phil as his fingers graze the exposed skin. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Dan laughs, trying to not lose focus on their dancing. He watches as Phil’s mouth opens and closes and a blush scatters across his face like it was a matter of life or death that his face turned red in a few seconds.

“You kno-“

And just like that, Phil’s mouth clamps shut as he flies away from Dan. So they are no longer touching. Dan almost whines but holds back as he turns around to the direction of hushed whispers.

They are quiet but also loud enough for them to hear over the laughter.

“We all need to hide, now,” the voice exclaims as a young girl, maybe not much younger than Dan himself, comes into view emerging from the forest woods.

Dan doesn’t know what the fuck is going on, how could he? But it’s not hard to guess. The sounds of his friends frantically packing things away and Phil tugging at his hand to pull him away from the bonfire is telling enough.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone ^~^ i hope you've all had a lovely week <3
> 
> my week has been taken up by deciding to completely redo my animal crossing island and it's been a whole experience and stress that i did not need but i think i'm pretty much done now? so that's good :D
> 
> follow me on twitter at [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	6. Chapter 6

Their hands meet and light spills in a flood, like a hundred golden urns pouring out the sun but Dan doesn’t have enough time to dwell on it before he’s being dragged into another direction.

His brain is scrambled with the overwhelming nature of just dancing with Phil in such a romantic way and the elderflower champagne he may or may not have drunk a couple of glasses of beforehand. It’s all too much.

He doesn’t feel when Phil drags him a few metres away from the bonfire to hide behind some thick tree trunks but he does come back down to earth to analyse the situation when he feels an entire being pressed against his side.

It’s not the situation to gloat about. It’s not like Phil is willingly pressing his entire body against Dan’s. He’s doing it so they can hide in the best possible way without being spotted. If Phil didn’t cram himself so tightly against Dan then maybe he would be poking out for the world to see and they’d both get caught.

Obviously, this is the only appropriate solution.

Dan decides to not look to the left of him where there’s a space still hidden by the tree trunk. That doesn’t exist. There’s no other option than to be touching Phil with every part of his body. That’s the only way here. And he knows that he’s going to eat anyway at himself when he’s sober realising he took advantage of this situation.

He doesn’t have time to think about that right now though, the pangs in his chest and the heavy beating of his heart is more than enough to distract him.

Suddenly the trees he used to write home about their safety don’t speak the same way to him. He feels the complete opposite of safety right now as he hears branches snapping and the sound of murmurs emerging out of the forest into the clearing, where they had the gathering.

“Is anyone here?” one of the men coming into the clearing says, voice clear as day like he has nothing to hide. Dan peaks his head away from behind the tree trunk, probably a risky move but that doesn’t stop him, and he knew he recognised the voice.

It’s one of the watchmen that he saw waiting outside of the town hall, but he isn’t with the same group of people he saw him with earlier. Maybe this isn’t linked. Dan hopes to goddess it isn’t linked.

He feels the guilt piling up in his body, starting from his toes and rising quickly to the tip of his head. This is his fault. He should have mentioned this to someone properly. Told them the risks. Yes, he mentioned it briefly to Annika but he should have made sure everyone was properly aware. This is his fault.

“Obviously, there’s a lit bonfire here. Someone was just here.”

“Witches,” one of the men, not the one Dan recognises, mutters loud enough for Dan to hear from a few metres away, picking up some crystals that were laid on the altar beside the bonfire. “There must have been a bunch of them celebrating one of their messed up festivals or whatever.”

“Maybe,” the man Dan recognises says as he walks further into the centre of the clearing, closer to Dan and Phil, which sets Dan’s heart to go a million miles an hour without any of his consent. He knows they can’t see them right now, even if they came closer because the tree trunk is far too thick that it masks both of them with ease, but he can’t help but worry. “We shouldn’t be here. Heaven knows what black magic they put on this area.”

“You really think they aren’t hiding around here?” The one says, the one who hasn’t spoken yet, and Dan can tell they don’t know what they are doing. He looks young. Younger than Dan. Maybe sixteen or seventeen, he can’t be much older. Dan hates that he was probably brought up hating on witches and Wicca without researching it for himself. He hates it far more thinking about the fact he can’t be educated.

The guy who is awfully close to them walks a little bit closer, eyes squinting through the darkness of the forest behind them. He lifts his lit torch in their direction as if that’s going to offer him any more visibility in the middle of the night.

Dan feels his heart drop into his stomach, and he can’t help but hold his breath at the sight, surely not making much noise but far more than he would want to be making under the circumstances. Maybe, Phil notices or maybe he doesn’t and does it anyway, but the hand Phil is still holding is squeezed lightly. His thumb lightly caressing over Dan’s knuckles as gentle as Dan could expect.

He turns his head and finds Phil looking right back at him. Watching as Phil stares right back into his eyes, his own ocean like eyes piercing into Dan’s chocolate ones, he swallows thickly. He probably is imagining it when he notices Phil look down to his lips for a moment or two, licking his lips before looking back to Dan’s eyes again.

Phil’s eyes snap back at the sound of another voice speaking and Dan follows the gaze.

“I think they all scarpered.”

He feels a breath fanning down on his neck but doesn’t react. He knows he will remember this moment in the early hours of the morning, once he’s in bed and alone and free from the stress of whatever the fuck this evening has turned into, but for now, he isn’t going to think. He doesn’t think he deserves giving himself that even if he does bask in the soothing cold air causing the hairs on the back of his neck to stand on end, in a stark contrast to the scorching heat the rest of his body is receiving in more ways than one.

“Really? I can still smell them,” the other says, sniffing extra loud in the air to dramatise and exaggerate his speech. All Dan can think is to call out how much of an idiot the person is being, you can’t _smell_ witches. They don’t have a different smell from everyone else.

The other one replies with throwing their flame torch onto the altar which doesn’t have any effect instantly, but the whole thing bursts into flames a second or two later, causing Dan to jump out of his skin. All Dan feels is Phil squeezing his hand again. It’s starting to become a bit of a comfort and Dan knows he shouldn’t get used to it.

The flames grow bigger but all Dan can think about is the crystals on the altar melting – if they can melt. Dan isn’t sure. He’s never checked. He watches as something happens to them anyway, hearing the crackle and sizzles or whatever is burning burning, having to shake away how familiar this feels for him.

He doesn’t have long to process that before Dan is being shaken and his head involuntarily turning to face Phil again. He sees fear but not as much as he knows is on his own face right now. Phil’s eyes aren’t as bright as he’s seen them before and he hates himself for how much he is to blame for that.

“We need to go.”

Dan tears his eyes away from Phil for a second, forehead frowning, to see the night watch fleeing from the scene of the crime in the opposite direction. They are somewhat safe.

“What about everyone else?” Dan looks back at Phil, biting his lip – a habit he has formed recently without realising. He watches as the frown on Phil’s forehead deepens momentarily as if he is thinking before he sighs and grabs Dan tighter. Dan hates himself for leaning into the touch.

“Dan, they’ve probably already run for the hills or whatever.”

“We can’t leave them, what if the-“ He shakes his head, not wanting to leave his coven again. They need him, whatever for. He can’t just up and leave his new family.

“Dan,” Phil says sternly. “Look after yourself in these situations. That’s a number one rule.”

“I can’t do tha-“ the sweat drips down his face from the sheer heat of the flames now. He feels glued to the ground anyway, not wanting to leave even though he swears if he stays a moment longer he will melt himself away into a puddle on the floor.

He thinks about the flames again, looking back in their direction. That could easily be his fate. That is probably what his family faced back home. Why is fire always associated with witches? Why can’t they ever catch a break, he screams inside his head.

“Dan,” Phil squeezes his hand to bring him back to earth.

“Okay.”

“Right, where do you live?” Phil says as he pulls Dan away from behind the tree trunk into the depth of the forest. This is definitely not the easiest way back to Dan’s house, sure he doesn’t actually know where this forest ends up but it’s surely a million and one times better than going the same way as the watchmen.

“Not far.”

“Okay, lead the way. I’ll make sure you go back home safe.”

“What about you?”

“I’m fine,” Phil says quickly, helping Dan guide the way by pushing him in a vague direction. Dan knows Phil doesn’t know the way, but the incentive is there.

“No, you’re not. You can stay at mine until morning.”

“Okay.”

Silence looms them for a while but they still haven’t separated their hands. Hands intertwined through the forest that Dan only a few hours ago labelled safe. Now it feels nothing of the sort. He just wants to leave and get home. Go home with Phil.

"What are you thinking about?" The voice sounds nothing like Phil except it is. His voice loud in the quiet forest, but Dan didn't dare startle despite the evening he just had.

"Nothing," Dan replies. It is untrue. It always is.

“You’re always thinking, so that’s not true.”

Dan doesn’t decide it’s best to respond.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

They make it out of the forest in one piece, not actually bumping into anyone from their coven along the way. Dan knows he should worry at that and he’s expressed that worry a number of times whilst walking away from the clearing and Phil’s told him the same thing time and time again in order to calm him down.

_“We should go back.”_

_“No, we should not.”_

_“Phi-“_

_“Dan, no. Everyone is safe. We didn’t see anyone get carted off by the watchmen. Everyone is safe. We are not going back,” Phil pushes his back to urge him to keep going, with the hand that’s still intertwined with Dan’s. They haven’t dared to separate just yet, even though they know they are definitely safe for the most part._

_“What if someone got caught once we left?”_

_“Then they would feel calm knowing none of us tried to save then and got caught too,” Phil always says indefinitely. Like he knows. Like he’s been through this situation before. Dan almost asks but chickens out every time._

_“How will we know?”_

_“We won’t.”_

_“Won't?” Dan turns around to look at Phil. Instead he doesn’t ever look at Phil, he looks somewhere to the left of him, never in his eyes because that makes him a little too nervous._

_“We won’t know until a few weeks have passed.”_

_“Why that long?”_

_“Dan, you really think we’re going to meet up as a coven again for a while? We almost got caught. We almost died.”_

_“You don’t know that.”_

_“What do you think they do to witches they catch, Dan?” Phil sighs every time and Dan never answers that question because, to be honest, he doesn’t want to find out the answer if his thoughts are wrong. He likes knowing that he isn’t sure what happened to his family back in Wokingham._

Leaving the woodland area proves to be kind of easier than Dan thought. They luckily walked around the town centre, avoiding it completely, and being a short distance from his cottage. Dan’s glad for that, not having to walk home in the awkward silence between him and Phil for much longer.

Dan leads the way, not forgetting to remove his hand from Phil’s reluctantly. He doesn’t want to let go but can they really get away with holding hands now they are out of the forest? It’s the middle of the night but people still potter about and they can't risk being seen. Dan mentally curses himself for not being a girl who likes girls because that’s a lot easier to cover up than a man liking another man. But if Dan is wishing for anything, he’d wish those same-sex relationships weren’t punishable by death.

Holding hands in public is a danger waiting to happen.

Regardless, he tries to not overthink the soft whine he heard from behind him when he does. That does not mean anything other than the fact that Phil probably feels a little unsafe right now and used Dan as a comfort just like he did with Phil.

Holding Phil’s hand meant nothing more than that, he tries to desperately remind himself. Phil doesn’t like him like that. Phil has a girlfriend as far as Dan is concerned and that means Phil may not even like boys.

“I’ve never been to this area before,” Phil mutters as they approach Dan’s cottage. It’s a little outside of the hubbub of the town so that explains why Phil may not have been around here, why would you if there’s only houses? The only people who would have visited this neck of the woods would be people who live here or people who know people who live here. “How long have you lived here?”

“A month or so?”

“Do you like it?”

Dan turns around, offering Phil a shy smile as he does so, “Yeah.”

When they get outside Dan’s cottage, Dan fists his pockets frantically in an attempt to find the housekeys. He hears Phil chuckling at a far distance behind him. He left Phil a few seconds ago marvelling at the flowers on his front lawn – the flowers that Dan didn’t tend to nor did he put there but he thanks the gods that the previous tenant did so he has something for Phil to look at.

It’s such a strange situation for Dan to be in, he thinks as he takes the key out of his pocket finally and unlocks the front door. Who would have thought that he would be coming home with Phil?

Obviously, it isn’t in the right circumstances. Dan would prefer if Phil wanted to come here, chose to come here, but you can’t always get what you want, he thinks to himself.

He ushers Phil in after a couple of seconds watching him looking at the flowers. Dan watching in awe at Phil looking at the flowers in awe, kind of funny to think what they both find beautiful.

Shoving off his shoes, he watches as Phil does the same awkwardly in the small area he calls the hallway. He could move backwards but he finds comfort in being impossibly close to Phil right now. He doesn’t think anyone could blame him after the evening he’s had.

Phil looks at him for a few seconds, gaging the close proximity they are in before giggling. He side steps away to walk further into Dan’s living room and Dan has to suppress a whine at the lack of contact suddenly. He knows he needs to grow up, they just walked through the streets at a valuable distance so he can cope with this surely. It feels different when he knows no one can see them so they technically have no reason to be _so_ far apart.

He follows Phil’s gaze after it leaves his to around the room, taking in all of the decorations that the previous tenant left here – Dan hadn’t bothered to make this his own yet.

The silence is haunting. Almost overbearing so Dan opens his mouth to speak, to just say anything.

“What now?”

“What do you mean?” Phil frowns, tilting his head to the left in confusion.

“Like, what do you want to do?”

“Oh,” Phil smirks, eyeing Dan up and down in a few seconds that Dan swears he imagines. “What do you want to do, Daniel?”

Dan never used to like his full name before. He only really ever hears it when he’s being shouted at or scolded by his mother for not doing as he is told, so he doesn’t really have any positive attachments to it. He can’t seem to mind it right now.

It feels intimidating, but not in the same way his mother used it. It feels better.

“I don’t know,” Dan says, shifting on his feet at a loss of anything else to do.

“We could sleep?” Phil voices, that annoying smirk not leaving his face.

“What?” Dan splutters, which only makes Phil cackle. Like actually cackle. It’s ironic how much Wiccans don’t want to match the stereotype that the general public has put on witches but Phil’s laugh sounds like that.

“Not like that, I mean sleep. Go to bed. Nap. Have a little snooze?” Phil lists off different synonyms of what he means hoping Dan gets the message. Dan does but his brain desperately holding onto the thoughts of the _other things_. “You know what that means right?”

“Yes you idiot,” Dan laughs, trying to ignore the bubbling anxiety about who is sleeping where.

“I’ll take the sofa? I think you said you only have one room?”

“Uh, yeah,” Dan says awkwardly. He tries to push down the thoughts of suggesting that they could both sleep in Dan’s bed. That’s too weird. That’s actually overstepping weird. Far too much for someone, Dan is trying to be friends with. “You can take my bed?”

By the time Dan has offered, Phil is already making himself comforting on the couch in front of Dan. He looks at home even though he is literally just sitting on the sofa and doing not much else, “No, this is fine. You’re already doing enough by letting me stay here for the night.”

“It’s the least I could do,” Dan says, tilting his head to allow Phil to see his smile. A timid smile, but a smile nonetheless. “I’ll be back, I’ll get you a blanket.”

Dan takes his stairs two steps at a time, apparently in a matter of urgency to get Phil a blanket to keep warm. Technically speaking, it is a matter of urgency. Dan has never had people around before, obviously having lived here for a few weeks and not really making friends worthy of inviting over for the night – plus people didn’t do that past the age of ten, it’s weird to have sleepovers with your friends when you’re meant to be an adult.

He rummages through the cupboard where he keeps all of his blankets and pillows, grabbing a large blanket (all of his blankets are large, they have to be to cover him properly) and a couple of pillows before heading back downstairs again.

He turns around, blanket in hand, and looks at himself in the mirror. It’s a habit he’s got into since coming here and socialising most nights. He looks gross, if he’s being honest. Spending hours drinking and dancing with friends to then conclude it with a steaming hot bonfire _explosion_ almost melting his eyebrows off, isn’t the best way to maintain your look in the hopes of impressing a boy.

Mentally slapping himself yet again for being bold enough to assume Phil would like him back anyway.

“Do not be weird,” Dan whispers to himself before leaving his bedroom and making his way back downstairs to Phil.

He comes downstairs to be greeted with Phil seemingly fast asleep on the sofa. Maybe Dan took too long? Surely he didn’t.

He shrugs, clearly the entire evening was tiring for the both of them. Placing the blanket delicately over Phil’s body, tucking it in at the sides to keep him warm. He feels like a right creep doing this but he doesn’t want Phil to get cold, so he tries to do it as quickly as possible.

Once he’s satisfied with how Phil is covered in the blanket, taking special care not to wake him up because it’s been a long day and Phil deserves to sleep as much as the next person, he turns his back and begins walking back upstairs, listening to the soft snores coming from Phil’s mouth getting quieter with each step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone! i hope everyone is safe and doing well? i didn't post last week because it didn't feel right given how upset and angry (rightfully i may add) the internet was about goings on in america. i still feel off writing but i didn't want to go two weeks without updating so here we are.
> 
> there's still a lot we can do so here's the carrd to the petitions and fundraisers if you can take a few minutes to sign them, they are really important. [blacklivesmatters.carrd.co](blacklivesmatters.carrd.co)
> 
> normal weekly tuesday updates will continue now i just wanted to take last week off, i also have two one shots to upload for dan's birthday and big anniversary so look out for those. i hope you're all well and have a good day/evening wherever you are in the world :D i appreciate every single one of you and you're so valid please remember that <3
> 
> follow me on twitter :D [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	7. Chapter 7

Dan didn’t get much sleep throughout the night, a horrible twisting in his stomach keeping him awake. He isn’t sure what the knots in his stomach are from but he can hazard a few guesses. On one hand, the overwhelming thoughts come into play knowing Phil is just downstairs sound asleep, sound asleep in his house, are almost harrowing.

He imagines the gentle rise and fall of Phil’s chest when he breathes in and out in his heavy sleep. The small soft noises escaping his mouth every single time his chest rises, the whines Dan was or was not fortunate enough to hear walking up the stairs just last night. How would he sound throughout the night? Could Dan even possibly get to sleep when he has the person he knows he’s gaining feelings for asleep right next to him? He begins to remember how soft and innocent Phil looked half asleep when he tucked him into bed, of course, how could he forget, it’s ingrained into his brain. How could he fall asleep when he had that to look at all night if Phil did sleep next to him?

He has to quickly shake away the thoughts of what would have happened if he offered to share a bed with Phil because that’s almost too much for him. It creates a stinging sensation in his stomach that he is all too familiar with when hanging out with Phil lately.

On the other hand, last nights events become more and more terrifying for him. It reminds him of too much. It hits far too close to home. Literally. He doesn’t want to think about home anymore, because it’s too much – it still hurts. He still hears the faint sounds of screams as he runs (more so rides) away on his horse to escape. He knows he remembers the final kiss his mother painted on his cheek, before seeing her eyes grow darker with sadness.

_”Daniel, go get your horse and meet me out the back again,” His mother whispers as she’s backing the remainder of his things. He isn’t really paying attention, but he notices every single item of clothing he has has been placed into this small backpack that seems quite embarrassing, to own that little, but Dan has always chosen the minimalist life._

_When he comes back to Earth he notices his mother staring at him, smiling almost painfully like she hates seeing him like this, almost like it is their last time being together. That’s because it is, and Dan knows that, but he didn’t want to admit it just yet. So instead, he nods and turns around to the back door of the house._

_He unlocks the backdoor with ease, which should be worrying. It would be worrying under any other circumstances. But of course, it isn’t because they’ve never had to worry about being invaded here, it never crossed their minds._

_He tries to ignore the screaming and shouting that only got louder once he left his home and tries to stick low to the ground to avoid detection. The smoke from what Dan can only assume is fire preventing his sight from working properly at this desperate time of need._

_Dan thinks that maybe if he was a watchman or a constable of any kind, he would have thought to first get rid of any form of escape that the people they are attacking have so they couldn’t… escape. But Dan is thankful for them being idiots and not thinking that far because he sees his horse tied up where he left her earlier that day._

_She whinnies upon his approach, knowing him all too well, and Dan shushes her, not wanting to draw attention to himself too much because that would simply be terrifying. He could never live with himself if he got caught and had to see his mother’s face noticing him being carted away to god knows where._

_He makes quick of his hands, albeit their shaky nature, to untie her reigns from the bar against the barn come shed at the side of their house, trying to not pay attention to how the wood at the back of the barn is setting on fire from the mess the watchman made behind it and the smoke that is so thick that he can barely see his own horse, before walking her towards the door he came from. As slow as he can because whilst he can quieten his footsteps, he thinks the loud clop clop clop of a horse trotting along the pathway may be a dead giveaway._

He shakes himself out of the haunting memories and leaps out of bed, feigning a positive energy that he can simply just blame on the amethyst he cleansed and placed under his bed yesterday morning, if Phil asks. And Phil probably will ask, because Phil notices everything to do with Dan oddly enough.

When he makes his way downstairs though, he comes across a sight that he didn’t expect to see.

Sure, he expected to see Phil lying across his sofa but he doesn’t expect to see the tiny little kitten with him. He can hear Phil’s coos from here that he’s whispering into the cat’s fur on the back of its head. It’s almost like Phil can sense his presence – of course, he can, he’s a witch – because he looks up straight away with a sleepy smile plastered across his face.

“Hi, sorry,” Phil chuckles before his head turns into the long, black fur of the cat in front of him, placing a few gentle kisses into the fur before using his fingertips to ruffle up the fur with a scratch. Dan can’t help but wonder if Phil would do the same to him and his head of hair. “Dusk can’t handle time away from me so she left herself in.” Dan steps closer, deeper into the room to be closer to Phil and the cat. _“Can you, baby?”_

Dan hears the name Dusk and instantly recognises it but his brain is too hotwired to stare at the lither of skin exposed across Phil’s collarbones instead to pay any attention. The small scatter of freckles across his shoulders that Dan desperately wants to play connect the dots with, but he snaps back

If Phil notices him zoning out staring at his exposed shoulder, he doesn’t mention it. But Dan can’t help but blush when Phil smirks and pulls up the blanket on top of him to cover his exposed skin. Dan knows he definitely blushes then but he hopes that’s at least something Phil doesn’t notice let alone point out.

“It’s fine,” Dan responses, at some point but he isn’t sure how much time passes. Phil begins to sit up, pulling the blanket up with him to see cover him, and ushers Dan to share the seat on the sofa in the process. Dan’s absolutely terrified to spend too much time, too close, with Phil now that he is sober – drunken memories of slow dancing together come back flooding his mind but he’d rather forget them for now, saving those memories for when he’s alone and sad over Phil never loving him back.

He sits down next to Phil, pressing their legs close together even though he just told himself to create a distance between them, before continuing to speak, “I wish I had a cat who loved me that much.”

“What? You don’t even have one at all?” Phil acts so shocked that Dan can’t help but laugh.

“Do you see a cat around here?”

“What kind of witch are you?” Dan hears the teasing nature behind this joke but he only hears his insecurities. He isn’t a good witch. He isn’t good enough.

“A bad one, evidently,” Dan means it as a joke as much as Phil was joking too but the croak in his voice gives the touch of what was meant to be a joke no purpose anymore. It doesn’t sound like a joke to Phil and Dan knows that.

Dan knows he’s being annoying because if anyone else said they felt like a terrible and bad witch, he would slam that thought process down so quick. There’s no such thing as a bad witch, because as long as you are trying, that’s enough. But Dan can’t help but feel a tiny bit stupid for keeping this whole pretence as a witch when he simply doesn’t think he is good enough to take part in the Wiccan culture if he couldn’t even save the people he loves the most.

“Hey, I’m joking,” Dan feels a hand on his shoulder, thumb stroking softly against his shoulder blade, and that’s enough to snap him out of whatever trance he was beginning to enter. He’s thankful because the moment his head turns around to look at the touch, he catches Phil’s eyes with his own and that calms him down instantly. He’s almost annoyed at himself for how much the softness in Phil’s eyes calms his nerves. “You aren’t bad.”

Dan simply shrugs in response.

“You are not,” Phil says, a lot more stronger than before. It’s still as soft and gentle, but it has more meaning behind it. Dan doesn’t necessarily believe it but he isn’t going to call Phil a liar when he looks like that and his shoulder is still burning from the touch there.

Dan feels himself release the breath he wasn’t even aware he was holding and he notices that Phil does the same. He really needs to question why Phil cares so much but maybe not the time right now.

“We do have to do something about the lack of familiar in your life though, Daniel,” the toothy grin that Dan has grown to know and love, maybe a bit too much but he allows himself to bask in it for now.

“Call me Dan,” Merely Dan being at a loss of what else to say in response to that smile.

“Okay, Dan. We need to do something about the lack of familiar in your life,” Phil teases, tilting his head to the side holding back a giggle. Dan doesn’t think he can look away.

“Hmmm, maybe.”

“Nope, no maybe about it. We need to go kitty shopping for you soon,” Phil’s hand leaves Dan’s body and Dan bites his lip to prevent a whine escaping his throat at the loss of contact. Phil’s hand returns to his cat on top of his lap and Dan decides to watch that instead.

“What makes you think I want a cat as a familiar?” Dan chuckles, running his own hand through his hair at a loss of what to do.

“You come across as the cat boy type.”

“Wow, way to stereotype me,” Dan fakes a gasp.

“Am I wrong?”

“You are not.”

“Good,” Phil chuckles, as Dusk jumps off of his lap and onto Dan’s. It’s embarrassing for Dan that he completely forgot there is anyone else in the room with them, that anyone else being a cat, because he’s been so distracted with Phil’s hand on his body and Phil’s smile that was put there because of him.

Dan can’t miss the fond look scattered across Phil’s face at the sight, even if Dan wants to pretend it didn’t happen. He just hides his face in Dusk’s fire all the same, “I knew it.”

“Maybe I just love Dusk,” Dan deadpans, hiding his smile in Dusk’s fur so Phil can’t see it.

“I feel like she loves you too.”

“Yeah.”

They spend a few moments on the sofa idly talking, taking it in turns to stroke Dusk. It seems far too domestic for Dan’s own good but he doesn’t want to stop it. He particularly loves when Dan’s hand doesn’t leave Dusk’s body quick enough and Phil isn’t paying attention, touching Dan’s hand.

The sparks that fly up his spine are enough for him to stay where he’s sitting, even though he’s growing incredibly hungry. Phil is worth putting off breakfast for now.

“What do you do when you aren’t at the coven meet ups, then Dan?” Phil asks innocently, wrapping the blanket around his shoulders even tighter. Dan doesn’t understand why Phil doesn’t just put his shirt back on, but he isn’t going to question – maybe that’s selfish of him to say but no one needs to know. If Phil isn’t going to put his clothes back on, he must be comfortable shirtless, and Dan isn’t going to be the one to force him.

“I don’t really do mu-“

“None of that, what do you do? I noticed an easel over there?” When Dan faces him, Phil makes the effort of tilting his head in the direction of the kitchen, blindly reminding him of his hunger pangs that he was avoiding successfully for a few moments.

“I guess I do art?”

“Ooo! What kind of art?” Phil says as his hand grazes over Dan’s. Dan looks back down at Dusk in an attempt to hide his blushing, but he thinks Phil has seen it if he’s awkward chuckle is anything to go by.

“I’m not that talented, so I don’t do portraits or anything like that, just sceneries I guess?” It comes out as more of a croak, like he hasn’t had a drop of water, or any liquid for that matter, in days. He should be embarrassed by that but Phil doesn’t pick it up.

“Dan what are you talking about? That’s talent!”

“Is it?” Dan blushes, at a loss of what to do other than that and hiding his face in Dusk’s fur but that would be a dead giveaway this time.

“I can’t paint portraits or sceneries, so you already are winning me on the artistic boss front.”

“Well, what do you do?” Dan picks his head up, but still deciding to not look at Phil directly in his eyes. He looks kind of south of his eyes, but not south enough to be looking at his lips even though he does sneak a peek at them every few moments.

“I work for the Lancashire News, it isn’t anything big obviously we’re just starting up but I like writing and this is as close as I can get to a full-time career here.”

“Lancashire News?” Dan does look at Phil this time, but he’s forgotten every nervous feeling he had prior because now he’s curious. Okay, maybe not every nervous feeling because his stomach flairs the second Phil meets his eyes.

“Yeah! It’s written by the people for the people, to avoid governmental censorship. It isn’t perfect because the government still checks up on us but most cities have a news outlet now.”

“That’s so…”

“Cool right?”

“Yeah,” Dan smiles, because he knows he isn’t lying.

“We could use artists to help make pictures to match what we write? We don’t have many.”

“I’m probably not good enough for that?” Biting his lip as he finishes speaking, because he isn’t good enough for that, surely?

“Nonsense. You’re looking for a job right?” Phil puts his hand back into Dusk’s fur and Dan doesn’t fail to notice how he isn’t hesitating to touch Dan now. He isn’t hating it but he can’t think straight with Phil’s thumb rubbing against his index finger every now and again.

“Yeah I gue-“

“Then it’s sorted. I’ll speak to my boss about it next week!”

“But Phil, isn’t that really rude to ask?”

“No?” He sounds shocked, like that’s a thought that hasn’t even crossed his mind.

“But you can’t just demand that of your boss? To hire me?”

“My boss is my brother,” Phil smiles, as if that information is obvious. It is not. Dan was not aware.

Dan goes to open his mouth to say just that when he’s interrupted by his stomach making a noise loud enough for the entire street to hear. He blushes awkwardly, not in the same way he was blushing a few minutes ago and his eyes fly from where they found safety in Dusk's fur to Phil’s humoured grin.

“Are you hungry?” Dan doesn’t think he can get over the laughter that comes along with Phil’s question.

“A little?”

“Dan, that tummy rumble was enough to wake up all of Lancashire, you are more than a little hungry?” Phil giggles which makes Dan blush more.

Dan opens his mouth to respond but his body has other ideas, deciding to force his stomach to rumble in the most aggressive way he’s ever heard. He never has breakfast on weekends, deciding to stay in bed for a couple of extra hours and forfeiting breakfast.

“Make us breakfast, Dan.”

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Halfway through breakfast, Dan is shaken out of his train of thought (and his inability to look anywhere but Phil’s face) by a knock at the door. It isn’t just a simple knock at the door to get someone’s attention, it’s aggressive and loud and more than enough to startle them both.

Dan hesitates for a moment, thinking it could be anyone. They did take part in a coven meeting just last night, maybe they were caught?

He just stares at Phil for a few seconds, but not like he was doing before, until he hears a familiar voice, “Dan! Please tell me you are in there!”

He feels all the tension leave his body as he realises the voice is of Eleanor, his neighbour, and knows he is going to be okay. It’s not the watchmen from last night turning up to arrest and murder them both.

Getting up off of his seat he walks towards the front door and unlocks it. Eleanor must have heard the unlock happen because as soon as the lock makes the noise to announce it’s unlocked, the door comes flying open and Dan doesn’t even have any time to react.

“Daniel! Why didn’t you come and tell me you were okay?” Eleanor all but screams as she pulls Dan into a hug. It’s kind of comforting, it reminds him of the hugs that his mother would give him when he came back from school upset.

“I didn’t know you’d know?”

Eleanor is too busy making her way into Dan’s living room area as Dan closes the front door behind her. She walks into the lounge, sitting on his sofa.

“It’s been the talk of the community, Dan! I can-“ She stops in her tracks, eyes locked onto the two glasses on his table. “Who’s here?”

“Uh-“

Almost like he plans it, Phil comes out of the kitchen into the lounge to greet them.

“Hi?” Phil says as timidly as possible, Dan doesn’t think he’s ever heard Phil that quiet before.

“Who is this?” Eleanor directs towards Dan but not taking her eyes off of Phil. Dan feels the discomfort from Eleanor’s piercing eyes looking Phil up and down, but Phil doesn’t even look phased by it.

“Phil,” Dan croaks out, blush rising up his face. “He is part of my coven and he needed a place to stay tonight, that’s all.”

“Oh, is that right? Hi Phil!”

“Hi…” Phil hesitates, obviously not knowing her name until Dan supplements it - _Eleanor_. “Eleanor. A pleasure to meet you,” he says as Eleanor has his hand in a death grip.

“I promised I’d look after you and I don’t know how I’d deal with myself if you got caught.”

“Eleanor, I’m fine I promise,” Dan feels the piercing dangers turn to him now and he doesn’t like that any less.

“Okay, okay.”

“Phil helped me escape, I was kind of in a trance. Too much elderflower champagne,” Dan continues, not really knowing when to stop. At least Eleanor’s lies have gone off of him and are casually scoping the room, equal parts between Dan and Phil.

“Maybe next time drink less, yeah? You need to keep your wits about you.”

“Okay, mum,” Dan rolls his eyes, tutting as he does so.

“Dan I’m serious.”

“Sorry,” Dan says because he is even if he doesn’t think it’s that serious.

Phil moves on the spot and Dan can sense how awkward this is becoming. Dan is about to suggest they all do something together, or at the very least usher Eleanor out so Dan can have Phil to himself. Eleanor is still eyeing up both of them, like she knows something more than Dan does and Dan hates it.

Instead, before Dan can jump to any solution for the awkward situation, Phil speaks up, “I actually need to go?”

“Okay,” Dan smiles awkwardly as he watches Phil pick up his keys off the coffee table in front of Eleanor. He feels even more awkward noticing the glare Eleanor has on Phil. He isn’t sure Phil has noticed but the piercing eyes are enough to make Dan anxious yet again.

He’s about to say something to ease the tension when Eleanor opens her mouth instead.

“You should come for dinner at some point,” she isn’t looking at Dan even though he knows she’s asking him. “I need to get to know you better been as I have to keep my eye on you.”

“Okay, I can make i-“

“Both of you.”

With this, Phil looks up in a confused state. Dan can’t gauge the reaction.

“Me?”

“Why not? You’re friends, right?”

“I mean, yeah?” Dan offers.

“Then it’s sorted!”

“Are you up for it, Phil?” Dan looks over to Phil, seeing Phil with absolutely no emotion on his face. Either he is good at containing it or he feels nothing at all, and Dan doesn’t know what’s worse.

“Don’t see why not?”

“Oh my goddess, it’ll be like a double date!” Eleanor squeals, not being able to contain her excitement.

“No, it won't. We aren’t dating,” Dan feels embarrassed almost instantly for the quickness of his response. He doesn’t dare look over to Phil.

“Oh, I was joking, live a little dan.”

“On that note, I need to leave,” Phil says awkwardly, eyes darting between Dan and Eleanor but the majority of the time focusing on Dan. Dan doesn’t miss the small smile that presents on his lips when he finds Phil’s eyes. “Dusk and I will miss you, Dan.”

“Dan will miss Dusk too,” he says as he closes the distance and bending over to say goodbye to Dusk in the form of light kisses on her fur and chin scratches.

“Just Dusk?” Dan looks up from Dusk for a moment to be greeted with Phil raising his eyebrows.

“And maybe you,” Dan teases.

“Good.”

Phil leaves after a few more minutes of Dan stroking Dusk and saying he will see her soon. He already regrets not offering Phil something more than a simple goodbye when he shuts the door behind him.

“So, Dan tell me everything,” Eleanor clasps her hands together and Dan groans.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you're all well? i wrote this chapter a few weeks ago now so i'm a few chapters ahead of you all and i'm really excited for you to read what i have planned for this fic :D
> 
> i still don't know how many chapters i have for this fic yet, it may be fairly long? but i'm enjoying writing this au so i don't mind. i currently have 18 chapters planned (not written) and the story isnt finished from that yet so to give you a good idea? it definitely don't be any more than 30 i know that much but it is really difficult to say when i have no clue how i'm ending this lmfao.. this teaches me to never write fics without 100% planning it all the way beforehand
> 
> there's a lot of things going on in yemen at the moment, so i'm going to link a carrd with ways to help/to educate yourself, been as this is getting little to know media coverage and yemen needs our help  
> <https://yemencrisis.carrd.co/>
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	8. Chapter 8

The next few days are pretty much uneventful for Dan. He spends the afternoon after Phil leaves speaking to Eleanor and trying to kick her out so he can have some alone time. She doesn’t budge until Dan promises that nothing is going on between him and Phil, and even then she doesn’t actually believe him saying she will get everything out of him one day. Dan just rolls his eyes and doesn’t say anything.

The rest of his evening is Dan trying to wind down and failing to do so. He feels far too hyperaware of his surroundings, especially now that he is suddenly alone. He regrets wanting Eleanor to leave but he also feels guilty wishing Phil stayed.

He spends the next few days like this. Too hyperaware of being a witch and being different for his own good. He needs to shake it off and he tries, he desperately tries. But nothing really works.

Bathing doesn’t really work because instead of being able to relax, he sits there stewing in his own filth overthinking every single thing about his life (even though this is his fourth time having a bath today he still feels covered in dirt).

Spending time with his horse, that he confesses to himself that he has wrongfully neglected since Phil entered his life, isn’t helpful either because it reminds him of what he ran from and that doesn’t make him feel any better. It distracts him from the Litha celebrations which he can guess is a good thing and what he was aiming for but it just reminds him of something else he doesn’t want to think about. He sighs as he strokes his horse goodbye, inevitably forgetting about them for a few more days.

Focusing on his Wiccan duties don’t really do anything, because they highlight the issues he’s trying to distract himself from even more so than anything else. How can cleansing crystals in the confines of his own home help him forget that crystals were smashed and burnt right in front of his eyes? How can praying at his altar help him forget that that’s exactly what he was doing, and celebrating the fact he does it, when the watchman ruined it for him?

It just doesn’t work.

He somehow makes it through the next couple of days with minimal breakdowns even though it’s difficult. He cries a few times but when it comes to the weekend, he has a record of not crying for two whole days and he is proud of himself. Almost a week since the Litha celebrations and it’s taken him until now to grin and bear it.

He’s standing at his kitchen counter, helping himself occasionally to a spoonful of whatever cereal he had available from shopping over a week ago – shopping is long overdue but sue him, he is mopping about – when he hears a knock at the door. This isn’t necessarily a rarity anymore because Eleanor has come by at least once a day to say _hello_ and leaves shortly after checking upon him. So, he just assumes that’s who it is, a little earlier than usual.

He leaves his cereal on the counter, not like he was eating it anyway, and heads towards the door. He curses whoever lived here before for not putting a peephole on the front door so he can check whoever it is before opening, because this is where the anxiety lies. Is it someone coming to kill him, realising he was there that night? Goddess knows.

He opens the door anyway, being greeted with an innocent and gentle _hello_ that sounds nothing like Eleanor and a small meow that _definitely_ sounds nothing like Eleanor.

“Hi? I didn’t know you were coming today?”

“Dusk left bad that you didn’t have a familiar, so she asked to come,” Phil offers as a reply as he drops to the floor to let Dusk roam free and heads towards the couch, dropping down to relax. Dan would have followed but Dusk has other ideas and decides to rub her back against Dan’s legs and Dan can’t reject that offer.

He squats down to her level and begins to run his hand through her fur, paying special attention to the spot above her tail that he noticed she loved getting scratches there last time he saw her.

“Just Dusk?”

“Maybe I wanted to see you too,” Dan can hear the smile on his face when Phil says this and that definitely doesn’t help the blush spread across his face.

“Is that right?” Dan allows a chuckle to escape even though he hopes that doesn’t show the nervousness in his voice.

“Maybe,” Phil sings, resting his head on the back of Dan’s couch to look at him instead of the ceiling and Dan suddenly feels so exposed sitting on the floor with Phil’s cat sitting between his legs.

He offers Phil a gentle smile before looking back at Dusk, because he fears that looking at Phil for too long will cause something he is too scared of. He wants it but he doesn’t know how to react if he does get it.

“So, are you just here to check up on me?” Dan speaks to Dusk but everyone in the room knows it’s directed to Phil.

“Why would you need checking up on?” He can almost feel the piercing dangers burning a hole in the top of his head but he doesn’t dare lift his head to meet them.

“Eleanor seems to think so.”

“Dan, are you okay?” The gentleness in Phil’s voice almost breaks Dan there and then but he swallows any self pity he has left inside of him, after a week of beating himself up for whatever happened both at home in Wokingham and at Litha he doesn’t have much left inside him luckily, he looks up at Phil for the first time since this conversation started. He hates that he sees pity and sadness written across Phil’s face.

“I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Phil bites his lip for a second, as if he is thinking about what to say next. “You know, we can talk about what happened at Litha if you need to? It’s not uncommon to deal with stuff like that, hence why I was quick to react and know what to do, but I know you’re not used to it so we can talk?”

“I really am fine,” Dan says, trying to place any finality into his tone as he possibly can, but he knows he fails when the last syllable croaks out of Dan’s throat and Phil smiles at him out of pity. “I’m over it.”

“If you say so.”

Dan hums in response, putting all of his attention back to Dusk, who is now lying on her back in Dan’s lap demanding tummy rubs. Dan doesn’t decide to question just how odd Dusk is as a cat, because usually, cats react weirdly to tummy rubs but Dusk just accepts it and purrs loudly enough for Dan to hear that she enjoys it.

A few minutes pass, maybe upwards of ten but Dan isn’t sure. The only thing that Dan is sure of is the fact he knows Phil hasn’t taken his eyes off of Dan for the entirety of it. He can feel it. He can feel the intense glare that Phil is giving him and he doesn’t know whether he likes it. He knows it isn’t for the reasons that he wants and that’s why when he does pucker up the courage to glance up at Phil, he is shocked to see Phil’s head tilted and smiling at him. Like genuinely smiling at _him_ , not at Dusk and not just a friendly smile – it’s a smile that Dan doesn’t think he has ever seen directed at him.

Just for a second though. Just for a small millisecond because Phil’s head snaps back to in front of him, not looking even a fraction at Dan and Dan drops his head again out of embarrassment. He doesn’t think he is as embarrassed for catching Phil as Phil is for being caught though and that calms him a little bit.

“What?” Dan chuckles after a little while of awkward silence. He doesn't mean for it to come out as a _wot_ more than it did but it’s out there and he hopes Phil doesn’t find it as aggressive as it sounds.

“Nothing,” Phil says as he scratches the back of his head, still not looking in Dan’s general direction.

Dan decides it’s best for his mental health to not question it.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

“You still haven’t given me a tour of your cottage and I think that’s so rude.”

They both eventually got over their nervousness and moved onto the cough together, more so Dan just got a numb butt and had to sit anywhere else but the hardwood floor beneath him. Also, Dusk began to become bored with Dan’s general existence and moved elsewhere, deciding to nap on the armchair by the fire that Dan hasn’t lit since he came here. He doesn’t question it, it’s probably cosy for a cat without the heat associated.

“Do you want a tour?” Dan raises his eyebrows in protest, from awfully close on the same sofa. He didn’t mean to sit this close, that he can feel Phil’s body heat through their trousers, but he wasn’t going to sacrifice this feeling of safety unless Phil didn’t want it, and Phil didn’t move away so Dan was going to take it for as long as he could.

“I wouldn’t dislike one,” Phil says innocently, with the same singsong in his voice that Dan has grown to know and love, all too well.

“Okay,” Dan sighs, standing up himself and turning around to stare at Phil with raised eyebrows. “Get up.”

“Now?” Phil looks panicked for a second, and Dan isn’t too sure why but the panic disappears and turns into a smile just as quick, so Dan doesn’t press on it.

“You asked, Phil.”

“Fine,” Phil makes an effort to groan as extra as possible as he could as he stands up to be right next to Dan. Dan hates that he loves the close proximity between them. “We can't be too long though, Dusk may get worried if she wakes up and I’m not here.”

“I’m sure she won’t miss you for too long,” Dan rolls his eyes.

Dan walks into the kitchen, assuming Phil follows. And he does. He knows the kitchen is nothing special but Phil asked for a tour so he’s going to get one.

“You know the kitchen right? I haven’t really touched it for a while,” Dan mutters as he looks around at the plain counters and cupboard doors. He wants it to be a lot darker in here but he knows he doesn’t have the money yet to do so, nor the energy levels.

“It’s nice, I wouldn’t change anything,” Phil replies, shrugging as he leans up against the counter. It makes Dan think about how much Phil looks like he belongs here, leaning up against the counter that Dan makes his breakfast every morning. He shakes that thought away as quickly as it came though, because he doesn’t have the time to allow himself to think about that.

“Yeah?” Dan replies, shaking away the sincerity in his voice as quickly as it comes. “I’m thinking about putting plants in pots across the windowsill, maybe my favourite herbs?”

“That would look pretty.”

“Right?” Dan walks past Phil, pretending for the sake of his already falling apart mental health that he imagines the faint hand on his back as he does so, and heads back into the lounge where they started the tour a few minutes ago. He knows they are both being silly about this, Phil definitely does not need a tour, “I don’t think you need a tour of this?”

“I think I do,” Phil teases, knocking his elbow into Dan’s side and Dan tries to ignore the tingles he feels there. This is torture, Dan screams to himself in his head.

“You slept here last week!” Dan squeals.

“And you didn’t give me a tour beforehand?!” Dan watches as Phil places his hand over his heart and closes his eyes in the effort to be as extra as possible.

“You’re insufferable.”

“Endearing,” Phil corrects him and Dan rolls his eyes without meaning to.

“Okay, that too.”

“Thanks, Dan.” Dan hears a difference in Phil’s tone this time, it’s no longer a joke to him. This is proven for certain when Dan feels a hand on his shoulder, rubbing circles into the exposed skin on his shoulder Dan didn’t even know was on show. He can't help but stare at Phil’s dainty but large hand on his skin and thinking about beautiful it looks and how much it belongs there.

In a desperate attempt to move this situation swiftly on, he makes a theatrical effort to jump up, accidentally shoving Phil’s hand off of him and holding back a whine at the loss, and holds his hands out to show off the lounge.

“This is the lounge,” Everyone, that being just the two of them, can hear the fake excitement oozing off of him. “This is where I lounge.”

“Wow! Amazing!” Luckily for him, Phil must catch on and responds with equal amounts of fake excitement that it’s almost gross and cringeworthy. “I can't believe I've never seen this before?"

Dan steps forward, completely leaving Phil’s side for the first time during this _tour_ and takes a look around his own lounge like he’s never seen it before. It’s nothing special really. An open log fire in the middle surrounded by a sad excuse for a couch, sitting on a striped rug with tassels on the edges. Dan’s altar isn’t perfect but it’s getting there, he’s just hiding it difficult to buy Wiccan equipment in a new city – his mother used to do it for him.

“My altar is there, not finished. And my sofa is there, you may not have seen it before.”

“Never in my life,” Phil deadpans, tilting his head with a straight face to look at Dan when Dan turns around waiting for a response.

Dan allows Phil to sit and look around for a few minutes, not that he needs to he’s been in this room quite a bit the last few weeks. He watches as Phil plays with a few knick knacks on the mantelpiece, a few family heirloom crystals that Dan’s mother packed for him.

Dan smiles involuntarily when he sees Phil look down at Dusk snoozing on the table next to him, and runs his hand through the fur on her head. She doesn’t wake but she does lean into his touch in her unconsciousness.

“You don’t even work how could you afford a place like this? I can’t even afford a flat yet!”

“Thank my parents,” Dan says like it’s simple. Because truth be told, it is. He’s lucky that his parents were wealthy enough to allow him a rent free life, he just needed to find a job soon enough to live day to day – hopefully Phil is going to solve that soon.

Phil insinuates that he wants to move on with the next part of the tour, with staring at Dan until he gets the message. Dan chuckles in mockery as he turns around towards the stairs. Dan walks upstairs to his bedroom, feeling his heart bounce in his throat because this is far too intimate. He shouldn’t be leading Phil up into his bedroom. That shouldn’t be allowed.

They make it into his bedroom and Dan shuffles awkwardly against the wall, allowing Phil to walk in properly and look around.

“My bedroom,” Dan shifts awkwardly. “It’s not what I want from a bedroom yet, but it’s getting there.”

“I think it’s perfect,” Phil looks directly into Dan’s eyes as he says this, a shy smile spreading across his lips and reaching his eyes.

Phil sits down on the edge of Dan’s double bed and Dan curses himself for thinking too much into this, daydreaming about this actually happen one day in different circumstances. He knows he shouldn’t be thinking about Phil in this way, what with him having a girlfriend supposedly as much as Dan can argue, but what more can a man do when the man you like is sitting on your bed?

Dan watches Phil’s eyes wander around the room and watches a smirk place across his face which piques Dan’s interest, “I bet you have a lot of girls here.”

He says this whilst winking and it completely stumps Dan. Did Dan not make it abundantly clear that Dan was not interested in girls? Did he do that? He thinks he did that at least. His heart kind of sinks knowing that Phil thinking as girls almost instantly makes his sexuality clear for Dan now, he has no chance.

Dan knows Phil is not going to attack him for not being attracted to girls, so he doesn’t feel any anxiety announcing the following, “Definitely not.”

Now Dan knows that he isn’t imagining the change in Phil’s demeanour when he closes his mouth. He can’t be imagining the glimmer in his eyes and the shy smile on his face, as if he learnt something that he has wanted to know the answer to for his whole entire life. It can’t be.

So instead of addressing it, he shrugs it off and begins to leave the room, “Yeah it’s not much.”

He doesn’t even make it out of the doorway before he feels a hand wrap around his wrist and his entire being being tugged backwards back into his room. Phil isn’t sitting down anymore and is instead right in front of him now, a blush scatters across his face at the close proximity of them both. He can count every single freckle across Phil’s cheekbones and can now finally see the colours of Phil’s eyes – a mixture of green, blue and grey that he wants to mentally bookmark in his head for later.

He feels Phil tug him even closer and involuntarily rests his forehead on Phil’s due to the force, but Phil doesn’t pull away so it’s almost like he planned it to happen.

Dan’s not sure how long they are just standing there but he knows he wishes he had the confidence to push them a little bit closer, to put his own lips on Phil’s but that’s obviously not going to happen. Because he isn’t sure what Phil is doing, and he doesn’t want to assume.

He feels Phil sigh against his lips, as if he’s going to say or do something or at least thinking, but before anything more comes of it, there’s a loud bang downstairs and an even louder screech in the form of a meow coming from the exact same place.

“Fuck,” Phil whispers, his breath faintly fanning across Dan’s lips making him gasp, before they are separated once again and Phil is out of the room quickly than Dan’s ever seen him move.

Dan’s suddenly alone and he doesn’t know how to process what the fuck just happened. What can he even say just happened? He isn’t sure.

He sits back on his bed at a loss of what else to do with his legs, funnily enough, the exact same place Phil was sitting a few moments ago. Before this all happened.

The truth is, Dan isn’t sure what exactly happened because nothing really did. His hands are shaking, his entire being is shaking and red hot. His stomach is going a hundred miles an hour and making him feel sick, but what exactly happened?

Nothing.

Dan has nothing to be freaking out about.

Because yes it looks like Phil almost kissed him but did he? Did he actually mean that? Dan is trying desperately to recount his steps before that moment and think about whether it was possible that he tripped over and Phil was just catching him. Maybe that happened.

All he knows is that he cant stay upstairs any longer otherwise Phil will genuinely think he’s being weird and question it. Dan doesn’t know how he would answer those questions.

He stands up on shaky legs, he’s sure someone has cursed him and made them suddenly out of jelly, but he ignores that starting to make his way out of his room and down the stairs.

Seeing Phil staring at Dusk with a frown across his face isn’t what Dan expected to see coming downstairs.

“Dusk we don’t do that in other peoples houses okay?” Phil is pointing his finger in the general direction of his cat and Dan cant help but let out a laugh, no matter how strained, that is burrowing in his throat. Phil doesn’t look up though.

Dan wants to make a comment about how Phil is treating Dusk like a human child instead of what she is, a cat, but Phil speaks up instead.

“We should go?”

That’s the last thing Dan wanted. Even though he is incredibly anxious, he does want to talk about whatever happened upstairs in his bedroom. Desperately wants to speak about it, especially with Phil.

Phil has a girlfriend? Phil has Elizabeth?

Right?

Dan doesn’t even know what’s going on right now but he doesn’t think he’s going to get the answers he wants right now so he lets it go. Only letting it go to the back of his head, to address and talk about much later when they are both together again.

The most annoying thing is that Phil still won’t look up. Maybe Dan was the one who overstepped and did something wrong?

“Okay,” Dan says using a cough as a cover up for how dry his throat is.

“Thank you for your hospitality, Dan,” Phil chuckles, picking up Dusk in one swift moment and heading towards the door.

“It’s no problem.”

Instead of opening it though, which Dan does expect of anyone heading towards his door to leave, Phil turns around, looking at him for the first time since whatever the fuck happened upstairs, and places his hand gently on his shoulder, “Bye, Dan.”

“See you soon?” Dan cringes at how hopeful and needy he sounds.

“Definitely.”

And just like that, Dan watches Phil walk away like what happened five minutes ago didn’t happen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi everyone!! i hope your week has been great?? ive just been eating far too much pasta and that's not even an attempt to be relatable... i really think i've ate pasta for every meal.
> 
> i'm also sorry for ... whatever that was. no spoilers but i can promise they will speak about it and everything will be okay i promise :3
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	9. Chapter 9

Dan knows that it’s overdue for him to visit Eleanor’s cottage to thank her, but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have to drag himself to do it. Socialising has never been his strong point. He tries but more than often, it never works in his favour. He’ll try and speak to someone and his thoughts just don’t come out through his actions and before he knows it, he crawls back under his introverted rock to never return again.

He still finds himself outside Eleanor’s cottage anyway. It didn’t take long to get outside her front door, because they live next door to each other, so he didn’t have much time to overthink the socialising that is bound to happen.

He can’t just say thank you and leave, so it’s almost definite that he is staying here for at least an hour and he doesn’t quite think he’s prepared for that.

He knocks on the door anyway, not really thinking anything through and waiting for the door to open.

“Hi, Dan!”

“Hello,” Dan offers, seeing Eleanor’s smiley face and no amount of anxiety in his system could prevent him from smiling back, equally as wide. It’s just something that Dan is unable to do, see someone he is quite fond of smile widely like they are happy to see him. And he became quite fond of Eleanor, she’s slowly becoming a mother figure in his life and he isn’t ashamed to admit it, even though the guilt oozes through him for somewhat replacing his birth mother.

But he is still young in theory, and needs someone to teach the ways of Wiccan been as he isn’t perfect and he has so much to learn.

“Come in, it’s cold outside!” Eleanor ushers him in and Dan doesn’t dare mention that it’s the middle of June and in fact, not cold outside. He’s standing outside in shorts and a shirt and overwhelmed with the heat, Eleanor needn’t worry.

Dan’s never been inside of Eleanor’s house before, he never needed to because Eleanor always came to his.

It’s no surprise to Dan that Eleanor’s cottage is exactly like what he thinks of her personality-wise. It’s homely, almost motherly. It’s very mature and if you were a witch yourself you’d know that it was a witches home, but if not, it just looks very organised and pretty.

Dan recognises some of the belongings instantly as things that he has in his home too, along with some crystals on the fire mantelpiece that Dan is pretty sure he has carvings off in the _welcome to your new home_ package Eleanor had made for him when he arrived here. He tries not to think about how emotional it makes him feel that she cut off some of her own crystals to make sure Dan had some when he arrived.

Other than that, her lounge looks very much similar to his own. Dark interior wood panelling, it must be cut straight off a walnut tree, on the lower half of the wall, contrasting against the off white coloured walls on the upper half of the wall. Instead of the log fire being in the corner of the lounge, Eleanor’s log fire is taking pride place on the wall, in the middle with a black mantlepiece covering it.

Her witches altar isn’t anywhere to be seen, as far as Dan can see, but Dan knows that Eleanor’s cottage is a lot bigger than his own so they probably have a whole separate room for their Wiccan duties.

“What brings you here?” She continues walking into the lounge stopping in front of the couch, puffing up the cushions on her sofa to make a home for Dan. Once she’s done, she sits down and pats him a space.

“I just wanted to say thank you?” Dan says as he takes his place right next to him. Almost instantly he realises the difference between sitting on a couch with a friend and sitting on a couch with Phil. Phil didn’t really understand personal space whereas, with Eleanor, there is a comfortable space between them, enough for someone else to sit really.

“For what?” Eleanor chuckles as she tilts her head in question.

“For being so nice to me, I guess?”

“It’s the least I could do, Dan.” Eleanor coos, putting her hand on his shoulder as an act of comfort. Dan would be lying if he said it wasn’t comforting, because it was _a lot_ but maybe not as much as Phil touching him.

“I know you were technically told by my parents or whatever but-“

“Dan, let’s just get this straight. I’m not doing anything just because your parents told me too. They only asked me to give you the key to the cottage, nothing else. I didn’t have to help you in any other way.”

“Oh.”

“Exactly so button it, Dan,” She laughs, removing her hand from Dan’s shoulder and running it through her straight blonde hair before putting it back on the lap.

Dan’s suddenly at a loss of what to do. This is the extent of his social interaction and of course, he knew he was going to stay here longer than that conversation but it doesn’t make anything easier. He simply laughs back and watches as she stands up, walking over to the other side of the fairly spacious lounge.

She takes a match from its box upon the mantelpiece before bending down to catch a flame from the open log fire. Using the flamed match to light some of the candles on the side of the table next to Dan, he notices that they have an awful lot of candles in their lounge. Maybe they focus a lot more on spell work than Dan does? Dan does dabble and thus has a few candles, but not as many as Eleanor and that’s interesting to see.

Being distracted by the actions of Eleanor, he doesn’t notice when another person comes into the room. She looks very different from Eleanor and he realises straight away that this is the said _wife_ he’s seen mentioned a few times, but he doesn’t miss the way the other woman looks at Eleanor and that confirms it.

The other woman makes her way over to Eleanor and leans in, to kiss Eleanor’s forehead. She kisses along her forehead, and then down to her cheek and stopping at her lips. Dan feels like such a creep watching this interaction, he knows he definitely should look away but he can’t bring himself to.

It’s not like he’s enjoying watching because two people are kissing in front of him, he is enjoying it for a completely different reason. It maybe isn’t even enjoyment. It’s jealousy. He wants that for himself. He wants the ability to do this with someone, to be minding his business in his lounge and for _Phil_ someone to walk in and kiss him. He doesn’t realise just how desperate he is for that contact and just how much he longs for it until he’s faced with someone who has it.

Eleanor’s wife comes to sit down next to Dan and Dan doesn’t comment on how it’s far too close for someone he’s just met. He doesn’t comment because he automatically feels comfort and safe around here, even though he doesn’t know her name.

“How long have you been together?” Dan asks, at a loss of what else to say but also because he’s genuinely curious.

“Oh how long, Lily babe? Too long?” Eleanor hums, a smirk attaching across her face as she turns around from the candles she’s lighting and Dan’s direction. She makes her way to sit on the other side of Lily, as Dan just found out, and wraps her hand around the back of the sofa with her hand stroking Lily’s shoulder.

“Shut up,” Lily smacks her playfully and rolls her eyes, but wrapping her own hand around Eleanor’s hand on her shoulder giving no proof of being mad. “We’ve been together for almost five years now.”

“Wow, that’s a long time.”

“It’s a long time when you suddenly have a wife and five children to look after,” Eleanor laughs, leaning her head against Lily’s shoulder. All Dan feels is the pang of jealousy.

“Don’t tell me you don’t love it.”

“Five children?” Dan raises his eyebrow, because he hasn’t seen any children yet. He knows that Eleanor and Lily have _some_ but he didn’t quite know how many. He thought maybe one or two, three at a maximum. But then again, he never asked.

“Yeah we have five now, we used to have six but our eldest went to live with her boyfriend, soon to be husband!”

Dan doesn’t miss the glimmer in Eleanor’s eyes and the smile spreading across her face when talking about a child of theirs. Dan knows they aren’t technically there’s because he knows the basic anatomy of a woman and he _knows_ that they couldn’t actually have children together. There must be another reason for Eleanor and Lily having children.

“That’s cool, how did you get them?” He means for it to sound nonchalant, but it comes out more annoying and almost whinier than he wanted.

“What do you mean?” Lily tilts her head in confusion and Eleanor stifles a giggle alongside her.

“Because obviously, you two didn-“ Dan stutters, at a loss of what else to say, but he doesn’t really want to talk about his mother figure doing _those_ types of things. He feels his cheeks burning at the idea of them having this conversation, and even worse that he brought it up himself.

“If you mean us two having sex didn’t create those wonderful children of ours then you’d be correct, Daniel.”

“Uh-“ Dan literally couldn’t imagine a worse situation than right now. He regrets bringing it up and he’s sure they are both aware of that and are just making it all the more embarrassing.

“Chill, I’m kidding. We all know no sex before marriage and because we aren’t technically married, well…” Eleanor giggles, winking at her wife in all but name.

He doesn’t miss the way Lily scoffs loudly at that. Dan only blushes more.

“Anyway, how is your life going Daniel?” Lily asks, and Dan puts a mental reminder in his head to thank her personally for changing the subject.

“It’s okay actually, I think I’m going to get a job super soon?” He hopes anyway. He doesn’t think he’ll turn down a job anywhere where Phil is but that’s another story, he doesn't need to tell Eleanor and Lily that.

“Hm? Where?” Eleanor pipes up, lifting her head from Lily’s shoulder and retracting her arm from behind her wife finally to put all the attention onto Dan. Dan likes that about her, when Dan is talking it’s like he’s the only person in the room. She must do that to everyone she speaks to and that’s wonderful.

“Phil said I could probably get a job at his work so I’m thinking of working there,” Dan shrugs at this, feigning nonchalance.

“Phil?” Lily raises her eyebrow in question. He should have guessed that Lily would have a similar thought process and jokes that Eleanor has around relationships. Maybe that’s what comes with being a parent, you naturally tease the people who look up to you – like when your child has their first crush and you find out. Dan kind of likes that.

“Phil is Dan’s boyfriend,” Eleanor laughs, throwing her head back into a cackle and Dan hates the way he’s so see through. Even if he isn’t dating Phil, at least he wants to be.

“Phil is not,” Dan points out, trying to ignore the fact that his cheeks are turning the shade of hematite quartz and burning up a storm.

“Why not?”

“Because-“

“You seem really into each other, I could sense the sexual tension from over here the other night.”

“He slept over the other night and you’re questioning?” Lily asks, the smirk never leaving her face but curiosity also peaking in. This must mean that Eleanor has never told Lily anything about Dan and Dan obviously knows it probably isn’t important enough to talk about with your wife once you’ve put all your actual kids to bed.

It’s kind of funny actually, how immediately Dan classified Eleanor as a maternal figure in his life. He should feel guilty about it but he knows his mother, deep down, would love that he has found someone else to look up to even if they are not biologically related to him and that it was quick for him to _move on._

Dan doesn’t think they understand though. They don’t know who Phil is so they don’t know about Elizabeth, so it is easy enough to not understand. He tries to ignore the frown emerging on his face when he speaks again.

“Not questioning, I know?” Dan frowns anyway because he can’t help himself speaking about how Phil will never be his.

“Why?” It’s almost like Eleanor sees his frown and wants to one up it, because her frown is deeper than he imagines his to be.

“He has a girlfriend?”

“Dan, honey.”

He hears the upset in her voice and he hates it almost immediately. She’s understood why Dan is reluctant to give in to his feelings and why he’s so aggressively sure that Dan and Phil will _not_ be a thing. Ever.

He hates the fact he’s going to get sympathy for this, because he doesn’t want it. He doesn’t want sympathy because he has a hopeless fucking crush on a guy who doesn’t feel the same way, and won't ever feel the same way. He knows that he has no chance when Phil is dating a girl. He’s aware that people can be attracted to multiple genders, because one of his friends from Wokingham taught him that but nothing is ever going to be that easy.

“What?” He says through his teeth. He doesn’t mean to be aggressive but he’s upset and doesn’t want to talk about this any longer.

“Dan. He doesn’t have a girlfriend?” Eleanor almost laughs when she says this and for a second, he doesn’t understand. Why would she be laughing? Why would she laugh at his pain? He doesn’t understand what he is missing here, and he lets out an awkward chuckle too out of confusion.

“Yes he does,” Dan can’t help but roll his eyes when he says this. “I’ve seen it.”

“How?” Eleanor laughs _again_ and Dan feels the anger bubbling through him. He knows she’s doing nothing wrong because she doesn’t _understand_ but he knows his feelings are also valid here.

“Elizabeth?” He says, able to loosen the clench on his jaw for this somehow, even if just for a second.

Eleanor snorts and Dan’s brow tightens into a frown.

“That’s his sister, Dan?”

“What?” Dan blinks. He doesn’t understand, because the one time he has seen them together it’s been on that first coven meeting and he was really cosy with Elizabeth. Maybe Dan was reading it wrong this entire time? Surely not? They looked pretty cosy.

But then again, could Dan have overanalysed it because he’s only really seen men and women be together in a romantic setting? Never siblings and definitely never platonically? Maybe that’s what people act like. Dan wouldn’t know.

“And I can assure you, Phil isn’t having a girlfriend anytime soon,” Eleanor continues, shuffling in her seat to turn to Dan a bit more and Dan still doesn’t meet her gaze, looking somewhere behind her vacantly, because looking at her means he gets to see her reaction and looking at Lily means the same thing. He doesn’t know if he could deal with seeing them laughing right now.

Laughing means a whole bunch of things. It could be that they are kidding and Phil is actually into girls and married to Elizabeth or some shit. It could also mean that they are mocking him and he doesn’t know if he could handle that either.

Dan’s heart drops. Has he been wrong this whole time? Surely not.

“I think I’d know, he’s the one who came to me years ago having a crisis about his sexuality,” Lily contributes to the conversation finally and this time Dan actually turns his head to look at her to gauge a reaction.

She doesn’t look like she’s lying or making any sort of joke. Her face is quite mellow, the way Dan has always seen her even if today has been the first time he’s seen her. The calmness of her face doesn’t really ease Dan’s anxiety though.

“What?”

“You didn’t know he likes men?” Dan did not and he almost withholds the roll of his eyes at the stupid comment. Almost.

“Nope, I did not,” Dan instantly thinks back to the almost kiss from the night before. _Can he call it that?_ He isn’t sure. But it makes a lot more sense suddenly.

Phil almost kissed him. In his head, nothing is denying that now. Elizabeth is his sister, a thought that makes Dan almost cackle now (he doesn’t, he doesn’t want to look insane in front of Eleanor and Lily and he thinks explaining why he is laughing is something he doesn’t want to talk about yet).

“Well now you do, and you can get in there?” Lily smiles at him and he knows for once that’s genuine. Not that any of her smiles have not been genuine beforehand, but her smile this time just screams hopeful and happy for Dan. He likes that.

“Certainly not, I don’t even know where we stand?”

“You can cut the sexual tension with a knife, we’ve been through this,” Eleanor rolls her eyes and sings a small tune. Dan wishes he could be as cocky as that, maybe that’s the only way he’s ever going to ‘win’ Phil over.

Dan’s throat goes dry at the thought of that.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Dan stays at Eleanor and Lily’s for a few hours after that. They don’t speak on it again, after it’s made clear that Dan isn’t ready to speak on it for more reasons than one. He gets to meet a couple of the children that Lily and Eleanor adopted when they had to flee their homes for one reason or another and it was lovely.

It was a really nice insight into what his life could pan out to be.

Of course, he takes the walk home with a basket of honey cake and a bottle of elderflower champagne in hand, because apparently they had too much over from Litha and weren’t going to eat it all in time. Dan pointed out that they are a family of six and could easily eat a handful of cake and a bottle of alcohol but she wasn’t having any of it.

Eleanor tried to say it wasn’t because of her obsessive need to mother Dan, but Dan didn’t argue with her to allow her to keep her thoughts in order.

He makes quick work of putting the cake in the cupboard and the champagne in the cooler he has in the kitchen. Closing the cupboard door, he rests the palm of his hand against the kitchen counter and a flooding of memories come to attack him.

He gets reminded of Phil leaning up against his kitchen counter just the day before when Phil demanded a tour of Dan’s cottage and this time he can’t deny the butterflies he gets from that. It’s almost like his new knowledge about Phil being into men has unlocked more intense feelings for him, like he almost has a bigger chance.

_Phil leans up against the kitchen counter, “It’s nice, I wouldn’t change anything about it.”_

_Phil leans up against the counter as he belongs here, like he knows a few months from now he’s going to be leaning up against the exact same counter waiting for his breakfast of almond milk porridge to be cooked that Dan is making for him._

_Dan’s eyes cover Phil’s body for a moment, not allowing him the ability to look anymore south than where his belly button would sit._

_Heaven forbid he allowed himself to think about anything of that sort. He knows mother nature can be forgiving but maybe not **that** forgiving._

_“Yeah?” Dan’s sure the shakiness of his breath deceives him but Phil doesn’t comment on it._

Shaking his head to get rid of the obsessively hopeful thoughts out of his head, he heads upstairs to get to bed because it’s already later than usual and he could do with the sleep. He’s found himself being increasingly exhausted lately, maybe it’s the stress of what his life has become and the fact he struggles to sleep more than an hour at a time before nightmares overwhelm him.

Tugging off his shirt and unbuttoning his trousers, he watches himself in the mirror. He watches as his body contorts and moves with each action he undertakes. He looks at the freckles that reveal themselves on his shoulders. He finds them pretty. He knows they are pretty, and maybe if Mother Nature allows him to have his own way, Phil might find them pretty too.

He spins around on his heel, looking away from his reflection, and heads to bed. It’s almost like his brain is attempting to wind him with sudden memories of Phil because staring at his bed, he remembers the almost kiss they had.

" _Yeah, it’s not much.”_

_Heading out of the doorway to go back downstairs into a more open area, so he isn’t cramped in a confined space with Phil any longer, he feels a hand wrap around his wrist and his body being tugged backwards back towards Phil._

_Phil isn’t sitting down anymore and the moonlight coming from his bedroom window is reflecting off of Phil’s cheekbones and exposing the blush he wouldn’t have been able to see in the almost darkness of his bedroom._

_He swears he can see a shy smile appearing on Phil’s lips, but he can’t be sure because all he can focus on is **those eyes** \- the magical shade of garden green, sky blue with a speckle of grey. He puts a mental reminder in his head to use this image to help him get to sleep at night because he’s sure he can never be scared of anything to do with these eyes he’s staring into._

_Forehead resting on Phil’s, he allows himself to explore Phil’s face a bit more. More than he has ever been able to. He tears himself away from the wonders of Phil’s eyes even though it is incredibly difficult to look south at his cheekbones again._

_The blush which is ever more blooming across his cheeks hiding the adorable freckles that come in thousands. Dan doesn’t think he has as many as himself but it’s enough for Dan to get lost in them and almost daydream about playing connect the dots with them – almost, because he is right here right now and he doesn’t think he can tear away from reality for even a second. He doesn’t know when he’ll get this moment again._

_His nose. A nose perfect enough to place small and delicate pecks of kisses on. How could it not be perfect when it belongs to Phil?_

_Dan’s breath hitches when he gets to Phil’s lips, and he swears he stops breathing altogether when he risks looking up into Phil’s eyes again and sees Phil looking at his own. He doesn’t know how it’s got to this moment, him having his forehead rested on Phil's, the person he’s been hopelessly crushing on since leaving his home in Wokingham and moving here. Is he lucky? Dan isn’t sure._

_But before he has any pluck of courage to lean in, the memory comes shattering down to a halt with the reminder of Dusk and a loud noise from the lounge. And just like that, Phil is pulling away and leaving Dan alone in his room._

He’s thankful for the mental picture he saved in his memories, even if the ending isn’t perfect.

He doesn’t know what the fuck is going on but there’s something. Maybe. However, Dan doesn’t know if that relieves any tension or adds ridiculous amounts more.

He lifts the blanket off his bed enough for him to slide in underneath and tries to close his eyes to sleep. Instead, his brain has other ideas – imagining a bunch of _what-ifs_. What if Dan had leaned in? What would have happened then? Would Dan have been lying in bed with Phil right now or would he have been let down painfully?

What if Dusk didn’t make such a loud noise for Phil to pull away? He knows he can’t blame a cat, even if Phil tells him time and time again that she is clever enough to understand what she’s doing. Dusk may be a clever cat but she isn’t _that_ clever.

Thinking about this, it’s almost like his brain is taunting him with audible memories of the moment with Phil because he can hear the soft pitter patter of claws against a window frame and a gentle purring.

It’s not until he hears a meow, loud enough for the sound to be coming from right next to his ear, he realises it’s not an audible memory.

He looks up to his bedroom window just above him and there is Dusk, in all her glory sitting on the window frame with her small dainty paw moving backwards and forth to create a quiet but sufficient scraping sound to get Dan’s attention. He doesn’t dare tell her it was her meow that gave her away, he lets her have this sense of pride.

Dusk takes that as an opportunity to jump down onto Dan’s bed and makes home for the time being against his naked midriff. It’s when Dan runs his hand through her fur on her head that he feels a small envelope attached to her collar.

Dan chuckles to himself as he takes it off of her, thinking about how this is always going to be their form of communication when they aren’t together. It’s been less than a day but they can’t even manage that away from each other without speaking.

Opening the envelope, the words on the page form in front of him and it takes him a moment to process them.

_Tell me you’re thinking about me. I’m thinking about you._

There are the words _that it harm none, do as thou wilt_ at the bottom of the paper and a small drawing of a cat (Dan assumes anyway, Phil isn’t the best drawer) but Dan can’t help but focus on the previous part. The main part of the

Dan blushes even though no one can see because he’s home alone. He hides his blushing in Dusk’s fur anyway, “Tell me what to do Dusk.”

Dusk offers a small meow and shuffles their body closer to Dan’s, lifting her head up to touch their mouth against Dan’s. A kiss in some sense.

“Yeah, I think so too, if I’m brave enough.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi sorry! idk if you saw on twitter, but i said i wasn't going to post yesterday because i posted a coty anniversary fic instead ! you can read that [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24997018) if u want to
> 
> we're finally getting somewhere in this fic and i'm so excited !! im a few chapters ahead of you all in writing so i'm very excited at where it will lead ;)
> 
> i also decided to change the chapter dividers because i thought cute stars would be more fitting than my usual divider :D im not sure if u noticed
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	10. Chapter 10

The time comes far more quickly than Dan imagines. He spends a few days working on his art, with all the remaining paint and brushes that he had carried with him from Wokingham, thanking his lucky stars that his mother packed them for him. She always knew that he loved his artistic side and for that he is grateful.

He ends up completely a handful of landscape pieces, nothing too special, but they are all from some of his favourite places from back home. The first one being a forest that he remembers spending his afternoons in with his childhood friends. The artwork blended with colours of green from the trees and grass and purple and pinks from the florals with three small blobs of pale pink people in the middle, because whilst Dan can admit that he is talented at landscape art he hasn’t quite got the talent there yet for portraits just yet.

He remembers spending hours after education lessons in this forest running around and laughing with his friends. Some of his best childhood memories are from this forest. He had his first kiss in this forest, granted with a girl who he now knows isn’t the best example for him.

The days quickly turn into the day that Dan has to go to Eleanor’s for dinner with Phil. Dan wishes he could ease his nerves about seeing Phil again by saying he’s seen Phil since the almost kiss moment that they had a few days prior but alas, that isn’t true.

For one reason or another, Dan failed to meet up with Phil again. Not that they planned anything, they just didn’t have time. Dan did have a few meetings with Dusk though, bringing cuddles and letters for Dan from Phil so that was enough to ease his nerves. Not enough though.

He bathes early in the morning so he can focus the rest of the day on getting ready to look his best for Phil – although he doesn’t think he needs to worry, because Phil had witnessed Dan drunk off of elderflower champagne and sweaty from the fire. He’s sure that Phil wouldn’t be bothered if a hair is out of place or wasn’t smelling the prettiest.

He’s buttoning up his plain black button up shirt and tucking it into his corduroy trousers when there’s a knock at the door. Without thinking, he leaves his shirt half buttoned up, exposing his chest slightly, and pads his way to his front door.

Opening the door, he quickly realises that he should have finished getting dressed beforehand, when the door swings open and he hears a quick meow and is faced with a smiley Phil.

He stammers backwards making quick work of buttoning his remaining buttons and allowing room for Phil to walk past him.

“Hi,” Phil says shyly but doesn’t make it lowkey as his eyes search Dan’s exposed body resting on his naked collarbones that Dan still hasn’t covered up yet.

Dan turns around and heads towards the stairs to finish getting ready and awkwardly turns around to see Phil blushing. He could argue that he is blushing far more than Dan is, but Dan can’t be sure and shakes that thought away. No way would Phil be more affected right now.

“I thought we were meeting at Eleanor’s?” Dan stutters, running his hand through his hair and mentally curses himself immediately afterwards because he had _just_ put the wax in his curls to tame them and instantly ruined it.

“Hi to you too,” Phil rolls eyes, bending down in front of Dan. Dan tries not to overthink the sight of Phil almost dropping to Dan’s crotch level, on top of the way Phil looked at him just a few moments ago when his chest was on show. Instead, Dusk leaves Phil’s arms, Dan apologises in his head for not recognising Dusk before now, and allows Dusk to roam the room.

Dan kind of likes that Dusk is just at _home_ here now. She isn’t anxious and doesn’t spend minutes sniffing and marking her scent anywhere, she just jumps up onto the coffee table and lies down immediately.

“Sorry hi,” Dan smiles. Phil smiles back and it only makes Dan smile wider and he can almost laugh to himself at how transparent he is being. He watches as Phil doesn’t keep the eye contact for long and looks back at Dusk before chuckling.

Phil stands up and doesn’t step backwards to distance himself from Dan. Instead, he reaches out and rests his palm of Dan’s bicep, stroking his thumb gently across Dan’s skin. He finally looks up and stares into Dan’s eyes for a moment, the exact same smile appearing across his face that Dan saw a couple of seconds ago.

Dan’s sure that he is lost in a trance for what feels like an hour before Phil pulls back.

“I got ready early so I thought I’d come to say hi,” Phil shrugs, finally pulling away from Dan completely and sitting back in the sofa seat he always sits. Dan can’t help but feel comfortable at the thought that that space on Dan’s sofa may be Phil’s from now on.

Dan doesn’t even think to sit there when he’s on his own, because it’s Phil’s.

“Oh, that’s nice actually,” Dan says, which shocks himself. Because it’s not exactly gushing over Phil for once. Maybe he’s grown.

He makes himself walk over to the sofa and feels a force stop him from walking any further. He looks down at his chest, where the force is feeling it’s strongest, and he sees Phil’s palm pressing firmly into the space, his index finger touching the exposed skin on his chest where his buttons aren’t closing the fabric properly.

“So hurry up and get ready,” Phil finally says, but his hand doesn’t leave his chest and Dan swears he feels Phil’s finger stroke across his skin.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Walking to Eleanor’s home from Dan’s cottage, Dan allows himself to properly look at Phil since he arrived around an hour ago. He looks beautiful, Dan thinks. He’s wearing the same shirt that he was wearing the very first time that Dan had seen Phil and a pair of trousers that Dan has never seen before.

Come to think of it, he’s never seen them on anyone in particular either. They are similar in the ways that Dan is wearing an oversized leg but synched at the waist but what makes them different is the small tears that begin at the knees and make their way up to his thigh.

Dan has to make a conscious effort to not allow his gaze to fix on the small amounts of skin that he can see as they walk up the pathway to Eleanor’s front door. Instead, he looks at Dusk’s tail swinging side to side as she walks just in front of Dan.

He watches as Phil wraps his fingers around the door knocker and bangs it against the wooden door frame. It takes a few moments of awkward chuckles and lingering looks between Dan and Phil before the door swings open and they are faced with a smiley and happy Eleanor.

She doesn’t look much different from what Dan has seen her before. She’s wearing her hair in tight blonde curls and minimal make up, a red glossy lip shining through the low evening sun. Her clothes being a cropped black tank top with a small reveal of her skin that is quickly covered by a flowy black skirt going down to her ankles.

She looks very pretty although, Dan isn’t sure she ever looks unattractive and _ugly_.

“Hi- Oh? You’ve come together?” Eleanor smirks, pulling the door open further to allow

“Shut up,” Dan rolls his eyes and he hears the gasp followed by a small giggle.

“I didn’t say anything!”

“Hi Eleanor, I brought some red wine for us to drink today,” Phil says as he lifts up his hand to offer the wine to Eleanor. Dan isn’t quite sure where that wine came from because he hasn’t seen it before now, but Phil’s a distraction so he blames that.

“Aw, thank you, Phil! We’ll put that to one side and drink tonight,”

“Suck up,” Dan bops tongue out. “Where’s Lily?”

“Oh, she’s with the kids. They’ll be down in a bit, I think she’s trying to get them in their best clothes to hang out with us all.”

“You have kids now?”

“Yeah, Phil! Technically five!”

“Oh, wow.”

“Do you want kids, Phil?” Eleanor asks innocently, but Dan knows why she’s doing it. Of course, they’ve only been in the house for a few minutes before she’s testing them.

“Oh yeah, maybe one day? Probably won’t be able to though,” Phil bites his lip and looks at Dan for a split second.

“Why’s that? Dan asks in a sudden burst of confidence. Not to force Phil to come out to him but hoping that will work and Phil will tell Dan himself.

Lily and the kids come down before Phil can answer. But Dan watches Phil look at him for a moment and Dan can’t place the reason why. All he feels is a quiet but forceful bubbling in his stomach of nerves as he watches Phil break the eye contact to turn around and help Eleanor with preparing the table.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Eleanor doesn’t hesitate to make a wonderful meal for them all. Even though it wasn’t demanded custom to be vegetarian nor vegan whilst practising Wicca, it was a personal preference and Eleanor made sure Dan and Phil were able to eat. She had made a casserole of an array of beans and vegetables with potatoes and it is probably one of the nicest things Dan has had to eat since moving here.

The rest of Eleanor and Lily’s foster children quickly come downstairs once the table was prepared and Dan enjoyed getting to know them. He’s sitting sandwiched in between two of the girls that deem themselves as Eleanor’s favourite, Samantha and Abigail, with Phil directly opposite him.

He would rather be sitting right next to Phil but it gives him an easier ability to sneak glances at Phil whilst they’re talking about this and that. He isn’t going to admit it but that’s all he cares about, being able to see Phil chuckling at something funny someone says is something Dan doesn’t want to miss out on. He would pay to see that.

“So, David is actually working on getting a qualification in woodwork to move out soon, isn’t that right?” Lily says conversationally. Dan’s quick to understand that she’s the one out of Eleanor and Lily that wants to do these dinners, even though Eleanor invited him initially. She’s the one out of the couple that is far more conversational, and it shows from the dinner table alone.

“Yeah,” David offers. Dan knows David as being the second eldest in the family here, the eldest already having moved out a few weeks before Dan’s arrival with her boyfriend. Dan shoves a roasted potato in his mouth in a completely impolite way whilst he listens to David continue speaking. “It’s not going to be a walk in the park, but I’ll get there.”

“That’s great that you know what you want to do, I didn’t at your age,” Phil speaks up, and Dan automatically finds his head turning to face Phil. He knows it’s rude because he can hear David beginning to talk again in response to what Phil had said, but he finds it hard to look away even for a second.

It’s the way that Phil’s eyes glimmer when he starts talking that makes him stare but it’s the way that Phil’s lips quirk up like he’s loving whatever he’s talking about, even if it’s the most basic thing in the world, that means Dan can’t break away.

“Really?” Dan laughs, realising what Phil had said. Curse him for being distracted by looking at Phil instead of listening to him.

“Yeah, I still don’t,” Phil laughs with him, and it’s the best sound Dan’s probably ever heard.

“Idiot,” The rolling of the eyes come naturally, he doesn’t even mean to. It’s just happens, it’s a reflex whenever Phil says something Dan finds a little _too much_.

“No, you,” Phil mutters and Dan feels a sharp but not entirely painful force of pain in his right shin. Of course, Phil has kicked him underneath the table for the sarcastic reply and telling by the smirk revealing itself on Phil’s face, it seems like he enjoyed doing it.

Dan looks away from the shining smile on Phil’s face for a second to see Eleanor and Lily looking at them back and forth and he suddenly feels embarrassed. He feels seen and he doesn’t like that so instead of commenting further, he coughs to break the tension.

It seems to work because everyone goes back to eating. He doesn’t dare to take a look at Phil until he knows for sure everyone is back to normal, and even then when he peeps a look, he sees a shy smile hiding in a scatter of blushing.

“Daniel, why don’t you tell us about your friend? How did you meet?” Eleanor smirks but tries to hide it by shoving a fork full of pie into her mouth. Dan doesn’t miss it. He hopes Phil does.

“I joined his coven,” Dan says simply because that is literally all that happened. Dan moved here, saw a signpost written in an old language he knows _only_ Wiccans know and went to check it out. In hindsight, he shouldn’t have gone because who knows what he would have found there? However, he did go and it was the best risky decision he has made.

“Oh yeah? Is it nice?”

“It’s okay I guess yeah,” Dan replies genuinely. It is okay. He hasn’t been there long enough to know if it’s a good place or not. It’s too early to tell. But he is liking how it’s going and that’s enough.

“Is it better than your previous one back in Wokingham?”

“Better in different ways,” Dan mutters, hiding his words in his mouth as he swallows some broccoli, ignoring the way his throat is so incredibly dry. He gathers people heard him by the way Phil is looking at him, a sort of fond way with a smile that Dan can’t quite describe.

“That’s nice,” Eleanor comments finally after what feels like painstaking minutes. “We haven’t been in a coven for a while actually, have we Lily? We thought about joining one, but we thought there was enough of us here to make our own.”

“You’re your own coven?” Phil asks.

“Yeah, why do you want to join?” Lily laughs.

“I’m fine where I am for now, but thank you for the offer,” Dan doesn’t miss the way Phil doesn’t take his eyes off of him when he says that.

“Interesting.”

They finish their meal and Phil helps Lily pack away and clean up. Dan moves into the lounge with Eleanor the kids and Dusk. The kids are playing with Dusk and Eleanor is sitting across from Dan staring him down.

“What?” Dan probably raises his voice far too loud for someone trying to have an adult calm evening for once.

“Are you sure nothing is going on between you two?” Eleanor says, putting her elbows on her knees and leaning forward, allowing her hands to dangle down in front of her but still keeping the same intimidating presence Dan knows she has all too well.

“Nothing is?”

“It really doesn’t seem like it Daniel,” Eleanor chuckles, leaning back in her chair. This doesn’t mean the edge she has over Dan has disappeared; she’s still as intimidating as ever.

“What do you mean?” Dan frowns, keeping his eyes focused on Dusk nibbling on the corner of the coffee table in front of him. He should really tell her off for it but it isn’t his coffee table nor is Dusk his own cat. He does make the effort to lift his foot gently to press into her fur, but she doesn’t stop what she’s doing so he leaves it at that.

“You could cut the sexual tension with a knife in there!”

“Shush! Okay,” Dan almost spits too loudly. He knows Phil and Lily are busy a few rooms away from them, but they could still hear and he doesn’t want that. He especially doesn’t want Phil to hear them talking about him.

“So, there is something going on?!” Eleanor almost squeals excitedly, but she still manages to keep the hushed tone that Dan is failing to copy.

“I’m not sure?” Dan eventually says after a few moments of Eleanor squealing about it. He doesn’t catch anything she says but maybe that’s for the best.

“What do you mean?”

“I mean I think we almost kissed a few days ago but I’m not sure,” Dan swallows somehow, even though his throat is incredibly dry. He guesses he’s going to speak about this now.

“What does that even _mean_?”

“We were in my bedroom,” Dan starts until Eleanor cuts him off with a giggle. He rolls his eyes, knowing the juicy gossip isn’t going to be anything like that. “And I went to walk away and he pulled me back and we just looked at each other for a minute or two?”

“And that happened when?”

“The day before I came to visit you?” Dan says.

“And you haven’t spoken about it?”

“No-“

“What the hell Daniel, speak about it? All good things come from healthy communication.”

Dan dwells on it for a second, “I guess you’re right.”

“I’m always right.”

Dan groans but before they can speak any longer, the closed door swings open and everyone returns to the lounge. Lily walks over and takes pride place upon Eleanor’s lap and he watches for a few seconds as they share a few hushed words with each other between kisses. Yeah, he’s definitely going to be jealous of that for a while.

Phil comes to sit next to him and Dan tries to ignore the gaze he receives from Eleanor as a result, because Phil is sitting way to close to him. There’s an entire sofa and Phil chooses to sit closer than he necessarily needs to. Maybe Eleanor’s unsure gaze means she assumes Dan is lying to her, and something more _is_ going on but Dan can’t manage to think about that for more than a second before Phil shuffles even closer and his thighs are pressed firmly against Dan’s own.

“What were you speaking about?” Lily asks innocently, because obviously, she doesn’t know even though the smile on her face suggests otherwise.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

The rest of the evening is nice, according to Dan. The twins, Samantha and Abigail, are playing with Dusk as soon as dinner is over. Dan spends far too much of the evening watching Phil watch Dusk playing with them, the girls giggling every time Dusk does something goofy.  
Dan also finds out things about Lily and Eleanor that he would never have guessed. He found out that Lily thought she was straight until she met Eleanor, and Eleanor prides herself as being Lily’s sole sexual awakening, much to Lily’s humorous annoyance.

He finds out things about Phil that he probably could have guessed if he truly thought about it, like how he is an avid sweet fan and his mother has to hide the honey cake upon celebrations because if Phil finds it he _will_ eat it all without any hesitation. Dan just finds that endearing.

Phil thinks it’s a nice evening too if his smile and gentle hums agreeing with everything Dan says is anything to go by. Phil doesn’t really say much whilst Dan says goodbye to Eleanor and hugs them both goodbye, and Dan wants to question why. He decides to wait until they are back in his cottage to ask, because Phil has decided to hang out for a while longer as it isn’t really that late.

Dan doesn’t want to think too deeply about how he didn’t ask and how Dan didn’t put up a fight.

They make it into Dan’s cottage in one piece, if the short five minute walk is anything of a threat to them. Usually, it wouldn’t be for Dan but nowadays in the time they are in, what with fellow witches being kidnapped and killed left right and centre, Dan can’t be too sure anymore.

He unlocks his front door and allows Phil in before him, watching as Dusk follows suit before he closes and locks the door behind him. Phil will probably leave in a few hours but that isn’t reason enough to keep the door unlocked. If Dan’s learnt anything from living home alone for the last month or so, a locked door really is necessary.

“That was a nice evening, huh?” Dan says absentmindedly because he realises there's an awkward silence looming in the air. Not that any one of them put it there in particular but they hadn’t really spoken since they left Eleanor’s and it was getting a little awkward and Dan needed to say something.

“Yeah, it was okay,” Phil says and Dan knows instantly that he’s being annoying. He finds it more than okay, he just is belittling his own enjoyment because he knows Dan finds that frustrating. They’ve had several discussions about that specifically and Phil finds it hilarious.

“Okay?”

“Okay, more than okay,” Phil rolls his eyes.

“That’s what I like to hear,” Dan comes to sit next to Phil. He feels Phil lean into his touch almost instantly, just pressing his side into his side and sighing.

“Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m ju-“ Phil starts and Dan watches as his lip slots in between his two sets of teeth out of nerves and frustration. He eventually lets go and sighs again. “Never mind.”

“No, tell me.”

Phil shuffles away and turns to Dan slightly. He doesn’t look at his eyes though, Dan can tell Phil is doing the same thing he does by looking just slightly north or west from Phil’s eyes so it kind of _looks_ like you’re looking at them.

He doesn’t say anything for a few minutes and Dan wonders if he ever will. He doesn’t understand why the thing that comes out of Phil’s mouth isn’t something remotely worthy of a bitten lip and a sigh like he insinuated.

“I should go home,” Phil says after a few moments.

“Why? It’s late I don’t want you walking home alone,” Dan protests, because what else can he really do in this situation? He doesn’t want Phil to walk home alone at this hour, and he knows if he offers to walk Phil home Phil will protest that because Dan will then have to walk back alone too.

“I’ll have Dusk,” Phil shrugs beginning to stand up like it’s the easiest thing in the world. Yes, he has Dusk but Dusk is a tiny cat and not really much protection, Dan thinks, but he will never tell Dusk that directly.

Dan turns his head to look for Dusk for a second, who is lying down on the coffee table fast asleep. What help would she be genuinely?

“Hmm,” Dan thinks for a second, reaching out in front of him to wrap his palm around Phil’s wrist to stop him walking away any further. Dan pulls him back to where he was originally sitting, right next to him, and Phil doesn’t begin to move again. “Dusk told me she wants to say here.”

Phil giggles, knocking his knee into Dan’s, “Okay, fine. I’ll stay if you want me so much.”

“Good.”

“Why do you want me to stay so bad?” Phil says. Dan can hear the joke in his voice but also the anxiety looming, like Phil genuinely isn’t sure why Dan would want to spend time with him.

“I like spending time with you.”

“But why?” Phil begins frowning then, and Dan wants to wipe that frown off of his friends face immediately.

“You’re a nice person.”

“Far from it,” It’s when this comes out of Phil’s mouth that Dan scoffs almost on impulse. He doesn’t mean to and he hopes that Phil doesn’t find it passive aggressive or patronising in any way.

“No, Phil. You seem to not understand that you’re a good person,” Dan says simply, allowing the fondness and admiration for Phil to seep out of his mouth and wrap around the words. He says it simply because it was a simple thing to Dan.

“Really?”

“Yeah,” Dan says shyly, in fear that he has overstepped in any way because the reaction from Phil wasn’t very clear.

“You’re not too bad either,” Phil says eventually, lifting his hand to Dan’s hair and brushing some stray curls out of Dan’s face.

Dan leans into the touch and feels a sudden burst of bravery when he locks his eyes on Phil’s. He watches as the pupil in Phil’s eyes dilates into something Dan’s seen on Phil before, just a few days ago. It feels like hours just looking into the bright sea eyes until the hand in Dan’s hair falls down to his cheek and Dan leans into it even more. He decides, if he’s going to do this, he’s going to be as bold as he possibly can, even if that means being completely transparent about wanting Phil to touch him.

His eyes move away from Phil’s to move south and watches as Phil swallows and his Adam's apple bobs out of nerves. He looks straight back into Phil’s eyes and just accepts when Phil leans in slowly, never moving his eyes to anything other than Dan’s. Dan feels like he’s in another world, if it wasn’t for the anchoring feeling of Phil’s thumb rubbing over Dan’s cheek keeping him grounded to Earth then he could have sworn he was dreaming.

When he feels the gentle ghost of Phil’s breath over his lips, he closes his eyes and acts out one more brave moment for himself and closes the distance between them completely. His tummy swoops and he feels that pit of anxiety that he hasn’t felt in the longest time, the only good anxiety he’s ever felt in his life. Phil’s lips being so soft and warm inviting him and he brings his own hand to clasp the soft fabric of his shirt to bring him closer.

Phil, getting the message, uses his hand on Dan’s cheek to snake around the back of his neck to pull him closer too. They aren’t close enough and Dan doesn’t think he’ll ever be completely happy with the closeness of them but it’s enough for now. Feeling Phil’s lips curl into a smile against his and feeling the gentle thump of his heart pounding against his lips is enough for Dan to realise this is the right thing.

He doesn’t know whether it was him and his bravery or whether it was Phil who pulled him closer yet again, but he finds himself climbing onto Phil’s thighs, his own legs resting either side of Phil’s hips before settling down into a more comfortable position. He pushes away gently and reluctantly to be able to breathe, but rests his forehead against Phil’s.

His hand that was clutching so desperately into Phil’s shirt found a new home around his waist now, the movement causing Phil’s shirt to rise and Dan is suddenly touching the smooth skin on Phil’s stomach.

He opens his eyes and sees the wide grin on Phil’s face, knowing that this specific memory is going to be ingrained into Dan’s memories forever. Seeing Phil’s toothy grin as a result of something Dan has done is almost overwhelming for him, so he leans back in and presses his lips to Phil’s once again.

Phil doesn’t protest other than a few minutes into the gentle kisses, he pulls back and moves his mouth to Dan’s ear to whisper, “Let’s go to bed.”

And Dan wasn’t going to deny that for himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii everyone !!! i hope everyones had a good week? mines been great. lockdown in the uk has lifted a little bit so ive been able to hang out with my friends a little bit more :D
> 
> i genuinely think that's doing a lot of good for my mental health because whilst i know i'm an introvert, i still do rely on socialising and interacting with my friends as a destresser / a way to calm down when i feel a lil anxious :/ so that's been good!!
> 
> i've also been writing a new fic? i have about three chapters written and i am tempted to start posting soon but i'm unsure... last time i had two fics at once i really struggled but at the same time, i know i have a Lot of spare time so maybe i can make it work :/ i'm not sure yet. i think i'm going to write a few more chapters of it before i start to worry about uploading! and when i do, i'll be sure to link it here so anyone reading can check it out too :D 
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	11. Chapter 11

Waking up is a little different this morning. Dan usually wakes up with a groan and stretch of his limbs but he couldn’t think about doing that this morning. Instead, he lets out a soft whine and wraps his arm tighter around the body beside him.

He doesn’t remember much of last night, because it seems all too overwhelming to think about. All he remembers is being led up the moonlight lit stairs and politely dragged to his bed, where Phil pressed him into the mattress and they lost themselves in each other’s space for a little while.

Dan knows they didn’t have sex, but he isn’t too sure he would have denied it if Phil wanted to go that far.

_Phil places a few gentle kisses onto Dan’s mouth, pulling back to whisper in Dan’s ear, “Let’s go to bed”_

_Dan doesn’t want to seem desperate but he all but literally clambers off of Phil’s thighs to stand in front of him. Phil follows suit and takes Dan’s hand instantly before leading him up the stairs to his bedroom, turning his head around every few seconds with a huge smile across his face ear to ear, like he wanted to check Dan is still behind him._

_Dan is baffled because he knows he should be the one thinking this is a dream._

_Phil doesn’t mess around once he’s in Dan’s bedroom, pushing him gently on the top of his bed and climbing on top of him, taking off his shirt as he does._

His world comes into focus then after the flashback from the night before, his naked skin touching Phil’s likewise. He shuffles slightly, to be able to see Phil more clearly and it overwhelms him. The freckles on Phil’s face are more obvious in the early morning light. He doesn’t have as many as Dan’s aware he has himself but it’s still enough for a game of connecting the dots, Dan reckons.

The shuffling Dan must slowly cause Phil to awake because Dan doesn’t have much to take in until the soft blue eyes are blinking awake.

“Morning,” Dan mumbles and when Phil opens his eyes properly, they look at each other for the first time in the morning. Dan’s sure he is mirroring the wide smile on Phil’s face.

They are so close, Dan’s sure that Phil can feel every single time Dan releases a small breath. If he closes the distance a little more, he could kiss Phil again – he wouldn’t be opposed to that. In fact, he’s sure he could kiss Phil for the rest of his life and not get bored.

Phil must read Dan’s mind because he wraps his arms tighter around Dan’s torso, pulling him closer to allow their noses to touch. Dan can’t help the giggle that escapes his throat when Phil moves his head left to right to give little Eskimo kisses, he should be embarrassed but he can’t bring himself to be.

“Morning you,” Phil says pulling back to look at Dan properly, whilst stroking the tips of his fingers against the exposed skin on his shoulder. It’s in that moment that Dan remembers they are naked from the waist up, but he isn’t sure whether he finds that entirely comfortable. He’s never let alone see his naked form before now.

“How was your sleep?” Dan says, more like a whisper as he’s scared to break the peaceful silent bubble they are in. He shuffles, able to find himself feeling much more comfortable now his skin is pressed against the side of Phil’s stomach. He should have guessed that would bring him the safety feeling he was craving.

“Good, yours?”

“It was okay,” Dan shrugs, a smile appearing on his face as he says it so Phil knows he’s lying. He’s had Phil’s arms tucked around him all throughout the night, he is sure it’s the best night sleep he’s had since he was a tiny child.

Phil laughs, allowing Dan to feel calm that he got the joke, and it sends shivers right through Dan’s spine. It’s nothing comparing to the shiver that he feels when Phil rubs his fingertips from his shoulder to halfway down his back, resting on the small of it.

“I’m glad you had an _okay_ sleep, Dan.”

Dan laughs. He honestly doesn’t think he’s ever been happier.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

It takes the best part of an hour to get out of bed but they still find themselves cuddled up on the couch in Dan’s lounge. Just this time with clothes on in front of the log fire with Dusk sleeping next to Dan’s side.

“Dusk really likes it here,” Dan says, taking his hand off of Phil’s shoulder to stroke Dusk momentarily before putting it back where it belongs, on Phil.

“She does, this is what you get when you have a familiar. Where I feel comfortable, she feels comfortable,” Phil says, stroking his hand idly against Dan’s thigh. Dan can’t help but find it intoxicating.

“I wouldn’t know,” Dan manages to reply to Phil, with minimal embarrassment.

“I can’t believe you don’t have a familiar, Dan,” Phil groans, throwing his hand back to rest against the back of the couch but still not removing his touch from Dan in any other way. “It’s like textbook witch rules.”

“I just didn’t get one back home and if I did I don’t know how I would have brought it here?”

“That’s true,” Phil says, already off in his own little world. He’s biting his lip and looking intently off at the flames in the fire in front of them.

“What?” Dan chuckles out of confusion.

“Do you want a familiar?”

“Duh, Phil,” Dan rolls his eyes, of course he does. “But I don’t know where to buy a kitten from. In case you don’t know, I’m new around here.”

As soon as Dan finishes speaking, Phil is shoving Dan’s legs off of his lap and standing up. Dan whines at the lack of touch almost immediately that Phil rolls his eyes and reaches his hand out to offer to Dan.

Of course, Dan takes it as soon as it’s offered to him, Phil pulling him up as soon as he does, “What are we doing?”

Phil doesn’t say anything until he stops by Dan’s front door, putting his shoes on and kicking Dan’s in front of him.

“Phil?” Dan says again because maybe Phil didn’t hear him even though the only sound in Dan’s lounge is their quiet voices and the gentle snores of Dusk.

“I know the perfect place to get you a familiar,” Phil finally says, looking up from his half-tied laces in his boots and that’s when it clicks for Dan. All Dan does is smile back as he shoves his feet in his shoes.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

To say that Dan was excited to go kitten shopping is an understatement. More than excited. Exhilarated? Electrified? Enraptured? Maybe all of them in one.

Obviously, the walk to wherever Phil was taking him was more difficult than Dan had thought. He couldn’t hold Phil’s hand or be touchy-feely in any way like he could when they are inside closed doors. Not that Dan is embarrassed, he would just love to press his palm into Phil’s and intertwine his fingers in the other man’s. But he loves having his head on his shoulders slightly more.

If they dared to even look at each other the way that Dan so desperately wants to, it would be obvious they are more than friends and that isn’t allowed here. Or anywhere for that matter. Men lying with men or women lying with women was known about. People would be stupid to know it didn’t exist, but that doesn’t mean it was accepted.

It’s not like the King of England at the time was any better of them, jumping back and forth between male lovers throughout the last few years. King James I has been known to have at least three men in his life that he is close to just like Dan is close to Phil. But he was royalty and they allowed that to slide more than a commoner like Dan and Phil.

So they keep their distance, at least whilst they are outside the safety of Dan’s cottage. They make it to the place where Phil promises Dan a kitten after a short brisk walk. Dan’s never been to this part of town before which makes a lot of sense that he didn’t know it existed.

“So,” Dan can’t help but smile as he turns to Phil to see a smile staring right back at him. He has his hands fidgeting in front of him because he’s nervous, he’s about to get a damn kitten and be responsible for someone other than himself, but Phil seems to notice and reaches out to take Dan’s hand momentarily to stop the fidgeting.

It’s only seconds, because they can’t risk much more until they are away from prying eyes but it’s enough to quell Dan’s anxiety even a tiny amount.

“This is where I got Dusk.”

“Are they nice to their kittens? I don’t want to fund an awful business, Phil,” Dan rambles, because he truly does care about these kittens. Not only does he not want to fund an awful business, but he’s also worried that if it were to be an awful business that he’d buy every single kitten on sight so they have a good home. He doesn’t know how he’d care for hundreds of cats on his shortly depleting stash of money that his parents gave him to survive off of until he gained a job, but he'd do it in a heartbeat.

“Dan, they are lovely to their cats. It’s actually owned by someone I know.”

“Do you know absolutely every business owner in this town?” Dan laughs. It truly seems like it.

“Just the witch ones?” Phil giggles as he steps forward to head towards the front door of the building, letting go of Dan’s hand properly and Dan misses the touch. It’s been less than a day since they started acting like this but Dan knows he’s already dependant on it.

“How many are there?”

“More than you think. Hence why this is called a witches haven,” Phil explains as he pulls open the door to let them in and Dan suddenly understands why that makes so much sense.

They head in, Dan following Phil in eager footsteps. Phil speaks to the person at the front desk, she’s a short blonde girl with thick thighs and wide hips. Dan thinks she’s absolutely beautiful and if he was into women, he’d probably fancy her a little bit.

Dan puts two and two together and realises that this must be the person that Phil knows, the shop owner. He isn’t shocked by the fact this place is owned by a woman because he thinks of himself as quite progressive, but it is odd in a small town up North for a woman to own a business. Maybe there’s something he doesn’t know about her, like her late father left it to her in his will or her husband owns the business and she’s just the front. Dan couldn’t be sure.

“Hi, I’m Helena. I normally tour visitors around the floor but Philip comes here a lot so I trust him,” Helena directs to Dan, shaking his hand as she does so. He simply nods and allows Phil to say their goodbyes before they walk down a hallway towards the room labelled _cats_.

Once they are both inside the room, Dan takes the opportunity to stare at Phil and raise his eyebrows, “Philip?”

“I prefer Phil,” Phil laughs, probably realising he’s never actually clarified that Phil isn’t his birth name. Obviously, Dan is aware. He knew before now that most people who are called Phil have a longer birth name, it’s just an easier nickname similar to Dan with Daniel.

Suddenly, Dan realises that he is in a room full of cats, the quiet meowing and purring entering his ears for the first time since entering the room. Dan spins on his heels and heads towards the first cage that he sees. He is instantly greeted with a loud group of meowing and he squats down on his feet to say hello.

“Hi little ones, how are you all?” Dan says in the small voice he has reserved for small animals and babies. And maybe Phil, sometimes, he isn’t sure yet. He hears a small chuckle behind him but otherwise ignores Phil until Phil joins him sitting in front of the cage.

All the kittens have come forward now to get some attention from the visitors, which makes Dan think they are either attention hungry kittens or they don’t get much attention from being in here all day. Dan hopes it’s the first option because he doesn’t think he can cope with leaving cats in cages here if it means they will get neglected and left alone.

“You spend a lot of time here?” Dan says eventually, turning his head to look at Phil but not taking his hand away from the tummy of a small black kitten that reminds him of Dusk through the bars. Phil looks absolutely in love looking at the kittens and Dan holds back a laugh witnessing how much it clearly pains Phil to look away from them for even a second. Phil must really love it here.

“I just really like cats, and it gives me a place to think,” Phil says quietly, staring at a place somewhere behind Dan as he speaks. It makes Dan turn his head around rather abruptly to see how is behind him, but there isn’t any and it makes Phil tilt his head and laugh fondly at him. Dan blushes and turns his head back to look at the kittens.

“Think about what?” Dan bites his lip as he pushes Phil a tiny bit. He knows he shouldn’t, but he couldn’t help asking. He wants to know every single thing about this man in front of him, even if some of those things aren’t so nice. Although, if truth be told, Dan doesn’t think there’s a bad part of Phil.

It takes a moment for Phil to reply and Dan thinks for a second that he may not. He wouldn’t hold a grudge against Phil for not answering, because it is a lot to answer. But he does feel guilty that he even remotely pushed for the answer but he tries to not let that eat at him whilst he focuses on the tiny cat meowing in front of him.

“I had a lot of struggle accepting the part of me that didn’t like girls, and cats never judge you.”

“I’m sure everyone around you loves you and wouldn’t judge you either?” Dan doesn’t know for sure because he’s never met anyone other than his sister, Elizabeth, and even then it was fleeting. He just hopes Phil has an accepting living environment and if they are all Wiccan they must be fairly accepting.

“They love me. Definitely, I know that much, but this is just-“

“Different?” Dan supplies for him.

Phil clears his throat and nods tensely.

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Dan says, stroking a small kitten through the bars of the cage as it walks past him. He hates that they are all locked up, he almost wants to buy them all.

“No, it’s fine. I want to talk about it,” Phil says, looking at Dan’s hand stroking the cat instead of Dan. Dan knows he shouldn’t feel upset that Phil can’t look at him whilst he is talking, and for the most part he doesn’t, because he understands. “My family are so unbelievably accepting. It’s just, I don’t know how to explain? It’s easier to allow them to think my life is picture perfect.”

“Your life can be picture perfect and you can also like men, Phil.”

“I know,” Phil sighs, his hand running through his hair. “I wish it was easier is all.”

Something tells Dan that that isn’t the entire story, but he doesn’t push it. Not with Phil. Not with anyone for that matter.

Dan says a quick goodbye to the little kitten and then drags himself forward, bending his arm backwards until he feels the familiar grip on his hand. He turns his head to offer a small smile to Phil before moving forward to find another potential familiar.

“What do you plan to name your kitten when you find them?” Phil says.

“Stevie probably.”

“Wow, really put a lot of thought into that.”

“It was my Grandma’s cats name and I loved her.”

“Cute,” Phil says simply, and Dan tries not to blush at that like it’s a compliment given to him directly.

They walk from cage to cage for a while longer, talking about this and that and stroking every single cat that walks near them. It’s cute. Dan doesn’t want to call this a first date, but if he was going to do that, it would be a really good one.

The next kitten they pass is a small tabby cat, with munchkin legs and a squishy face. Dan can’t help but immediately fall in love.

Dan passes his fingers through the bars of the cage. The kitten’s patchwork fur is incredibly soft. Dan doesn’t want to compare kittens because they are simply all beautiful but Dan thinks this kitten may be softer than Dusk.

He looks to the left of the kitten for a second to read the information.

_Female_

_Long-haired patched tabby cat with munchkin features._

He takes one more look at her and falls even more deeper in love and lets out a squeal. He hears a chuckle behind him and a hand resting on his waist but he doesn’t give it much attention because there’s a tiny kitten in front of him who is purring _so_ loud.

Her eyes are a mixture between yellow and green, similar to Dusks, and her fur is beyond beautiful. Whilst Dusk is a plain black all over cat (not that there is anything plain with her aside from that), this kitten’s fur is a mixture of colours and patterns.

She has a white tummy and white paws which disappear into the traditional tabby colours of black, grey and brown. What makes her even cuter is the rare scatter of ginger across her body – there’s a splotch of ginger across her face, covering her nose and left eye, and another bout of ginger on one of her legs.

Dan is definitely in love.

“I take it this is Stevie?” Phil eventually says, squeezing the part of Dan’s waist that his hand is lying on and resting his head on Dan’s shoulder.

“This is Stevie.”

Phil’s other hand, that isn’t touching Dan in any way, comes in right next to Dan’s and gives her a little chin scratch. She meows gently to allow them to know she likes that.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Buying a kitten isn’t as difficult as Dan thought it would have been. Phil makes a mental memory of her identification number and allows Dan to stay with Stevie whilst he sorts everything out.

After a few minutes, Phil comes back with Helena shortly behind him

“Oh my god, you’re going to love her, she’s such a gem.”

“I think I already do.”

“Then she’s going to love you just as much back.”

Helena unlocks the cage and turns to Dan so he can take Stevie out of the cage himself and hold her. And so he does.

He makes quick work of getting in front of the cage door and scoops her up, before pressing her against his chest and peppering a few kisses onto Stevie’s head. He gets a few meows as a response before she nuzzles into his chest further.

“Phil,” Dan whispers. He wants to scream but he has a calm kitty attached to him now.

“She loves you already,” Phil replies, stepping into Dan’s personal bubble and strokes the top of Stevie’s head with his index finger. Dan doesn’t imagine the hand that snakes around his waist gently this time, he knows Phil did that this time.

Dan looks up and offers Phil a smile before a cough breaks them apart. It’s Helena, not a threat.

“I’ll leave you to it then?” Helena says as chirpy as ever before spinning on her heel to leave them alone as promised.

“Wait, I did to pay you for her?” Dan says louder than he should have, but Stevie doesn’t react, so he feels the immediate guilt leave him instantly.

“No need,” Helena shrugs, as she turns her head to offer a smile at Dan before turning her head forward again.

“I can’t just have a free kitten.”

“Call it a thank you for Phil spending his free time helping out here,” Helena replies and Dan can tell she wants to hear no more from Dan because she closes the door behind her straight away, leaving them alone with Stevie.

“Phil,” Dan whines again. The fact he has a cat, a lovely cat that is, of his own now is too overwhelming. All Phil does in response is chuckle before placing a small kiss on Dan’s forehead, which does not help how Dan feels in any way.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

The walk home isn’t too exciting. It consists of Dan stopping every five seconds because he’s overwhelmed with newfound love and adoration for Stevie, who has been nothing but the sweetest and just sits in the palm of his hand meowing occasionally, and Phil trying to drag Dan along quicker because if they stop, there's more of a chance they'll get caught.

“She’s just so small,” Dan whispers, almost a cry. It’s definitely a cry but Dan holds it back. He isn’t going to cry over a kitten in front of Phil this early in their relationship, if that’s what they are going to call it.

Phil turns around again but this time instead of putting his hand around Dan’s wrist to pull him along, he stops in his tracks and just smiles fondly at Dan. Maybe it’s this time broke Phil, who knows?

“You’re so cute,” Phil says finally, turning back around to continue walking. Dan follows more easily this time and doesn’t stop immediately to look at Stevie.

“Thanks,” Dan hides his blush in the small amount of fur he can. His head is almost triple the size of Stevie’s body, so it’s more difficult than he thought it would be.

They decided just after leaving Phil’s friends pet store that they would head to the grocery store quickly to grab some ingredients for the dinner they were going to have together and for a safety prayer for Stevie, just to be safe.

“Hi,” The store owner says as Dan walks in behind Phil. Dan offers a small wave and lifts Stevie’s paw to say hi from her too. He’s being _that_ extra cat parent from now on.

“Hello. Is this a new pet?”

The store owner comes over after taking off his apron and Dan allows him to stroke Stevie whilst he watches Phil off in the distance collecting the list of things they need. Phil offered to teach Dan how to make his favourite broth, consisting of red lentils and some beans, cauliflower and sweetcorn. So that’s what Dan is assuming Phil is getting.

“Yeah, I just got her,” Dan says, smiling down at Stevie in his hand reacting to the gentle strokes from the shop owner.

“She’s just a lovely little thing isn’t she?”

“Yeah I’m pretty happy with her,” Dan nods, because that’s not far from the truth at all.

Phil comes back and places the ingredients on the counter, Dan assumes from the thump of items on the counter that he hears, and comes back over and joins them in cooing Stevie. Stevie must look like the worlds most spoiled kitten right now and Dan intends to keep it that way.

Lost in his thoughts for a second, he comes back to Earth at the sound of talking and realises the shop owner has stopped giving Stevie attention and is cashing through their purchases.

“You two seem well close,” The store owner points out whilst he is calculating the total of their order. “Owning a cat together?”

“No, no!” Phil says all too quickly, but casual enough to not seem too aggressive. Dan doesn’t know how he does it, because as soon as the words left the shop keepers mouth, Dan turned into a tomato in all but name due to how red he has become. “Just brothers, and this is Dan’s cat. Nothing to do with me.”

“Ah, was going to say.”

Phil chuckles nervously, handing the money to the store owner and running his hand through his hair, not daring to look at Dan in fear their cover will be blown.

Dan continues blushing, hiding his face in Stevie’s fur, whilst Phil pays for the ingredients and he follows Phil out once it’s clear he’s done.

“What?” Phil asks, laughing a little as Dan’s lifts his eyebrows out of shock.

“Why’d you have to call us brothers, you idiot?” Dan squeals, reaching out and shoving Phil with one hand but making sure Stevie is secure in the other. He can’t believe that Phil called them brothers after they spent the best part of last night doing things brothers _don’t_ and _shouldn’t_ do, but he’d be damned if he isn’t making sure the little pride and joy in his arms isn’t safe first.

He knows it makes sense, because they can’t exactly say they are two guys who like each other in ways a man and a woman should, but anything other than siblings wouldn’t go amiss. Literally, anything would make Dan less disgusted.

The thump against Phil’s bicep affects Phil because he stumbles back, although Dan isn’t sure it’s due to his force but more because Phil is giggling too much to maintain a balance right now. And listening to that sound makes the joke between them a little bit worth it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiii :D
> 
> this was maybe one of my favourite chapters to write. i really loved writing them have some deep and meaning chats with some kitties. i think that's kinda beautiful actually.
> 
> i hope you all have a lovely rest of the week and i just wanted to let anyone reading this know that i have started posting my new fic :D it's [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/25166044/chapters/60983572) if you wanna check it out! it's a fake relationship au which may be one of my faves to read so i thought i'd have a crack at writing one too <3
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	12. Chapter 12

After an entire walk home, consisting of Dan complaining and whining over being referred to as Phil’s brother, they finally walk through the front door of Dan’s cottage. Phil’s reunited with Dusk and Dan watches fondly at their interaction, seeing Dusk just as excited to see Phil return as Phil is to see Dusk.

Phil is sitting down on the floor almost immediately with a Dusk curled up in his lap licking at his fingers and his face. Dusk is like a dog in that respect and Dan finds it adorable. He isn’t sure whether it’s the cat or Phil that makes it adorable, but he doesn’t want to place bets on what his heart thinks on that one just yet.

“Shall I put Stevie down?” Dan asks anxiously, tightening his fingers around the tummy of his kitten out of nerves instead of letting her go like he thought he would have as soon as he entered his home.

“Dusk is lovely, she spends a lot of time in the cat area with me. Let her down,” Phil says softly, holding onto Dusk’s belled collar just to be safe. The look on Phil’s face says a thousand words and two of them being _trust me_ so Dan does, bending down and releasing the grip he has on Stevie to let her jump away.

Dusk notices instantly but stays patient whilst Stevie gathers her bearings. After a couple of minutes, Stevie finally notices Dusk’s presence and goes to sniff around her. Dan feels grateful that Phil is sitting down on the floor with Dusk so if anything happens, he can break it away. He isn’t sure he could do anything himself if they began to fight.

That’s not necessary, and actually, Dan’s sure neither of them need to be here to keep watch because Phil let’s go of Dusk’s collar and Dusk jumps down to sniff too. Dan tenses up for a second but that proves not necessary yet again because as soon as Dusk is on a level playing field with Stevie, they share a quick meow and start chasing each other around the lounge.

Dan watches for a few more minutes as the two cats play with one another and he finds himself smiling. He didn’t know he would be a cat owner any time soon let alone have someone he could _maybe_ call his boyfriend and have two cats in his living room.

“Come on, we’ve got dinner to cook,” Dan says, trusting enough that Dusk and Stevie won’t accidentally kill each other in the few minutes it takes for Dan and Phil to walk into the kitchen to prepare their dinner.

Dan pulls out the cutting board from one of the drawers and hands it to Phil, who is leaning against that damn counter again. Dan tries to not overthink it. In order to distract himself, he pulls out two knives for them to get to work on the vegetables.

“What did you buy?” Dan says conversationally, realising now that they don’t really have much to talk about now the cats are fine in the other room.

“Just some onions, mushrooms and potatoes. I figured we could fry the onions and mushrooms in olive oil and boil the potatoes for a bit, and then fry them too?”

“Sounds good,” Dan nods, looking at the grocery bag full of the vegetables. They didn’t buy them all but Dan knows he has an unhealthy amount of vegetables from what Eleanor gives him from their farm. She says he can help himself but he doesn’t want to do that. “What do you want to do?”

“I’ll sort out the potatoes and you do the other vegetables?”

“Sure.”

Dan gets to work, grabbing another cutting board and chopping the onion into fine dices. After a few minutes, he reaches to get the mushrooms that Phil bought when he hears giggling behind him. He turns around with a raised eyebrow to see Phil bending down at one of his cupboards whilst giggling.

Dan opens his mouth to ask what Phil finds so funny but Phil beats him to it by turning around, candle in one hand and his other hand stifling his giggles.

“Why do you keep this in here?” Phil doesn’t even attempt to hide the giggles anymore, moving his hand to rest at his side, and Dan wants to be mad about it. He can’t find it in him though.

“Shut up,” Dan rolls his eyes and grabs the candle from Phil’s hands, brushing fingertips as he does so, and walks into the lounge to put it in its rightful place on top of the mantlepiece.

He looks for Stevie and Dusk for a second, and sees them cuddled up on the couch together, releasing the breath he didn’t mean to hold. He’s glad they are getting along, even if he is a little jealous at them cuddled up on the sofa and he isn’t involved.

Walking back into the kitchen, he sees Phil still laughing about the candle in the pots and pans drawer and rolls his eyes again. He can’t seem to stop himself feeling the overwhelming butterflies in his stomach at Phil being too cute, “Why are you laughing now?”

“No reason!” Phil laughs, raising his hands above his head to admit innocence and offer a metaphorical white flag.

Dan hums in annoyance, but he doesn’t really annoyed. He’s coming to the conclusion that he doesn’t think he can be any more with Phil.

“You really have just shoved everything into cupboards, so you don’t have to deal with it, huh?” Phil teases, eyes focused on the potatoes in front of him which he is chopping up into small cubes so they can be easily cooked.

“I didn’t have time to find places for everything!” Dan replies, turning around to continue chopping up the mushroom into small and even slices.

“So you shoved prayer candles in the kitchen?”

“I may, want to pray in the kitchen. You don’t know me, Phil,” Dan says, trying to hide the smile in his voice but he doesn’t think it works.

“Evidently not.”

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Cooking turns out a treat for them both. They didn’t burn down the kitchen. They didn’t burn any of the vegetables and made an edible meal of vegetables and potatoes. Phil actually showed off his culinary techniques by adding a few spices and broth to make a soup consistency sauce and Dan tried to not show how impressed he was that Phil could do anything like that.

They decided to bring the food onto the couch to spend time with their two kittens, kittens even though Phil argued that Dusk is a grown lady and shouldn’t be likened to Stevie but Dan classed them both as kittens anyway and Phil didn’t protest anymore.

Watching his kitten and Phil’s kitten play with each other in his lounge, really sets home for Dan what is going on here. Phil isn’t just his friend anymore. Yes, they haven’t labelled anything, but they don’t think they need to, because Dan knows exactly what Phil is to him. Phil is the Lily and Dan is the Eleanor, even though he knows they shouldn’t compare relationships like that.

“They are going to end up being the best of friends, I’m calling it now,” Phil says confidently, snaking his hand across the couch to find Dan’s hand and intertwining them together. He gives Dan’s hand a little squeeze and a shiver runs up Dan’s spine and butterflies flutter in his stomach.

“Yeah?” Dan swears he whispers so quietly that Phil wouldn’t hear him. He goes to repeat himself but Phil opens his mouth instead.

“I’m not letting you slip between my fingers just yet, Dan,” Phil says turning his head to meet Dan’s. Bright blue eyes staring right back into his dark brown ones.

Dan doesn’t mean to lean forward, because he’s kind of still hungry and wants to eat some more, but it feels magnetic. He feels like Phil’s pulling him in and he can’t really say no. He’s sure he doesn’t really want to anyway.

They kiss far differently than their first kiss just over twenty-four hours ago. It’s deeper, more passionate and Dan swears he finally feels those fireworks he hears everyone talk about in romantic novels.

He thought it was an over romanticism of love. The description of fireworks being lit and going off all around you when your lips connect to a loved one. He feels the tingles all the way down from his fingers to his toes and his head begins to feel a little bit fuzzy.

Phil’s tongue gains entrance of Dan’s mouth and Dan whimpers as a result, pulling Phil ever closer to him. He doesn’t think it’s possible, but it works and Dan’s clothed chest is flush with Phil’s. Phil’s hands find purchase around Dan’s waist and Dan’s hands stay cement on Phil’s cheeks.

The first kiss they had yesterday feels somewhat similar, but the intensity of this one hits different. It’s almost overwhelming, like Dan has drunk bottle after bottle of elderflower champagne and nothing feels real anymore.

It feels slightly more real when a gasp escapes his throat at the feeling of being lifted onto Phil’s lap, opening his eyes slightly out of confusion at the change of position. It’s not that much different, kind of similar to yesterdays kiss but it feels different. It has more meaning. It isn’t fuelled of anxiety and desperation, it’s filled with trust and want instead.

Dan’s hands found their way to the back of Phil’s neck where his arms rested on Phil’s shoulders and his fingers found home twirling the hairs at the nape of Phil’s neck. Pulling a little, Phil’s hands moved instinctively to Dan’s hips and Dan swears that he’s going to get bruise marks where Phil’s fingertips dig into his skin.

Dan pulls away with a gasp when Phil’s fingertips dig that little bit deeper and Dan feels a mixture of pain and pleasure. Phil’s eyes are wide like he fears he has overstepped and Dan feels himself fall in love all over again, because he knows he feels that. He isn’t going to say it though.

He breathes out a shaky laugh as he pulls Phil’s face closer to his once again with his hands, peppering small and delicate kisses all over Phil’s face. He listens to the soft giggles escaping Phil’s mouth and they are enough incentive to continue this.

He places kisses over Phil’s forehead, the place where he sees frown lines before they break away when Phil laughs at something dumb Dan is doing. He moves down to place kisses over Phil’s cheekbones, making sure to get every single freckle the love it deserves – a game of connecting the dots he knows he will love to play time and time again.

He stays at Phil’s mouth once he gets there, allowing the deepening of the kisses to continue with Phil’s tongue exploring his mouth. He doesn’t think he can get enough.

Their roles reverse momentarily when Phil slides his one hand to the back of Dan’s neck to arch it backwards, exposing his neck. Phil places chaste kisses away from Dan’s mouth all the way down to his jawline, where he switches it up and opts for open mouthed kisses along his neck.

Dan never thought he would enjoy people placing what he would deem as wet kisses anywhere near his neck, a place enough to make him squirm but the second Phil’s mouth lands on his neck, he knows he could never hate this. Phil’s breath is warm against his skin and the kisses provide him nothing but love and adoration.

Phil’s arms are still wrapping themselves back around his waist in case Dan falls backwards and he doesn’t think he could feel more loved than in this moment.

It’s when Phil kisses a particularly sensitive spot, just before where his neck meets his collarbones, Dan lets out a breath of a moan. He knows he should feel embarrassed about just how loud he is being, but he feels Phil smirk against his skin and he can't manage to. Phil kisses that spot over and over, occasionally biting down gently causing Dan’s eyes to roll back in the back of his head and heavy pants to breathe between his lips.

“Fuck,” Dan breathes out, biting down harder on his lower lip in an attempt to keep himself quiet. He isn’t sure why because no one else is here and it doesn’t work anyway, small whimpers escaping his throat every so often when Phil bites down a little harder than before.

Phil stops kissing Dan’s neck after this and Dan almost whines when the sensation disappears off of his skin but Dan knows he is smiling instantly when Phil’s eyes meet his once again.

“Bed?” Phil whispers, placing one more chaste kiss against Dan’s lips for good measure.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Bed turns out being a make-out session void of clothes, because apparently, Phil had the same anxiety around being naked around Dusk as Dan did around Stevie. They aren’t their children by any means but that doesn’t mean they have their consent to be naked around them. Dan would feel incredibly worried about it.

Dan reminds himself of the small kisses trailing down his neck like before, reaching his navel and he knows he remembers the exact reaction he had when he felt Phil pepper kisses along the waistband of his briefs.

He remembers taking such an intense inhale of air and it only being released once Phil’s head trails back up towards Dan’s. Dan pushed Phil’s droopy hair back to kiss him along the side of his face and Phil whispered that he had never been kissed with so much love before, just because someone wanted to.

From that small confession, Dan is sure he won’t stop anytime soon. He will find new ways to show love through small actions time and time again.

They continued sharing kisses throughout the night, hard and insistent until they are both breathless but hesitant. They both know they want more, but are too scared to press forward, both knowing they have all the time in the world to push forward into the more intimate relationship they both want.

Phil’s leg stays wrapped around Dan’s hips, foot resting just a little bit north of Dan’s bum at the small of his back, while Dan’s one hand rests on Phil’s cheek, stroking his fingers across at an even pace.

“I can't believe I get you,” Dan whispers. He doesn’t think he should speak right now. It’s the middle of the night. They just fooled around for the best part of two hours, just getting to know each other under the moonlight. The moonlight that Dan seems to share so many memories with Phil in now. He shouldn’t be speaking, he shouldn’t disrupt this peace he has.

“Well you do, and I am very happy about it,” Phil replies, his voice croaky from not using it for a while. They haven’t really been speaking, in fact, they’re pretending to both be asleep but Dan ruined that the second he opened his mouth.

It’s moments like these that he is thankful for the darkness, because the constant blush on his face from simply speaking to Phil doesn’t show. It’s there but it’s not obvious.

“Please don’t ever leave,” Dan says shakily, dropping his hand from Phil’s cheek to rest at his waist instead. Now they truly are a tangled mess of limbs.

“I wouldn’t dream of it,” Phil uses his free hand to lift Dan’s face up by his chin and connects their lips together in a deep, passionate kiss. Dan losses his mind for a minute. “Now let’s sleep, Daniel.”

Dan shuffles to get comfortable with the heavy weight of three words on his tongue. He can’t say them but he sure does want to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi i hope you're all well :D
> 
> i havent really had much hope with writing lately. idk what it is but i havent really felt the /want/ to write so i have no more chapters to upload at the moment :( hopefully by next week ill have the ability to write again but at the moment i do not i hope thats ok :(
> 
> follow me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches)


	13. Chapter 13

_He makes quick work of his hands to untie the reins of his horse from the bar against the bar, that prevents the horses from escaping in the middle of the night. He ignores how the wood at the back of the barn is starting to darken with the exposure of the flames._

_Red heat covers everything dark contrasting to the flickering bright light. He doesn’t dare think about that. Not now. Not ever._

_The smoke doesn’t help him find his way back. It clouds absolutely everything in its wake, enough for Dan to have to squint to see his way out of the born but not enough for him to completely struggle. Not that he needs to find a way back because he isn’t going to be home, not in a long time._

_He makes it to the edge of their garden, his vision warping because it’s too god damn hot here and he needs to get out. He can’t even hear the loud trotting of his horse anymore, just hyperaware of his own footsteps until he eventually climbs on his horse and that quietens too._

_The sounds dissolving into anything but safety, forcing himself to be hyperaware of his heart palpitating in his chest. It’s almost numbing._

_Turning around, his mum is outside with two satchel bags for the horse and a backpack for his own back. It’s kind of funny to see how much of his life is just in three small bags. Just like that._

_She offers him a kiss on his forehead, and then another on his cheek before shoving him off. He doesn’t quite hear her, still blinded by the heat, but he swears she says **I love you**. He isn’t even sure he could make it out by reading her lips anyway because her hands go to cover her mouth in an attempt to hide her upset._

_Dan knows she’s upset though, she isn’t fooling anyone. Dan is upset too._

_His horse carries him away but for how long for? Two minutes? Two hours? Two days? Dan doesn’t even know, all he knows is the distorting sounds of screams and the gradual reduction of the heat around him._

_A scream sounds behind him and it sounds a lot like someone he knows but he has to keep moving. He pulls the reins on the horse towards his body to keep pulling himself forward, away from the screams and aware of the heat._

_He stops sweating at some point, enough to breathe._

_When he thinks he is far enough away, placing himself on the time of a hill, he climbs off his horse and looks behind him for the first time since he **thinks** he said goodbye to his mother for the last time._

_The scenes behind him are so much more different now. Almost haunting._

_The fires are still there, Dan’s surprised he can’t feel them on his body anymore because of the sheer size of the flames._

_There’s no one in sight underneath at the ground of his town. All the houses are burnt to a crisp. It looks like somewhere that’s been burnt to the ground for years and hasn’t been touched since. Dan doesn’t mistake the twinge in his stomach when he thinks about that._

_The sights of his childhood village being left to nothing but dusk and a few planks of wood, isn’t something that Dan really wants to see and he isn’t sure just how much he can take in before his throat closes up and tears start rolling down his face._

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Warmth drowns Dan when he wakes up. It’s not odd for him to feel warm in the early morning because it’s the middle of summer and he’s normally wrapped around Phil’s torso, making him sweat a little. Not uncomfortably sweating, just enough to feel it. Although, Dan isn’t sure he would complain if it was the uncomfortable type of sweating. He would still stay curled up in Phil’s body absorbing all the heat and adoration Phil can give him.

He stretches, wanting to find that place of warmth that he cuddles into every morning in his still sleepy daze, but he’s quick to find that that warmth isn’t in bed with him.

Frowning, he reluctantly opens his eyes, finding that Phil is definitely gone. The curtains are pulled open and there is light pouring through the window. Dan surprised at himself for not waking up earlier because now he notices just how bright the light is shining through.

The side of the bed that Phil occupied just the night before is perfectly made, other than the small mess that Dan has made from trying to find Phil in his half asleep daze. And everything looks like Phil never existed. If Dan has more sleepy, he may think he made him up.

Waking up alone isn’t really something Dan wants to make a habit of. His brain, it overthinks and tries to tell him that Phil has changed his mind and has run away from Dan because this is all too much and Phil doesn’t like him like that, even though the hours of making out they’ve done in the past forty-eight hours could prove otherwise.

It isn’t until he opens up his eyes properly that he sees Dusk and Stevie curled up by his feet that he finally allows his anxiety to quell. Phil wouldn’t have left Dusk here if he had upped and left Dan. For one, Dusk wouldn’t have allowed it and second, after things Phil has already told Dan about his personal life, he is sure Phil has a further attachment to Dusk than he lets on.

He smiles softly at the sight. Dusk is a lot bigger than Stevie obviously due to their age difference so Dusk is curled up in a c shape with Stevie safely tucked in Dusk’s tummy as she belongs there. Dan smiles even wider thinking about the possibility that that is what Dan and Phil look like whilst they are cuddling, even though they aren’t of a similar size difference like their cats are.

Dan makes a mental reminder that he is Stevie in this situation, using Phil has a safety blanket and Dusk is Phil, being the bigger spoon.

He sighs, sitting up a bit more in an attempt to not wake the cats up and get out of bed in one piece, but it doesn’t work. One shuffle and they are both wide awake and ready to play, Stevie, in particular.

Dan giggles as Stevie jumps on him repeatedly, hitting him softly with her paws so he is definitely sure she wants to play. Dusk follows up, still excited but a little more mellow than Stevie and that’s when Dan notices a little rolled up piece of paper attached to her collar.

He runs his hand through Stevie’s fur, appeasing her as much as he can with a little kitten who just wants to play, before moving his hand to offer a light chin scratch to Dusk, knowing that’s her favourite. He does so until they both calm down and rest against his body again.  
Taking out the note from Dusk’s collar and unravelling it, he begins to read it.

_Hi my love,_

_I’ve gone home to collect a few things that I think you’ll enjoy so please don’t worry. I’ll be back._

_I left Dusk here as proof. Even though I know you’d believe me :)_

_Please have a good day, I’ll try to be back before nightfall but knowing me, I can’t hold that promise!_

_That it harm none, do as thou wilt_

_Phil x_

Dan finds himself smiling at the crinkled paper as he sets it down, not missing the way the paper allows him to get Phil’s scent in his mind again after a night’s rest.

As he stretches, the soft sheets against his back feel all the more inviting. He could stay in bed all day and wait for Phil’s return, because as soon as Phil returns they’ll come back here anyway. Their cats will willingly stay in the bed with him if he gives them enough attention, which of course he will do as he would have nothing better to do all day otherwise.

He slides his hand down his chest and allows his thumb to brush over the place on his torso where Phil’s arm would have rested in their slumber, missing the heavy weight of his _boyfriend?_ Dan’s still unaware of whether he can call him that. Dusk is heavy against his hipbone but that’s not the same feeling.

Dan smiles at the memory when his hand travels to his tummy and remembers the feeling of Phil’s fingers splaying over his stomach and offering feather light touches in the name of love.

Sighing, he gives up sulking in bed and stands up, watching as Dusk and Stevie eagerly jump up at his movement to follow wherever he plans to go. Tugging on the shirt that Phil wore the night before and leaving his bottom half bare apart from a pair of his boxer briefs, he makes his way downstairs.

He doesn’t think he can get over the tiny pitter patter of toe beans following him down the stairs.

Making it into the lounge, he notices how all the curtains are open and he smiles despite himself knowing Phil had done that. They were once talking about how Dan thrives in a light environment but often feels too low to have the energy to make his living environment light and inviting. Phil really listened.

_”You can’t just live in darkness all day every day!”_

_“Try me!” Dan fights back. He knows it’s all fun and games but something strikes him with a desire to defend himself. He knows he shouldn’t live in darkness every day but his mental health has other ideas._

_“It’s not healthy,” Phil murmurs, running soft circles up and down the length of Dan’s arm. The one that’s exposed in the cool flowing air from the opened window, that’s what Dan is blaming the goosebumps on anyway._

_“I can’t help it,” Dan grumbles, ducking his head down into Phil's chest._

_“I know,” Phil says back to him, before pulling him closer to place a gentle kiss on his forehead, then his cheek and then his mouth for good measure. “We’ll get there.”_

_Dan hums as a response, leaning into the kisses all the same._

_“How do you paint then? Because you can’t exactly see in the dark well enough to see what you’re painting?”_

_“I simply don’t.”_

_“You don’t?” Phil almost screams, but he catches himself. Dan notices it though. He always does, he always seems to notice when people are shocked and/or disappointed in him even if they don’t necessarily mean to be._

_It reminds him of when he would have a depressive episode at home and his mother would be almost disappointed in him for not showering in the morning or leaving his bed all day. It’s embarrassing._

_“Nope.”_

_“Then we need to change that soon,” Phil hums gently as he reaches out to intertwine their fingers and squeezing in place of saying everything is okay. Sometimes Dan does believe it._

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

Dan occupies the rest of his time well. He just about finishes making a pan full of fried vegetables, turning off the heat and placing it into two respective bowls when he hears the cats meowing loudly in the front room and the door close.

He frowns for a second, at a loss of what that could be when he remembers. He remembers he has a boyfriend and he said he would be coming back after a few hours. His frown quickly being replaced with a smile ear to ear, he makes his way into the living room and he doesn’t think he can smile even wider at the sight he is greeted with.

Phil is sitting on the floor with his legs crossed underneath each other and both Dusk and Stevie on top of him. They are climbing up his upper body to reach his face and offering him small licks of his cheek, a way of them to say welcome home and that they love him.

“I wish I could take a permanent picture of this,” Dan sighs, leaning up against the doorframe not taking his eyes off of the sight. He can’t help the smile that is plastered on his face and he sees it mirrored on the man in front of him when he looks up to see Dan.

“You could,” Phil offers, smiling at Dan for a few more seconds before looking back at the kittens too. Dan doesn’t blame him, his eyes keep wandering to their cats too. It feels nice to say that. Even though Dusk is technically Phil’s familiar alone, he is as much Dan’s cat as Phil’s and vice versa with Stevie.

“How?” Dan frowns a little. He knows his boyfriend is a little weird at times but he isn’t quite sure what to make of the weird things he says sometimes, this especially.

“You could paint it?”

Dan thinks about it for a second. He could. He has the painting supplies, well some of them at least.

“I don’t think I have everything?” Dan shuffles in his spot for a second, fiddling with the long sleeves of his jumper that have now somehow coming to cover his hands. He calls it a safety mechanism, the soft fabric of his jumper protecting his hands from any harm, even though there definitely isn’t any harm here with Phil.

“You can make do, right?” Phil says, obviously not noticing Dan’s discomfort at art being brought up whilst having his face in a ball of fur called Stevie.

“I think so. I have a few things,” Dan says as he looks over at his easel in the corner of the room. Phil made him get it out a few nights ago in the hopes that he would start painting again, so far Dan hasn’t touched it.

“And then we can get you some more supplies soon?”

“Let’s,” Dan shrugs, knowing one day he does definitely need to pick up the pencil and start again. It’s something he wants to pursue in the near immediate future if the gods will allow him.

He needs to stop being so scared of things like this.

He’s scared for a lot of reasons but he knows deep down, this shouldn’t scare him. He needs to push forward. He needs to push forward with his life because he knows his parents would love that for him. They would love that he had a nice home thanks to them and he was on his way to get a brilliant job thanks to his amazing boyfriend. They would be so happy for him.

And now is not the time to be scared. Now is the time to be happy and push yourself.

He spends a few minutes thinking to himself, smiling about how lucky he is to be living the life he is living regardless of the fear around it when he hears a small giggle and a voice begin speaking.

“Now come here because I have returned for almost five minutes and the only proper welcome I have been given is from our cats,” Phil pouts, but Dan knows it’s all in good faith. If Phil was really sad, he wouldn’t be pouting right now.

“What would a proper welcome entail?” Dan smiles, already stepping forward from the doorframe into the lounge properly. He doesn’t completely follow what he assumes is Phil’s orders though, coming to sit down on the floor with him but not closing any distance.

“I don’t know,” Phil grins back at him, gently pushing the kittens off of his lap and ignoring their whines in protest as he shuffles closer to close that remaining distance between them. “What can you think of?”

“I don’t have any clue, Philly,” Dan pretends to think by putting his finger against his mouth, seemingly deep in thought. He hears Phil scoff and sighs before closing his eyes at the impact of Phil’s lips on his own.

It’s not as heated as their kisses have been before, but it’s definitely something for Dan to catch his heart stuttering at. He feels tingling at every inch of his being even though Phil is only touching his lips. He doesn’t know how Phil manages that every time, limiting the touch but maximising the effect.

He sighs when Phil eventually pulls away, not too far, however, just enough for them to breath again.

“I think that was an alright welcome home,” Phil mumbles against Dan’s lips and Dan’s eyelids flutter at the cool breeze of air that comes with it.

He hums, closing the small gap between them to place a few chaste kisses on his boyfriend’s lips before he hears a knock at the door. He takes a few seconds to spring back, caught in a trance that Phil had caused, but he eventually stands up and opens the front door.

Seeing a dishevelled looking Eleanor shakes him immediately from any remaining trance he found himself in. Eleanor is standing there in his doorway shaking and with tear tracks running down her face. He knows something serious has happened.

“Hi. Are you okay?” Dan stutters.

“Hi, Dan. Lo-“ Eleanor frowns. “Why is Phil on the floor?”

“Long story. He came home to gr-“

“I don’t have time.”

“Charming,” Phil rolls his eyes playfully, not having looked up at Eleanor yet so Dan can't really blame him for not understand.

“No,” Eleanor grunts, running her hand through her hair and sighing out of frustration. “Look, Dan, there’s no easy way to say this but witchfinders are coming to this area and you need to hide everything.”

“Everything?” Phil looks up then, noticing the way Eleanor is appearing before them and Dan notices how Phil stiffens.

“Yes, everything. They will almost definitely come in your home and check for anything witchy. There’s a very small room underneath the floorboards in the kitchen that they won't check, it’s covered by the rug so you can hide everything there.”

“This isn’t fair,” Phil says, finally standing himself up to join the other two in a close-knit hug.

“I know honey, but it happens,” Eleanor sighs softly looking at Dan this time, calmer than she’s been the entire time she’s been here. Maybe it’s that motherly nature peaking out again to protect Dan. Maybe Dan should be more scared than he is right now regardless of her calmness.

“Okay,” Dan sighs, leaning into Phil without necessarily meaning to. Maybe he relies too much of other people for comfort rather than being strong himself, but who is to blame him?

“You have Phil, he’ll help you. I’m sure he knows what to do,” Eleanor continues, pointing a look in Phil’s direction on the floor for good measure. Dan watches as Phil offers a strong nod and she nods back in confirmation.

“But for the love of Gods, please leave before they come here. They probably won’t like the fact two men are living here, and that isn’t for witch reasons.”

Dan draws a blank for a second, maybe a second too long, confused about why that would be the case. Of course, he forgets that not everyone follows the Wiccan rede believing that as long as you aren’t harming anyone you’re doing fine. Of course, everyone else isn’t as welcoming and openminded as his kind.

He offers a nod quickly before Eleanor turns on her heel and leaves them alone yet again.

Silence looms over them as they get to quick work hiding everything Wiccan in Dan’s cottage. The crystals, the altar full of herbs. They assume the plants can stay, because people have plants all the time and it isn’t an issue. A lot of people care for themselves and grow their own herbs as it’s cheaper than buying them all the time.

Dan grabs the few crystals he has in his bedroom before running down the stairs to meet Phil in the kitchen. He halts by the doorway to stare at Stevie and Dusk who are sitting patiently on the sofa watching them. He knows they can sense something is up and he hates that his cats are so nervous.

“What about the cats?” Dan stutters, ignoring the anxiety welling in his throat at the thoughts of what could happen to his and Phil’s kittens if they are caught out.

“Cats are probably fine. People have cats,” Dan doesn’t like how blunt Phil is being in all this.

He guesses it’s fine and it’s nothing he has done. Their lives are on the line, of course, Phil is panicking slightly. Maybe he handles it all differently than Dan does, having been here for years before Dan.

“You’re right.”

Phil hums back, shoving the final crystals in the small room underneath the floorboards. He closes up the latch and covers the trapdoor with the rug and makes it look as natural as possible.

Dan watches as Phil stands up, shaking the dust off of his knees as he straightens himself. Their eyes catch for a moment and for that moment, Dan sees the vulnerability in Phil’s features appear for the first time since Eleanor left.

He hates that Phil had to be brave for him. Dan just wants anything but Phil having to be brave for him. Phil doesn’t need to be brave.

“Have you done this before?”

“A few times.”

“Will it be okay?”

“I think so.”

The eye contact breaks when Dan jumps at the banging at the door. It isn’t as inviting as whenever Eleanor or Phil knocks on the door. Even when Eleanor and Lily’s children come over to ask permission to play in the field connected to Dan’s cottage, it isn’t as aggressive and loud as the knock at his door right now.

He just wants anything but to open the door but his feet find their way in front of it anyway. He breathes out his mouth, not aware that he was holding his breath for the last ten minutes. But his stomach drops out of his body when he turns his head back to Phil, realising that Phil is _still_ here when Eleanor said he definitely should not be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me last week: i dont have any chapters written im sorry if i miss next week  
> me also:
> 
> i'm getting to the exciting part of this fic and im so excited to show u all !!! it hasnt been very history based in the recent updates but i am going to be including some in more now ive deepened their relationship a lil :D
> 
> speak to me on twitter [@sunflowrwitches](www.twitter.com/sunflowrwitches) <3


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> apologises for the lack of an update for a hot minute, i'll explain more in the end notes :) <3

Dan realises he can no longer hide and escape this situation – even though all he wants to do is desperately grab at Phil’s hand, intertwine their fingers and run away to hide under a metaphorical table to protect them both from this situation – when there’s another knock at his door which startles him once again.

He tears his eyes from Phil, offering a shy smile in lieu of an apology for whatever is going to happen next (but what, he isn’t sure), and opens the door to be greeted by a tall man with dirty blonde hair and blue eyes.

He doesn’t really look threatening, but Dan still feels the fear in the pit of his stomach like he knows his life is about to end. He can’t be too sure, but he has a feeling that the gig is up.

“Hi, sir,” Dan stammers out, luckily hiding any sense of guilt around him and resisting the urge to turn around to look at Phil who is lurking somewhere behind him.

“Alright, boy. Just doing a sweep of the neighbourhood because we heard witches were here.”

The witchfinder steps into his cottage properly, forcing Dan to take a few steps backwards. Once the blonde haired blue eyed man walks forward, two other equally scary but not as tall men follow him in.

“Witches?” Dan scoffs in an attempt to act shocked. He’s unsure if it works for him but they don’t comment on it. “They are real?”

“As real as rats could be yes, proper pests,” The one witchfinder at the back of the group complains. He isn’t as intimidating as the first person now that Dan can look at him properly. He is short with absolutely no hair in sight and reminds Dan of a gnome statue that his grandma had on her porch when he was a tiny child.

“It’s nothing to do with you. You don’t look like the type,” The blonde witchfinder explains, stepping into the lounge properly and beginning to inspect this and that in Dan’s room. Dan tries desperately to understand what he means by him not looking like the _type_ but he doesn’t want to question it, instead of keeping his mouth shut. “We just have to check.”

“Yeah that’s fine, go ahead.”

He watches as all three of the men wander around his living room and tries not to act automatically guilty. He knows he isn’t guilty. He hasn’t done anything wrong. It’s not his fault that his entire religion and culture has been ruined by society because they couldn’t handle anyone practising anything other than Christianity. It’s not his fault that Wicca was vilified and turned into this thing that was associated with the devil.

Watching some more as the men look under the sofa for anything they find suspicious, check every single drawer in Dan’s cabinet, he tries to remember that this isn’t his fault and repeats _I’ve done nothing wrong_ over and over again in his head whilst one of the men speak up. And they won’t find anything.

“You have cats?” One of them speaks up, and for a second Dan forgot about Dusk and Stevie. He was too busy worrying about how he was perceived that he didn’t even stop to think about cats.

“Yeah, I love cats personally.”

“That’s very odd for a strapping young man like yourself, but I guess we can’t choose what we like,” Dan tries not to grumble or roll his eyes at the one witchfinder making such a weird comment. Why can’t a _strapping young man_ like kittens?

“I’d get a dog though personally, more tough and manly,” the other one pipes up to speak, as his opinion mattered. Why does Dan have to be seen as tough or manly? What if he wants to be neither of those things?

Dan can't help himself with rolling his eyes at that comment, but luckily none of them notices it so he can pass for another day.

“I am allergic,” Dan lies through his teeth because he’s far from allergic. His best friend from childhood had a pet dog and he loved her very much, but it’s a valid excuse for them to shut up.

“That’s odd, can’t you just grin and bear it?”

“I almost died before,” Dan lies some more.

“Oh my, I’m so sorry for bringing it up.”

“No worries, Dan shrugs because he’s at a loss of what else to do at this point, without being unnecessarily defensive of a man’s desire to own a kitten. Why does he _have_ to own a dog just because they are deemed a manly animal? Why are cats seen feminine?

Dan glances over at Phil for a split second to notice him awkwardly leaning against the door frame which enters to the kitchen. In any other situation, he would find it hilarious, the fact that Phil is standing there looking like a lost child in a toy store.

Obviously, he isn’t about to find it funny because Phil is probably shitting himself and dreading every moment of this. And Dan isn’t the type to make fun of that, at least when they are in the moment.

So the witchfinders don’t draw attention to Dan staring off at Phil in a longing type of way, he diverts his gaze towards the flowers on the mantlepiece that one of them is fondling.

It’s not in a weird way but Dan is overly attached to floral decorations and he just doesn’t want a man like that touching them. It will wilt them far quicker than Dan is prepared to see. The witchfinder, although not gracefully, removes his hand from the flower bud and dangles it down his side, like an almost lifeless being attached to his shoulder.

“Your house is very bare, why do you not have anything?” He turns around, glancing at Dan as he does so. He doesn’t necessarily have a dangerous look in his eye, like he is trying to catch Dan out on anything so instead of getting his back him, Dan answers truthfully. As truthfully as he can without outing himself as a witch right now, so technically only fifty per cent truthful.

“I just moved here about a month ago,” Dan smiles, looking the bald witchfinder dead in the eyes to provide the comforting honesty that he is probably looking for.

Dan must be thinking correctly because the witchfinder just looks at him for a second, a look that Dan perceives as sympathetic. A look that he used to get from his grandmother after he came home from school exhausted. It isn’t as soothing coming from someone who is literally trying to catch him out as a witch, something Dan could die for, though.

“And you still don’t have a home fit for a home?”

“Struggling to figure out an aesthetic of what I want.”

“Aesthetics aren’t for our kind, maybe get a few weird knick-knacks and call it a day,” The other witchfinder chimes in, and Dan notices the look on the witchfinder he was speaking to disappear in front of his eyes. Almost like he dropped his angry and scary persona that he holds to find witches to speak to Dan.

Dan wonders for a second about what type of person this man could be. Could he genuinely be a nice person doing this job to feed his assumed wife and children? That would make a lot of sense about why he is so sincere and understanding.

Or is he actually as horrible as a witchfinder should be, but just changed for a second in the hopes that Dan’s cover would blow in the presumed safety of a nice man?

Dan isn’t sure so he just shrugs his shoulders instead and says, “You’re right.”

It seems like almost ten minutes into the witchfinder being in Dan’s cottage, that they actually notice Phil because when Dan moves his eyes from the witchfinder who’s niceness he was questioning, he catches the eye contact of another. The other is looking between him and Phil questioningly, and this time Dan can’t make out what he is thinking.

“Who’s this? Do you live together?”

Dan seizes up immediately and panics. He knows that they could easily say no, they do not live together because technically they do not. They don’t live together at the moment even though Phil seems to spend more time here at Dan’s cottage than he does at his own home – which come to mention, Dan has never seen.

He could be honest and say they don’t but he knows deep down that living together is such an easier excuse for them to follow than them both simply being two friends hanging out. Because two friends hanging out in a place alone together raises more questions about their friendship. Two people living together could be for any reason, but hanging out alone together is pretty homosexual of them and that’s even scarier than being a witch.

“Uh-“

“Yeah, we’re brothers!”

Dan snaps out of his panic at that. Brothers? What is Phil’s deal with picking the most god awful excuse out of the book for them?

In any other scenario, Dan would yelp and hit him playfully because that’s not a vibe he is after, but he can’t do that now. Maybe later.

“Brothers?” The witchfinder narrows their eyes some more. Not in a disbelieving way, Dan doesn’t think so anyway, but more as he had never given that a thought before now.

“We moved here from Birmingham way together to find a better living. We just thought it would be cheaper, for now, to share a house rather than two separate ones whilst we get our bearings,” Dan offers, somehow swallowing the nervousness that is climbing up his throat in the form of vomit and excessive sweat and having the ability to speak finally.

He spears a glance in Phil’s general direction to see how he is doing and the fact that Phil is still leaning against the doorframe with minimal reaction really says a lot. Phil is comfortable and not stressing out so assumedly, this is going well. Phil would have a better idea than him, having clearly been in this situation before.

“Oh, you do look alike actually. I see the family resemblance.”

This shoots Dan’s eyesight from Phil’s being straight to one of the witchfinders in front of him. The witchfinder isn’t even looking at him, but Dan can feel his eyes bulging out of his eye sockets in shock of what was said.

Dan manages to swallow his throat and turn his head away from the witchfinder, to Phil instead, and sees him staring right back at him almost mirroring his facial reaction – eyes protruding and mouth agape.

Yet again, any other scenario and situation, Dan would be giggling at just how odd Phil is looking. Obviously, he cannot do that right now.

But brothers?! Seriously, he thinks to himself. Phil has a longer face than him, he’s sure of it. Where Dan’s face curves almost into a round spherical chin, Phil’s chin creates a more sharper tilt. That’s just one of the thing that Dan notices instantly when he looks at Phil.  
How anyone could think they look alike is beyond him, although he only sees that as a compliment.

“Got to be careful though, people may think the wrong thing,” The other witchfinder laughs and Dan suddenly is able to snap out of whatever trance he is in and looks away from Phil.

Dan knows he couldn’t have hidden the way his body and face contorts into a cringe at the phrase, knowing exactly what the witchfinder is talking about. People may think they are gay and of course, no one wants that because that’s the worst thing imaginable.

“So, Birmingham way eh?”

“Yeah,” Dan nods, feigning calmness even though that is the last thing that Dan is feeling right now.

“Heard that’s a proper shit hole, be glad to get out of it, won’t you?”

Dan laughs, because he stopped through Birmingham on the way here and he vaguely remembers it not being lovely.

“Yeah, it isn’t the best,” Phil chuckles, seemingly being more casual and thus looking less guilty than Dan knows he is looking right now. Not that Dan is guilty of anything, he knows he isn’t guilty at all. He’s done nothing wrong.

“Alright boys, you seem all good here so we’re going to leave you to it,” The balding witchfinder speaks up, making Dan look at him by default. There’s a shy smile on the witchfinders face, almost like he is embarrassed that he had to look around Dan’s cottage and found nothing. Dan at least hopes that is the case.

“Thanks, officer,” Dan replies, offering that shy smile back in hopes that it looks more innocent and not grateful that he has been let off the hook for something that he is a culprit of.

He follows as the witchfinders head towards his front door and hears the gentle footsteps of Phil following close behind. Once the witchfinders step outside of his cottage door and out of the view of anything inside the house aside from the two of them, Dan feels a little more at ease.

He doesn’t get to feel that too long though because Phil’s fingertips dance around Dan’s waist and rest just above his hipbone, producing a quiet gasp from his mouth as he feels it. Luckily, no one apart from Dan and Phil notice, and the only way Dan knows Phil does because he feels a small squeeze where Phil’s hand is, fingertips creating a dip in the podgy skin that is resting there.

“But if you see anything in the neighbourhood which is really fucking weird and witchlike, please let us know.”

Dan wraps his hand around the door in preparation to shut it, wanting nothing more than to slam this door shut and remove the witchfinders from his life, be able to hug his boyfriend and hide from the rest of the world. But he can’t.

“Will do, bye!” Phil says quickly for him. It shocks him that Phil speaks so harshly and quickly, but clearly, the witchfinders don’t notice and simply nod and say their goodbyes.

“Have a good evening,” Dan mutters in response.

The door shuts and Dan makes his way to his window to watch them properly leave, paranoid they will be listening up against the door to catch them slip up. Dan’s heard of them doing that before, not to him but to random innocent witches.

Once he is sure they are gone, he spins on his heels and is caught by Phil’s hands wrapping around him.

“We did it.”

“We did,” Phil kisses him. Dan smiles against Phil’s lips before placing another kiss, this time deeper but even more loving, if that’s even possible.

“What is your problem with calling us brothers in weird situations?” Dan suddenly remembers, throwing his head back to see Phil’s face properly.

Phil laughs, making Dan roll his eyes. Phil unwraps his hands from Dan’s waist and walks around to sit on the couch properly, making a dramatic show of dead weighting his body as he drops onto the couch to bounce a little.

“It’s not funny!” Dan laughs, reaching his hand to the side of the sofa to grab a pillow to throw at him. He doesn’t purposely hit him to cause pain, just to show him his annoyance.

“It’s just easier to lie about than anything else!”

“I’m sure you could think of something,” Dan exclaims, but his fake annoyance doesn’t really last that long until it’s overshadowed with giggles that match Phil’s.

˚ ✧ ₊ ⁎ ⁺ ˳ ✧ ༚⁺ ˚

They go to sleep early tonight, proving that the witchfinder inspection took a lot out of them. Phil intertwines his own hand with Dan’s and carefully drags him upstairs to his bedroom (or alternatively their bedroom now because Phil spends all his time here aside from when he goes home to get more changes of clothes) and Dan willingly follows.

Dusk and Stevie follow too after some time, having being too scared to come out of hiding after the witchfinders had, in their eyes, broken into their home and messed with everything.

“Hi, baby,” Dan coos as he feels the body of Stevie curl around his legs and hears her purr. “I’m glad you’re here now.”

Stevie meows in agreement before jumping onto their bed and making her home on the bottom of the bed, where their feet will be. Dusk follows suit and curls up alongside Stevie.

Dan watches as Phil gets into his bed undressed down to his underwear, something of which Dan isn’t tired of seeing the sight of. Phil tucks himself into bed and leans forward to scratch the two cats out of adoration before looking at Dan in a way that Dan can only see as awe.

He raises his eyebrow and his eyes search Dan questioningly and that’s when Dan realises he has just been standing in the doorway watching everything go down instead of getting ready for bed too.

He clears his throat before pulling his shirt over his head and unbuckling his trousers, letting them fall to his ankles, before looking back at Phil.

“Here,” Phil whispers, pulling the corner of the blanket on Dan’s bed back in place of an invitation to bring him in. Dan nods shyly, even though he knows it’s stupid because they’ve been in this situation time and time again, but Dan just feels baffled that he gets to have this. He gets to have Phil in these intimate situations somehow and he doesn’t want to ever take it for granted.

Once Dan lies on his side of the bed, Phil places a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose and tucks the blanket around Dan’s shoulder neatly, leaving his arm across Dan’s stomach and rubbing circles in the exposed skin there.

Dan not so subtly shifts so that the side of his body is pressing firmly against Phil’s torso likewise, shuffling up the bed a little so that Phil can drop his head on Dan’s shoulder.

“I really like this,” Dan mutters.

“This?”

“You,” Dan whispers. He feels a warmth in his chest, his eyes moving to the cats at his feet. He can’t really believe that his life is this perfect. “We never go to your house.”

Dan doesn’t mean to say it. He just gets far too distracted at thinking about how perfect his life is that he doesn’t think before he opens his mouth.

“You’re right.”

“Can you show me one time? I want to meet your family,” Dan says, clearing his throat to feigned serenity even though he feels like nothing about this is casual.

Phil tilts his head to look at Dan because of this, resting his chin on Dan’s chest. It doesn’t surprise Dan in the slightest because that is such a bold question for anyone. They maintain eye contact for several seconds, but Dan eventually breaks it, feeling anxious over the steady gaze that Phl brings. Phil laughs softly, “Does that not make you anxious?”

“Kinda,” Dan sighs, because it does. It makes him very anxious. “But It would be worth it because I want to be closer to you and if that’s how I can do that, then I would love to do it.”

“You can be closer to me without meeting my family,” Phil wiggles eyebrows.

“Shut up!” Dan laughs but playfully slaps Phil’s shoulder. “You know what I mean.”

“You don’t want to go to my house,” Phil mutters under his breath, the stroking on Dan’s stomach coming to a halt and Dan feels that in his chest.

“Why? Are your family n-“

“No no! None of that,” Phil sighs, running his hand through his hair solely out of frustration, a mechanism that Dan has seen a lot when Phil is beginning to be stressed. Dan automatically wants to soothe his boyfriend but soothing means distracting and excuse Dan if he feels that he needs to hear Phil say whatever he is about to say. “My family are lovely. They love me. They know I am the way I am and they adore me.”

“That’s great, Phil,” Dan smiles softly at that. He knows that whilst Wicca is a wonderful religion “Then why?”

“A long story, but I just don’t think we can do that right now.”

“Okay,” Dan smiles sadly, placing a kiss on Phil’s forehead before leaning back down, assuming this conversation is long over.

Dan knows that he will need to bring it up again, but maybe not when they are both half asleep and ready for bed.

They say a quick goodnight to each other before falling asleep calmly in each other’s arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for legal reasons i come from birmingham ;)
> 
> again, apologies for not updating in a while. i have had a ton of university assignments which i'm still trying to complete and i just havent really had time to write. i also took a wanted break from writing because of the discussion of sexualising/fetishising of mlm in the dnp fandom and i wanted to process if i wanted to continue :) after speaking to a bunch of my mlm friends i realised i don't Really do anything wrong with my fics so i decided to continue :D i just always want to listen to people directly affected bc as a member of the lgbtq+ community i want to be an ally for absolutely everyone who is a part of the community likewise, even if what i'm talking about doesn't directly affect me :) 
> 
> that being said, bc of my uni assignments i may not be posting regularly but i WILL try :) i currently am writing the next chapter for this fic so fingers crossed i can complete that for next tuesday but if not ill definitely have one the week after :)


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